If you have a good relationship with your parents...

[QuestionMarkNow]

What do you think made it that way?

I think, for me, it was the fact we had a long commute to go to school/work so I had about 1 hout talking with my dad on the way to school. and one hour with my mum coming back home.
That and knowing I could go to them with any issue and they would always be there to support me.

What about you?

Bump

I knew and know they love me and have always done their best for me, even when it meant working for long hours to give me the best possible life.

My parents aren't perfect and I dare say they made mistakes but they always had the best of intentions and continue to look out for me now. Nothing else matters.

I had a long commute to school and spent most of it with headphones in.

Honestly, I made a decision to overlook their multiple failings as parents, because they both came from deprived, dysfunctional backgrounds, and had never been properly parented themselves, and, as they are both friendless, isolated people who do not take a great deal of interest in the world outside their own bubble, had no idea that parenting might involve more than providing basic food and clothing.

They meant and mean well. I focus on that.

When you grow up enough to realise your parents aren't perfect (neither am i) - but they did their best and still try their best. That helps me get along with my parents. (Their best might not be the same as my best but we are all people with our own views, opinions, needs, desires etc etc).

Realising that my parents are human, and feel all the same feelings and have the same weaknesses and shortcomings that I do.

I realised that most of what they got wrong, was from ignorance, not malice, and that they both came from a very different generation, and very traumatised pasts. I have had to let go of quite a bit of stuff, some stuff more successfully than others.

I also realise that I'm not perfect as a parent, either, and my kids will in their time have some harsh judgments to make about me, as a person and a parent. I hope they'll be able to forgive my flaws and errors.

That means we've been able to have a good relationship as adults. There are certain things I will not discuss with my sole remaining parent, never again.

12,000 miles distance has always helped our relationship considerably, too!

There are certain things I will not discuss with my sole remaining parent, never again.

Some subjects, like sex and having a bf, have always been of the cards too

Interesting to see that a lot of responses include changing the way you look at your parents as you got older (incl realising they are humans etc...).
I’ve never felt like this as such. Even though yes we have our differences in opinions etc... (incl some ideas that for me are racists/misogynistic etc...), we’ve always been able to express our options and respect each other. Even with completely opposite POV.

I also realise that I'm not perfect as a parent, either, and my kids will in their time have some harsh judgments to make about me, as a person and a parent. I hope they'll be able to forgive my flaws and errors.

This is something that is worrying me atm for various reasons. I know that part of it is my own felling of not being good enough. But if I can make things better (Or avoid massive mistakes) then I’d like to do that too iyswim.

I realised that most of what they got wrong, was from ignorance, not malice, and that they both came from a very different generation, and very traumatised pasts. I have had to let go of quite a bit of stuff, some stuff more successfully than others.

Absolutely to this, which articulates my relationship with my parents better than I did up the thread.

That they absolutely did their best for me and had my best interests at heart. Even, maybe especially when I was a bolshy teenager, bolshy toddler, schoolchild ....

I'm glad I got to know them as adults, so that I could see this and acknowledge to them that I had seen if.

Not that they were perfect.... I had an elder sister who treated me as a mixture of sibling and child. To be absolutely fair, her methods worked much better than my mother's but there you go.

No one has my interests to heart more than my parents. They are even better emotional and psychological support than my georgeous DH - and he's pretty bloody good. We talk about anything and everything A LOT. We discuss issues and problems and work them through together. I have the benefit for their life experience and an extra two heads. The peace of mind, comfort, security, etc. that brings me simply can't be measured. I love them very much indeed.

My parents were totally judgment free, I could go to them with anything and I'm so thankful for that.

They were fairly strict but I was never smothered with rules and they respected me and DB which I'm appreciative for. They'd encourage us to reach our own decisions and then come to them with an argument as to why we'd thought XYZ would be a good idea.

We were never showered in gifts because we went through periods of being extremely poor but they always took time out to teach us things. My mum and I would spend hours baking or doing cross stitch, my dad and I would spend time playing chess and learning languages.

I only hope I can be half the parents to my DS's that they were to me and my brother.

My parents were totally judgment free, I could go to them with anything and I'm so thankful for that.

YES.
I’ve also always tried to aim to reproduce that. I’m not sure I’m managing as well as they did 🥴🥴