To worry about DS 16 months

[ThatsNotMyCherry]

I’ve just received a 16 month questionnaire from the health visitor and my DS can hardly do anything on it. He’s a late walker (he cruises and can walk with holding one hand for support) and also a late talker. I wasn’t really worried as he crawled late and he babbles a lot in his own language. My sister was a late walker and my brother in law was a late talker so both my mum and MIL have been reassuring about it. DS is very active and social so I wasn’t concerned, however it seems from the questionnaire that he should be able to understand more, imitate more and follow instructions. Some examples include having a few words (he has 0 words); pointing at things they want (he will just moan or cry), finding an object you asked for (ignores me), throwing a ball forward (he will drop it or push it and chase it), stacking toys (he just rearranges them), feed himself with spoon (he refuses).

Should I be worried?

It’s the ASQ questionnaire by the way

Is this his 12 month review?

Usually they only do 12 months and then 2 years?

Doesnt sound like that much to worry about really.

Does he make a noise like "mama" or "dada/baba" at all? Like when upset?

First words can be really unclear. I thought my son had none, my sister came to visit and was better able to understand his efforts . He was thrilled that she understood him and it opened up his language much more. It's also worth getting GP to check as little ones can often have fluid in their ears leftover from colds etc & it can slow down speech development.

Does he play peekaboo/clap or wave?

Ps cruising with one hand at 16m is normal/fine

Lots if the things like feeding themselves or trying to help dress themselves in my experience girls do quite early but boys often dont!!

The 12th month review didn’t happen due to Covid so we are doing a 16 month one.

He does make sounds like dada mama and recently noooo (which we say a lot to him) but I don’t think it’s in context. We haven’t taught him dada and mama as we would like him to use our heritage language words for us.

He does clap and loves peekaboo.

Ah ok but does he use your heritage language words/make a similar sound for you/your partner?

Also does he communicate in anyway with you. The reason they ask about pointing is its communication, does he show you things he's excited by or in some way tell you what he wants? Like reaching towards a cup when he wants a drink, or clapping happily when you sing a song

Tbh tho at 16m they all do different stuff really, my nephew was a slow walker and is v sporty now, a friends son was slow on seemingly everything except eating her out of house and home, hes a perfectly bright normal lad

Haha my son sounds like your friends son. He just loves to eat!
He doesn’t use our language words even though we have tried to get him to repeat them after us multiple times. Our heritage language words for mum and dad can be shortened to ma and ba which are both sounds he makes frequently but it doesn’t seem like he’s using them to call us if that makes sense.
His way of communicating is to babble a lot in his own language and he’s very expressive but he doesn’t really communicate in any other way. He will try to get whatever he wants if it’s within his reach otherwise he will stand near it and whinge eg if he sees some food he wants.

I wouldnt worry about it just enjoy your little boy. Clapping and peekaboo are good :) if he still isnt saying any single words by 21 or 22m always worth getting ears checked!

Sometimes if you chat to the HVs they can suggest little games you can play to encourage your little one to do things like point.

And remember development isnt linear - your baby is blissfully unaware of the checklist! It's really common for them to be doing none of it one week, you look back a fortnight later and suddenly they are going loads of it.

I was given a questionnaire by my health visitor. It was awful, Dd couldn't do any of it tbh at nearly 2.

She is 5 now and still delayed in some areas but doing great.

I'm not sure where health visitors get these questionnaires from. The ones I had looked like they were printed from an American site.

Our Health visitor referred us to portage. The portage use a completely different questionnaire which seemed much more legit - from the early years inclusion team. It was pages and pages but it was so thorough and covered everything and I find that although my daughter was delayed in some areas she excelled in others.

The questionnaire we were given by health visitor was way too vague and made me feel my daughter couldn't do anything!

He's 16 months I wouldn't be too worried tbh.

Thanks, I haven’t really worried so far as I know children develop at their own pace. Seeing the questionnaire really worried me though as it seems like he should be doing a lot more than I expected.

@bumble79 if you don’t mind sharing in what way does your child have delays at 5?

We did the same questionnaire with our twins at about the same age and they could hardly do any of it either, I was really worried (HV wasn't). They're now 20 months and within a couple months after they started doing it all so hang in there 👍

OP I wouldn't worry. These questionnaires are horrible with how they make everyone feel nervous! I think I've felt a bit shocked at every single one but in the end the DCs have developed just fine and usually achieved these things shortly after the HV meeting.

OP I can remember sitting with DS after the HV sent a similar questionnaire desperately trying to get him to stack blocks so he could at least do something on the questionnaire before his review appointment and ending up in tears. I think they blythely give these things out with no thought for how distressing it is when a child isn't ticking the boxes - and no support in our case either.
I don't think the questionnaire the best way of judging if there are any issues - does your DS go to nursery or childcare at all and if so what do they say? Could you talk to the HV and see if they could observe your DS (perhaps allowing longer than the 16 month check time as often these are quite tight).
In my DS's case, we're awaiting paeds input re possible sensory issues (which now comes under autism spectrum diagnosis or so we've been told) - he has issues round food and toileting, and some co-ordination difficulties which make some things like dressing difficult. BUT - he's now five, doing well back at school, and no problems with communication, playing and making friends really well. I'm not telling you this to suggest your DS is the same, just that in my experience the questionnaire didn't indicate things that have turned out issues, and really worried me about things that have been no problem, like speech and communication, so I didn't find them helpful, if you do have concerns much better to get real advice and input as soon as possible.

Thank you for the reassurance. Because of lockdown and me being on mat leave with my 2nd he isn’t in w childcare setting. My gut feeling is that’s he’s fine. DH niece is autistic and I could tell before she was even diagnosed. I think (and hope) my gut is right about my son