To be losing my grip on reality?

[Sohardtochooseausername]

AIBU?

I am a single parent of an 8 year old. I have a managerial job in a bank. Before covid I probably spoke to about a hundred people every day - some in meetings, some just saying hi, some going for lunch, coffees etc. After work I’d hang out with the parents at hockey practice or go for a glass of wine with a friend. I was starting dating. I went to exercise classes.

During lockdown all that stopped obviously. I do all my work on zoom. I am on conference calls 6 or 7 hours a day. At the end of the day my only social opportunities seem to be other zoom things. Hardly any way to see anyone else.

When my dd was at home it was horrific balancing my job and her needs and I was so stressed I was desperate for some time on my own. Now I am at home all day on zoom by myself I feel like I am the loneliest human being in the world. Nothing really feels real any more. I don’t feel like I’m real.

Our work has said we are probably not going back till at least spring 2021. AIBU to say I don’t know how to cope with the lack of social contact? Does anyone feel the same? How are single people coping with endless days in their homes on video conferencing and no adult company at night?

With you. Widowed parent of two DCs. Super lonely. Things won’t always be this way, though goodness me, it feels like it, doesn’t it?

Agree. I’m away on a little break in Somerset organised last minute to get away from my house and have had to work very hard to be positive and enjoy myself, not really been very successful.

RandomMess for you too. It is difficult!

Little Hootie I could have written most of that. The burden of making everything ok for your kids is so intense sometimes. I was lucky to have parents helping out a bit but my family have all retreated now dd is at school because they are scared of the virus.

@tunnocksreturns2019

With you. Widowed parent of two DCs. Super lonely. Things won’t always be this way, though goodness me, it feels like it, doesn’t it?

hope so. Definitely feels it.

@oreshina

sometimes when I feel that way i just go and look round sainsburys, at the home stuff, clothing and offers...not very profound but it brings me back to a little bit of normal.

I go to TK Maxx. Always cheers me up!

Me too basically, how do we all chat?

Jeez I could have written your post. Single parent, at home on call after call.
Soul destroying. Went to the office three days last week and for beers with a colleague (DD with her dad) I was so happy it was unreal.
Are you far from London OP? Pm me if you want to meet up - maybe we should do a group meet-up?

I looked at gingerbread but there are no groups in my area. Then I joined a local single parent facebook group and got very odd vibes from a man on there so left.

I think feeling low amplifies every unsatisfying interaction. Like I've tried small talk at school gates. Literally get one word answers then they move away to talk to someone they know better. I wonder if people worry I'm going to start expecting them to help if they are too friendly - like feeding a stray cat!

@OhamIreally

Jeez I could have written your post. Single parent, at home on call after call. Soul destroying. Went to the office three days last week and for beers with a colleague (DD with her dad) I was so happy it was unreal. Are you far from London OP? Pm me if you want to meet up - maybe we should do a group meet-up?

Oh wow, that sounds like bliss! It’s definitely the all day zoom that’s destroying me most.

I’m unfortunately up north. I’m missing my monthly trips to the London office! But maybe meet ups are the way forward. I think I’ll look for something real and regular on the day my dd is with her dad. If you’re moving back into the office hopefully that helps you

Little Hootie yeah I think I’d rather be in a group about something fun like roller skating or clay pigeons than about something not fun like being a single parent. I can imagine that some people would see it as an opportunity to find a new partner or prey upon the vulnerable

I know about trying to make friends at school and things. Sometimes I think I have a “desperate” badge on which scares people.