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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I finally decided enough was enough, and I feel liberated

6 replies

bluedonuts · 10/09/2020 19:55

I have written here about my MIL before.

She has put me down, shouted at me, criticised me constantly since becoming a mum 5 months ago. She comments on what I eat, on my sleep, that I’m not working hard enough, that I’m not a parent, that I wouldn’t cope without DP, she has imitated me in front of the whole family, told me I shouldn’t be on my mental health medication, constantly slags me off to DP, has called me toxic, that she feels sorry for my son having to grow up with me, told her daughters and other DIL to delete me from social media and then told me it was because they wanted to, I’ve put up with it over and over again. Visited her with DP and DS. Tried to be friendly and nice and allowed her to make me feel like the absolute worst parent in the world. He’s 5 months old. I’m working full-time hours in the evening after looking after DS all day. I am keeping a roof over our heads.

I finally decided enough was enough four days ago.

She started texting DP manipulative things because he was ignoring her texts.

He then got a message from his nan, saying his mum has told her that he is only working part time hours because I can’t manage without him. That he’s working and looking after the baby because I can’t do it without him. I am the one working all the hours. I am the one paying everything. I am the one getting up with DS. I am the one he lights up when he sees. Everyone has told me I’m an amazing mum but to her I’m not.

DP’s dad, who split up with her 15 years ago, also received a call from her, saying she’s worried about DP and his mental health because he’s with me.

I snapped. DP wasn’t standing up for me at all. I said I couldn’t do it anymore. If he thought I was controlling he could leave, because I am past the point of wanting to deal with this anymore.

He finally went to his mum’s on his own accord knowing I couldn’t take it anymore.

He said everything he thought, that he was sick of how she was treating me, that she is bullying me, and that he isn’t standing for it anymore. She kept saying I had forced him to say this. She eventually gave up and straight up told him she just does not like me at all. He said that I will not be going to her house again. I had told him that if he wanted to go still, then that’s fine but I just can’t. But he told her that he is not bringing our son there without me.

She just walked away.

It’s been two days and I feel lighter knowing that it’s done. Regardless of what DP does in the future, I finally put my boundaries in place and said enough was enough.

It was ruining me.

Since, I’ve realised that I am a great mum, that I love my DS and that I can’t have someone treating me like this - whether it’s ‘family or not’.

I am so relieved I never have to see her again.

OP posts:
Curiosity101 · 10/09/2020 20:01

Well done OP and OPs DP. Wishing you all the best for the future. Smile

JustMeAndMyTins · 10/09/2020 20:28

Well done, you! I read you other thread and this is so good to see!

TreadLightly3 · 10/09/2020 20:34

Yaaay!!! Well done you!!! You sound like an AMAZING mum I’m so glad your DP finally came through for you 👍👍👍

lovelemoncurd · 10/09/2020 20:37

What an absolute horror she sounds. Don't let that toxic woman near your family!

Namechange880 · 10/09/2020 20:37

Well done OP!!! Thrilled for you. Me and partners story is so similar to yours it’s ridiculous, I had all that too and when my OH snapped of course I had ‘put him up to it’ we are six years later, stronger than ever, have another child and haven’t seen her since!!

So liberating!! Enjoy your baby you awesome mummy xx

Onlymeandthedognow · 10/09/2020 20:50

Flowers for you, DP - and Wine
Well Done!!!
You are worth so much more than that horrible woman... enjoy your baby!! X

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