Embarrassing anxiety symptoms

[Fenellafrog]

I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks for some time. I get the usual symptoms...chest pains, nausea, shallow breathing but the most distressing symptom is the sudden and urgent need to use the toilet. Both 1s and 2s but usually 2s

This morning I have to take my dc to a sporting event for my ds and I'm so anxious about what will happen if I need to go and there are no toilets nearby. Does anyone else get this? How do you cope?

I have this. Can you go to the toilet right before you leave and not eat or drink anything while you're there? I find when that urge arises if I take a deep breath and then faff with something in my bag it passes. It's the worst! But if you go before you leave then your body may just know that it doesn't actually need to go, and the feeling will pass. Hope it goes well ☺️

Can you google the venue and see if there are? Is there a supermarket with a toilet nearby?

Whenever I go anywhere out of the norm I always check ahead and unfortunately this place is quite remote and unless there are toilets on site (changing rooms or Portaloos) there is nothing else nearby. There are a few pubs but none will be open during the times we are there. No supermarkets or public conveniences. I feel close to cancelling but I can't let ds down.

I will try to go beforehand but sometimes that doesn't even stop the urge. It's like pure panic creates the need to go there and then.

Not the toilet but I get some embarrassing symptoms or behaviours more like I guess.

According to my family, the most telling one that my anxiety is bad is that I can't make even the most basic decisions for myself. I ring my mum about everything and anything 'Mum, would you eat this if it's been out of the fridge for 5 minutes', 'Mum, there's two different types of apples at the shop, which one should I get', 'Mum, the dog hasn't drank in half an hour do you think something's wrong' and so on. I don't even realise I'm doing it really, at the time these seem like important things. I think it stems from me believing I'll do everything wrong if left to do it myself.

Either that or I'd get super apologetic about everything to everyone about the silliest things. DH used to have to tell me to stop saying sorry.

My grandma asked if I wanted to buy her car a while ago when I needed a new one and she was selling hers. My anxiety was at its worst. She told me to just pay what I could afford and not to worry about it. I honestly felt like she was going to disown me if I didn't offer enough. I was ringing my mum constantly asking her if she thought it was enough, if she thought I was horrible for only offering X when it was worth more like Y, how I couldn't bring myself to message my grandma and offer the amount, how I thought she'd hate me etc. etc. Now my grandma is the most lovely person ever. And I know now that I'm thinking logically that she'd never do or think any such things! I offered what I could and she said 'no problem sweetie' and that was that (except I couldn't stop apologising for being 'cheeky' all day).

Anxiety is horrible but have you sought any treatment for it? I was getting v bad a few years ago and had CBT which was amazing for me. It's so much more freeing and I'm happy now. I can just go do stuff!

It's hard work but then anxiety is hard work too. You don't have to live your life like this though. Good luck.

I am currently going through CBT and it's given me some interesting things to think about but I'm not convinced it's really doing much to alleviate the symptoms. Things like this always set it off :(

Could you take a couple of Imodium before you leave and another when you get there? (Unless you have other conditions which prevent you from taking Imodium)

@Gemma2019 I do sometimes do this and I might do it today as I'm feeling particularly on edge. It doesn't always stop me needing to go but it can slow things down. I don't really want to become dependent on this sort of thing but i think I'll have to today :(

I just feel like such a weirdo. If I get there and there is a toilet I will be fine and probably won't even need to use it. It's the fear of there not being one that seems to activate the panic.

I think you have to conjure up the plan B in your head. Let's say the worst happens and you need a poo! Could you ask another parent to watch ds while you drive to the nearest convenience?

I have a bowel disorder and it eases my anxiety if I make plans. My worst is getting stuck on a form of public transport with no toilet. I don't have a plan B for that one

I get this. bit grim, but I do have a dog and also carry poo bags round with me.. never actually needed to use one but it helps know if the worst of worst ever happened i could try and find somewhere to go .

I used to have this when doing exams. In the end the doctor gave me some tablets to 'stop the diarrhoea' and they worked like a dream. I was a bit constipated for a while, but that's because I had to take one every day for a couple of weeks for the exam period, but one from time to time for an outing would probably be ok.

I get this every time I get anxious about something. Drives me potty (excuse the pun). Just gotta rude it out, if it's as a result of going somewhere I usually end up going 4/5 times before I leave the house.

I can sympathise. If I'm nervous/anxious about a situation then I often need to go to the loo (poop 💩). My job requires me to visit clients and I dread needing the loo when I'm there, to the point that it's the main thing I'm anxious about and I have to use my office toilet multiple times before I set off. I hate that it still plagues me at almost 40.

I try to deep breath and find something to distract me. Try taking yourself off for a few minutes, maybe make out you've left something in your car. By the time you've got back then the need may have gone.

You're not wierd OP. I think it's quite a common symptom of anxiety for a lot of people, but it just isn't talked about.

I have IBS and anxiety can also have this effect on me. I have 2 suggestions you found try:

1. take a couple of Imodium about 30/40 minutes before you set off, or before your arrival time. Whilst you may still get anxiety the Imodium will slow things down and won’t make things feel so urgent. Once your back home make sure to drink plenty of water to counteract the Imodium so you don’t end up feeling stopped up.

2. If you don’t want to take the Imodium, pop some wet wipes in your bag and a spare pair of underwear and bag/nappy bag. Grab yourself some of those tena pants that you wear like knickers, and pop a pair of those on before leaving the house. The idea behind this being is that I absolutely bet you don’t need to use them, but wearing them acts like a mental safety net. Will stop you stressing about the fact that there isn’t a loo and worrying about having an accident. Even if you do end up using the pants you’ll have everything you need to clean up change of underwear and wipes etc, and if you could always nip off somewhere private or to you car and discreetly change and no one will be any the wiser. Like I say, I bet you don’t actually need the pants, but having them will calm you enough to be able to go about your day.

I really sympathise with these sorts of issues, I get terribly embarrassed about the things IBS can do to my body. When I’m having a bad flare I would really rather not leave the house, but sadly that’s not always an option. The 2 options I’ve mentioned above are the things I use to cope and work well for me.

Hope everything goes ok OP

Thank you all so much. I have just popped two Imodium and am heading out in the next half an hour so will report back later.

Had to laugh at the poster who mentioned dog poo bags as I carry them around too although the thought of having to actually do that is mortifying! Whenever I visit anywhere new my first agenda is to scope out the toilets, if there are no toilets then it's scoping out heavily wooded areas for an emergency!!!

In a worse case scenario today I could drive about 15 minutes to the supermarket but it would mean missing most of the game and probably create some raised eyebrows with the other parents. Hopefully it won't come to that...

I had this for years and, eventually, my GP referred me to a specialist. Had a colonoscopy and they removed an adenoma - pre-cancerous polyp.

Might be worth going to the Dr.

I get this, I don't eat breakfast, try for a poo before I go and take 2 Imodium before I go out.

@newtb I have been checked out for physical issues, had a full colonoscopy last year as there were a few other worrying problems but all was fine. It really is a case of anxiety creating this symptom in me. It doesn't affect me if I'm somewhere familiar like home or the supermarket where I know toilets are available. I need to learn to conquer the anxiety and I suspect the physical issues would then disappear.

It's the fight or flight thing, your body is getting ready for one or the other and emptying itself in readiness.

Could you empty yourself out before you go?

Insert a laxative suppository and it will clear out everything. Just don’t eat before hand and you will be fine.

Yep classic fight or flight I just don't know how to stop it.

Thankfully all went ok today but that's because as soon as I pulled up I saw an unlocked changing room with toilets so I knew they were there it needed. Which meant I didn't need to go. If there hadn't been anywhere it would be a different story. Oh well crisis averted for another day but I hate that I'm like this.

My stomach can sometimes act like this. I also sometimes fart with the trapped gas that builds up in my nervous stomach, it can be such a forceful fart that its followed through luckily has only happened once but if I know I'm going places where I can't leave easily etc, I take spare pants and wipes just in case. Also activated charcoal tablets really calm my stomach, I take two and about 20 minutes later my stomach feels far more settled, they're a real help. Easily bought from holland and barrett. Also I use a Bach remedy calming mouth spray to just spray onto my tongue and that can help too.