I am looking for some impartial advice regarding work

[fancyginglass]

The background is I have never been furloughed and have worked through lockdown, often doing other jobs just to help my boss out (small firm). I did have Covid symptoms and was diagnosed with suspected Covid by at least 3 different doctors. I felt really ill at times but worked as much as I could from home, taking breaks when I was really tired. Anyway, been back at work since June. Over the past few weeks I have had some really bad migraines - to the point of almost fainting. I was given a sick note by the Doctor for a week but only used two days of it. I went back to work for a day and a half and was violently ill again. To cut a long story short I have been working my lunches and working late almost every day since I came back. I don't have a break at all - I sit at my desk all day (at work) and pretty much only move to go to the toilet. I have been putting in overtime for these hours which goes to the accountant. I do a lot of hours that I don't put in - especially if I have been ill. Anyway I had put down about 4 1/2 hours over time each week on average. None of this was as a result me being ill because I made a point of trying to make those hours up. I even did pretty much a full day on the Saturday after being off to try and make up. Anyway my boss has now questioned the overtime and he's pretty hurt by it for some reason. He said I had been off a few times (I agreed) because of migraines (which doctor diagnosed as stress induced). He thinks I have been taking the piss. He sees me working these hours by he way. I also often take work home or start e-mailing at 8 in the morning before I leave for work (don't put these hours down). We are extremely busy at he moment and I told him weeks ago I was feeling overwhelmed - he couldn't really see the issue. I have worked there for many many years and I am hurt that he would think I would try and screw him for money - I just couldn''t do it. AIBU for putting in the extra time?

you Must take your breaks, it is not healthy.
you are paid for certain hours
if you do too many you will make yourself ill and it wont have been worth the extra hours.

gurglebelly I have said this and he has more or less backed off but like an idiot I still worked my lunch yesterday. I am a fool to myself. I get a lot more criticism because I work so closely to him. I am going to keep a note of every single bit of overtime I do but I'm not going to claim it. I am worried i will have more migraines, which i have no control over. I asked him if I could off-set in case I was ill again - it's normal for maybe me to take 4 days off a year with migraines but they have been a lot worse. I have also said I would take holidays for the sick days, which I have done in the past. No one else does this. I am just so tired of it all to be honest.

Honestly op you need to stop being the office mug!
You are not being highly thought of, or being given any time you need, so just stop!
Work your hours!
No more!
Take your lunch and breaks.
He will either agree to overtime or you don't do it.
He won't change while you work for free

You are jumping through hoops and making yourself ill, Stop this now! It’s really not worth it.
Work your contracted hours, let the unfinished work pile up and let him see what happens when you work to rule.
Why feel guilty, he doesn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt for causing you stress that is making you ill. Where is his loyalty to you?
Put yourself first for once.

I think that because you know your boss as a person you are a bit close to the situation and can't see it more objectively. Do you feel like you don't want to let him down as a person maybe?

Looking from the outside your life/work balance and stress illness seems a lot more important than the overtime payment.

When you do lots of extra unpaid hours because you want to help then you are also accidentally covering up the fact that there is too much work for the number of people employed. So he doesn't see that he needs to employ someone else even if you are verbally telling him that. It's kind to him in the short term but not in the long term because its encouraging him to run his business badly. Does that sound fair?

So firstly I think you should stop doing any extra free hours. Any time he says "this is so hard/there is too much work/I'm overloaded etc" reply symathetically that maybe its time to think about an extra employee.

Sit down calmly on your own in your own time with a list of what you are doing at work.
Look at what you should be doing regularly (ie your actual job) and if it is possible to do it in the time. Can you streamline this at all? You say you are already quick/efficient at it.
Look at what you are doing that you shoudn't be (ie picking up extra stuff) and stop doing that - put it back onto the person responsible kindly.
Look at what you are actually being given on top by your boss. Each time this happens work out if you can do it in your actual hours or not. If the answer is not sit down with him and tell him you can't fit it in your hours. Do this politely - no passive agressive stuff.
Decide how your feel about overtime. Do you genuinely not want to work any? If so tell your boss that is how you feel and don't accept any.

Stop working when you are off sick (literally turn off your computer and phone; get a good book; really really don't even look at them) and when you are on holiday. Make really strong boundries around this.

Good luck!

I'm just going to pick up one small thing; you checking your emails on the last day of your holiday. Now I know you said you did not claim overtime for that but to me, it wouldn't even register that that time could be overtime.

Thank you all so much for your kind replies. I thought I would get flamed on here. I have taken on board everything that has been said and from now on I think I will be doing my contracted hours and nothing else. I really don't want to work overtime and do as little as I possibly can. i have a very streamlined system with templates I have created myself - far more than anyone else. My boss actually spends a lot of time dictating stuff to his Secretary which could easily be streamlined. I have told him this. The next time I get his woe is me attitude I am going to reiterate that it is his firm, he pays himself the big wages and I am only an employee.

Good for you OP. This is exactly what you should be doing, working your contracted hours only. Exactly, he is the big boss and gets the big bucks so it’s up to him to have enough staff to get the work done and make things as streamlined as possible.
Please don’t continue making yourself ill and don’t backtrack now you have made the decision.
I reckon you will feel like a new person when you get all this time back which you had previously spent working unpaid overtime.

To be fair though I won't be a mug and work for nothing.
In the nicest possible way op you are being a mug and you are working for nothing. When you are on annual leave put an out of office on your emails. The morning you are due back clear the morning completely to catch up on admin. Schedule a catch up meeting in the afternoon with the relevant people to find out what has been going on when you’ve been away. Then the second day back you pick up the reigns.
It’s tempting when you are sick to force yourself to go back but it’s a double edged sword. Chances are if you had taken the full week the doctor signed you off for you would have had a chance to rest and recharge which could have prevented the migraine.
Working through breaks and lunch and taking work home may seem sensible when the work load is high but you need to look at it long term and it’s not sustainable. Either physically or mentally.
One of my friends worked At the same place as me but a different department (a department I have just moved to). Naturally she is quick and organized and did very well in the role. The target is 3 cases per day and every day consistently she did 5 cases. But the manager kept giving her more and more tasks on top of her normal role. Rather then saying no problem I’ll do these tasks and 2/3 cases she tried to do the tasks plus her normal output. She started coming in early, working through lunch staying behind after work.
She started migraines, stomach problems, insomnia. Ironically the harder she pushed the worse those symptoms got so she had to stay back even later, start coming in on the weekends to make up the afternoon mid week she was not productive.
After 18 months she ended up having a breakdown. She has been off for the last 6 months as a result.
Work have hired 3 people (including me) to do her work load. Every day I work constantly as there is a never ending workload but I take the breaks and lunch break that I am entitled to by law.
If you left tomorrow the business would survive and someone (or 3 someone’s) would be hired to do your work.
Work to live, don’t live to work.