AIBU to still hold this wedding reception?

[Temporary99]

I’m due to get married in 2 weeks’ time. We’ve got 30 of us in total and this includes 10 older relatives attending, so safety is very important to us.

The plan was to have a church ceremony and then a reception in my in-laws garden. We’ve taken the rules very seriously and have done a full covid risk assessment for the venue in line with the ones for businesses. It’s a big garden so we can easily spread the tables out with 2m in between, we’ve got hand sanitiser for every table, staff serving the food, one toilet per ten people, paper towels for drying hands.

With the new rules in place we’re wondering if this would be breaking the law? They’ve said the rules don’t apply to wedding receptions but a friend of mine has said they’re not allowed in private homes. All we can see is that it says they have to be in a “Covid secure venue”. We’re very confident that our venue is covid secure and have the paperwork to prove it, but don’t want to get into trouble or risk the police turning up.

The only alternative would be the one restaurant in my in-laws village, which is much smaller than my in-laws garden and is all indoors, so we think this would be less secure.

AIBU?

The problem is that it has to be an official venue - Restaurant, pub, hotel etc not somebody's private garden. You really are choosing to interpret this as you want.
Yes you may be making your private garden covid secure, yes you may be happy for the council to come round and look at your risk assessment but they have not got the time or inclination to do this for every person who wants to hold a private party in their garden! If you are at a Covid secure venue staff will remind people about distances, things will be in place, gentle words can be given that just do not apply in a private garden.
You might well be a responsible adult who is perfectly capable of following Covid secure guidelines to organise your wedding reception, but rules have to be created in this pandemic situation that create difficulties for lots and lots of people. You can still have your wedding, you can still have your reception - something that you could not have done back in lockdown days - but you cannot hold your reception in the private garden of your inlaws. It really is that simple I'm afraid.

It's to do with money from what I can gather
To expand upon your point it's to do with us being able to only 'afford' a certain amount of transmission and we have to prioritise keeping a functioning economy, health system and education system
We have to prioritise the basics, that's why socialising is being restricted,
socialising is important of course but think about it in terms of Maslow's hierarchy of needs...we have to have the fundamental things functioning

Wedding receptions (not just ceremonies) are allowed for up to 30 people but not in a private garden - only in commercial Covid secure premises. And only for a sit-down meal. So yours would be compliant in most ways but the fact it's in a private garden would rule it out.

You can’t blame the rule of 6 announcement. Your reception plans were not within the regs even prior to this.

Can you try and book a local venue op?
You aren’t allow 30 people in your own home/garden.

@JemimaTiggywinkle

I would just go for it... you’re being as safe as you can. And much safer than taking your 30 guests to a restaurant (which would be legal).

Unless you have really awful neighbours, it’s very unlikely the police would turn up. And even if they did, they would just have to “explain” why it’s not allowed before they fined you etc.
I don’t know how much the fine is, but you might just consider it an additional wedding expense if it came to it.

We don’t get to pick and choose which laws to obey, even if we think our own “rules” are superior.

I am honestly not one for mask shaming and reporting people and in fact I am mainly on the side of thinking we need to try to get back to normal. But if a neighbour reported this, considering the steep uptick in cases lately, I would think they would be fully justified in reporting it.

Nobody wants the police breaking up their wedding reception, better to stick to the rules and have a legal one.

The government guidelines have “must” and “should” rules. I can’t see anywhere that not following the “should” rules is actually breaking the law.

For example the new rule about not meeting in groups of more than 6 (apart from the exceptions) is a must and that will become law.

All the (current) guidelines about wedding ceremonies AND receptions talks about it should be a covid secure venue. Not must.

So while it’s clearly not being advised - I can’t see where it’s breaking the law, might get broken up by police, guests might get fined etc?

Obviously it’s possible they might update that when they issue the full guidelines on the new rules, but it sounds like weddings can stay as they are - should not must?

People really can't read can they! Yes ceremony AND reception can take place. Not just the ceremony. It's in the bloody screen grab!

However OP I'm afraid it has to be a venue not in a private garden. Good luck finding one. What a nightmare!

Weddings are exempt but receptions aren't.

I feel for anyone trying to organise a wedding right now. It definitely can be done I’m sure a restaurant or similar will be able to sort something. Will cross my fingers for you.

Do what manolin says, invite Dominick Cummings and hold your nose.

It's ridiculous that so much restriction has to be placed on events that are being properly risk-assessed, so unfair for you too. Hold and illegal rave and you won't get fined but, a wedding reception? Not a chance!

This is why many are no longer listening.

If I were in your shoes OP, I'd take the risk of a fine - it's your special day and all the safety measures that can be put in place, have been. If the venue are okay with it then I'd go ahead. Maybe all wear trainers so that you can claim 'exercise'? Jump up from the tables every hour to do your 250 steps?

Madness!

Hope you have a great day in spite of these despots.

I read the "covid secure" thing for weddings, but I assumed that was just for the ceremony, not a reception afterwards.

Do not do it, if the police were called (by a neighbour for instance) they would have to, at least, break up the reception and that would be awful

I have nothing useful to add but I'm so sorry you are facing this hassle. Whatever happens, remember that your friends and family only want to be happy for you - they're not going to fuss too much, so long as they're fed and watered! Enjoy your day, whatever form it takes.

Whilst I agree with you, OP, that your set up sounds potentially more 'covid secure' than a lot of official venues, you must see that if they allowed private homes to become venues for those purposes it would lead to every Tom, Dick and Harry buying a few hand sanitisers, spacing chairs out and claiming there home is 'covid secure' so they can hold gatherings of more than six people.

In reality, the covid security of private homes would be impossible to police. Venues have the threat of revocation of licence so more to lose.

Weddings up to 30 are allowed on covid secure premises. I don t believe family gardens fall under covid secure premises so you would be breaking the law

What would you do if it rained on your tables set out in the garden?

I'm sorry I have to point out as well that is you arent in a registered restaurant etc. Then the staff you mention serving food count towards your 30 guests in the same way that a photographer, you and your husband would. Its 30 bodies not 30 guests which isn't clear

And I feel your pain. Weve just cancelled our wedding for the second time this year

Hi @Temporary99 I am wedding florist and having this exact issue with one of my booked events. It is definitely against the regulations - and has been before this new change.
If you could find a commercial venue with availability then it could go ahead with a sit down meal (served at the table, no buffet etc).
I totally understand what you mean about you following the commercial Covid secure guidelines and bet it would be a lot safer than some restaurants/bars but the fact is the family home is not a commercial venue. Venues are registered with councils, have regular inspections and are licensed to hold large events. They also get HUGE fines for any breaches of Covid regulations.
Do you have any suppliers lined up to work with you? Caterers, florists, make up/hair? As I would imagine they would be problematic too. I won't work for any event (private or commercial) that is over the allowed numbers. Simply because of my liability there, my insurance would not cover me if anything happened and also my reputation as a professional.
It is so sad for you and I completely understand your frustration, but would you rather push ahead with an illegal event, worrying if you might get caught - or take the hit and hire a commercial space and enjoy the last few weeks of planning your day - after I imagine months or stress and worry....

@Temporary99

Yes and we thought we had made our venue covid secure. We couldn’t see anywhere it saying that only commercial venues could be secure

The point is, you can't make it COVID secure because you can't get it signed off by an inspector as being so.

From Monday, you'll only be allowed meetings of up to six people anyway.

@Temporary99 just do it. You've already said you can't see anywhere that says it's illegal. People on mumsnet aren't the experts on this. Weddings can go ahead

"Covid secure" is an official status for commercial buildings, not private dwellings/gardens. There is no way to make your private garden "Covid secure" in the official sense to meet the requirements within the law

Flowers makes a good point you aren't just breaking the law you are asking others to do so like the staff serving.

OP, I'm so sorry for you

Of course there's no actual logic to this. The government have fucked this up like pegging at a swinging party.

I think we all knew that months ago when fucking Cummings tested his eyesight on a drive to Barnard Castle when we were in lockdown.