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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this make you uncomfortable?

118 replies

GoneAndDoneItAgainAgain · 10/09/2020 07:16

Dc1’s attend a C of E school. It’s the only school in town so no real choice about it. We’re not a religious family, 8yo dc1 has said he doesn’t believe in God, 4yo dc2 hasn’t really thought about it. I’m happy for them to attend to the religion based assemblies, if dc have any questions about it I don’t say it’s untrue or anything, just ‘what do you think?’

Anyway, yesterday dc2 had a class assembly as they’re not currently doing while school assemblies. They were talking about prayers and how to talk to God. They were told to shut their eyes, hold their hands together and think about God and all the wonderful things he did for them. Then the lights came on even though the teacher was no nowhere near the light switch. Teacher told them the lights came on because God had heard them praying and wanted them to know he loved them. Children all amazed and coming home super excited about proof that God exists and listens to them.

Now, obviously I don’t know if this is exactly what happened. There have been messages between the parents on our WhatsApp group where we’re all just thinking WTF and that it’s really inappropriate. But, it could have been a power cut or something, or lights randomly just came on and reached on the spot decided to say it was God. Or maybe she didn’t say it was God at all and the kids just decided that’s what it was.

If it was as DC report though is that unreasonable behaviour by the teacher? It a religious school so obviously they will learn about God, I just wasn’t expecting the teacher to be faking his existence!

OP posts:
VanillaSpiceCandle · 10/09/2020 09:13

YABU you’ve chosen to send your child to a religious school so need to accept they will be taught that religion. It would be awful to complain about the teacher doing her job as she is supposed to be. And definitely don’t be telling your child it’s all a load of rubbish etc it would be really rude and intolerant.

Whatwouldscullydo · 10/09/2020 09:19

You can teach religion without resorting to fraudulent demonstrations surely?

awesomeaircraft · 10/09/2020 09:24

I believe and I am not comfortable with this.

Belief does not need trickery. It is after all a leap of faith!

PlanDeRaccordement · 10/09/2020 09:27

@Whatwouldscullydo

You can teach religion without resorting to fraudulent demonstrations surely?
That’s a big assumption on your part. There’s no evidence it was staged.
aSofaNearYou · 10/09/2020 09:29

YANBU. A religious school can teach kids about religion all they want, but this is indoctrination in my opinion, if the kids are being honest.

RaininSummer · 10/09/2020 09:29

Whether you believe or not I wouldn't class that as part of teaching about God. Just misleading lies really. I would be pretty annoyed about that if the outcome was children babbling about that being proof of a god.

MsTSwift · 10/09/2020 09:29

That’s quite shocking.

My sisters primary teacher was a faith healer and dangled her necklace over my sisters shoulder after a playground collision The necklace rotated so my sister was deemed fine and told to stop moaning. Actually was quite a nasty broken collarbone 🙄

custardbear · 10/09/2020 09:31

@contrmary - the point is that there's no other schools and this is often the case, which is why religious schools should be banned - if a teacher really believes that it's god listening and sending a 'sign' then we've got big problems within schools if they're feeding this bollocks to our children

Whatwouldscullydo · 10/09/2020 09:33

That’s a big assumption on your part. There’s no evidence it was staged

Doesn't matter does it. The outcome was the same.

Stick to facts. "In the bible it says" or " i read you the story if icarus what do you think it meant"

Instead now next time there's a power cut little Jordan will think god hates him cos he broke jacobs rubber...

custardbear · 10/09/2020 09:36

@MsTSwift - that's awful! Stupid woman!

custardbear · 10/09/2020 09:39

@VanillaSpiceCandle - did you read the OP- there's no choice of school, which is exactly my point - religious schools should be banned - school is for learning facts and theories, not to be indoctrinated and lied to.

If you were religious and your child went to a school taught by an atheist, how would you feel if your child's teacher said there's no such thing as god and used some sort of lie to 'prove' it?!

BabyLlamaZen · 10/09/2020 09:40

It genuinely depends on what happened. If it was a coincidence then sure of course they will say it's god. If the ta is sat at the back switching the light then Hmm

PlanDeRaccordement · 10/09/2020 09:40

@Whatwouldscullydo

That’s a big assumption on your part. There’s no evidence it was staged

Doesn't matter does it. The outcome was the same.

Stick to facts. "In the bible it says" or " i read you the story if icarus what do you think it meant"

Instead now next time there's a power cut little Jordan will think god hates him cos he broke jacobs rubber...

Intentions/means don’t matter? First time I’ve ever heard that one. Are you an end justifies the means person then?
HiddenInTheAttic · 10/09/2020 09:43

I would be very uncomfortable with this and complain. If true, this wasn’t teaching about faith, it was teaching dishonesty.

PlanDeRaccordement · 10/09/2020 09:43

[quote custardbear]@VanillaSpiceCandle - did you read the OP- there's no choice of school, which is exactly my point - religious schools should be banned - school is for learning facts and theories, not to be indoctrinated and lied to.

If you were religious and your child went to a school taught by an atheist, how would you feel if your child's teacher said there's no such thing as god and used some sort of lie to 'prove' it?! [/quote]
Not sure that is technically true. Wouldn’t the council have to transport under 16s to a state school in the next town if the parents had objections to the C of E school on religious grounds? Plus there is always the option to home school.
There are usually other choices. May not be easy or convenient, but there is rarely no choice.

DonnaQuixotedelaManchester · 10/09/2020 09:43

It doesn’t sound like the stuff Christians really go for, tbh. It’s much more abstract than that.

Whatwouldscullydo · 10/09/2020 09:48

The intentions were clearly to mislead the class.

They could have ignored the lights
They could have told the truth- that the caretaker was fixing something.

Instead they chose use the opportunity to lie and implant outrageous ideas and potentially fear into the kinds of small children.

Its a far cry from making a bible story accessible to everyone by exploring what kessage they can take from it or what lessons can they learn from it etc

custardbear · 10/09/2020 09:49

@PlanDeRaccordement - education is the law in The UK. Local schools, especially where there's no choice should absolutely not have only a religious school in walking distance and catchment, sending them by bus or home education is ridiculous! First choice should always be non- religion linked, and if the brainwashing church want a school they should solely pay for it and have attendance a choice only, next to a non faith school - again back to my point - de-couple religion (except theory) from schools. The only reason they have them is to indoctrinate kids at an early age - brainwash whilst they're young by sneaking in through education - it's abysmal

PlateTectonics · 10/09/2020 09:50

Personally I wouldn't complain, but I would say to DC1 "it definitely wasn't god who turned the lights on. Some people believe in God and some people don't, but even people who believe know that he doesn't do things like that".

aSofaNearYou · 10/09/2020 09:50

I never understand why other people's beliefs causes so much anxiety in others. Nobody says Father Christmas is doing untold damage - except perhaps fundamental Christians, ironically.

Anyone who knows absolutely anything about history knows that religion has always had a fundamental part in law and societal standards. Wars have literally been fought over it, as others have said, but as well as that in many, many cultures religion has actively and explicitly shaped the actual running of the country.

It is absolutely impossible to rationally deny that religion has had a far more wide reaching and serious impact on society than Father Christmas has.

OfTheNight · 10/09/2020 09:52

My little boy goes to a Catholic school, I’m an atheist. I accept that they teach him about God and Jesus, they have attended church in the past at Easter. They also pray at school, which I’m fine with. At home we have a balanced approach, so we’re happy to talk about religion and other people’s beliefs and concentrate more on being a good person. As such I have no issues with the religious aspects of the school, and it is an excellent school where he’s very happy. Obviously I knew there would be elements of religious practice taught in school and I’ve always been fine with that.

But the trick with the lights is a step too far - it’s fraud, it’s almost gaslighting the children and a horrible manipulation of the children’s beliefs. I’d be livid! There’s no need to try to indoctrinate them with lies. I’d certainly complain.

custardbear · 10/09/2020 09:52

@PlateTectonics

'He' ... 🙄

Whatthebloodyell · 10/09/2020 09:54

I’m always interested to see in these threads how people say “you chose to send your child to a church school so tough luck”. Nationally 1 in 4 primary schools are church schools, the number is much higher in my area. And we all know that parents don’t really have complete free choice when it comes to school choice, so I don’t think ‘tough luck’ is really a fair response. I think it’s time that church and education were separated.

ivfbeenbusy · 10/09/2020 09:54

Highly doubt there is only one primary school in your entire town

It's a CofE school let them get on with it. Sure much worse goes on in other faith schools 🤷‍♀️

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 10/09/2020 09:58

My kids don't attend faith schools but sometimes, depending on what teacher they have that year, they will have god stuff rammed down their throat (it was the same when I was at that school, but I would have thought they would have moved on a bit by now) They go to church, they talk about God in assembly, the minister comes to the school. Ds1 never really mentioned it, but ds2 was a bit obsessed for a while and got quite annoyed when I told him I don't believe I'm god. I told him if he believed that was fine, but I didn't. I would have been a bit annoyed if the teacher had done something like this.