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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how much you spend on your kids Christmas presents

140 replies

Angelina82 · 09/09/2020 09:52

and what ages are they?
I probably usually spend around 200/250 on each of mine. As a single mum it’s a struggle though, and I’m starting to think that I should cut back on the amount I spend on the kids that have left home, are in full time work and have partners to spoil them at Christmas. WIBU to spend more on the two college attending kids I have at home than the other 3?

OP posts:
lachy · 09/09/2020 18:12

Not busting lot. £75 - 100 including a little stocking. DD is 4 and gets other presents from family and friends.

It's a decision that DH and I made, we didn't want to bring her up thinking that Christmas is about what Santa brought for you.

IdblowJonSnow · 09/09/2020 18:32

Maybe 150 max? We tend to buy things like new bikes during the summer months. They like bits and bob's. Expensive things arent on their radar yet really.

1FootInTheRave · 09/09/2020 18:38

4 kids, spend around 150 each. Give or take.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/09/2020 18:43

It doesn't matter what other people weekend op. Stop spending you don't have on adults. Don't spend money you don't have anyway but especially not on adults who are old enough to understand.

Work out how much you can afford to spend all together then apportion it how you see fit

CatsArePeopleToo · 09/09/2020 18:54

Under a £100. May sound stingy BUT they also have winter birthdays, AND they still get things like gadgets or bikes at other times of the year. For Xmas they get toys, games, books, dvds, clothes...

WaltzForDebbie · 09/09/2020 18:55

It depends if they need something. If they don't, it's around £80 each including stockings. But this year my son has asked for a new phone because his old one doesn't have enough storage for games so his will be a bit more.

I can't see the point of spending loads for the sake of it. Plus we can't afford it.

Original poster
Angelina82 · 10/09/2020 07:10

Every year I warn the kids that I’m going to cut down and the kids are fine with that, but as Christmas draws nearer it’s like I panic that they haven’t got enough and I buy more. It’s like I just can’t help myself. I think it stems from having a large family and so being used to having loads under the Christmas tree. Seeing it with so little under it makes me feel a bit sad.

OP posts:
lovemelongtime · 10/09/2020 07:16

Wow! I am mindblown at this thread. Do your kids really need so much"stuff".? What kind of world are we living in where people "aim to spend £350" on each child. Amazes me.

Morgan12 · 10/09/2020 07:20

DS1 aged 8 - £800
DS2 aged 2 - £300-400

whirlwindwallaby · 10/09/2020 07:23

@Angelina82

Every year I warn the kids that I’m going to cut down and the kids are fine with that, but as Christmas draws nearer it’s like I panic that they haven’t got enough and I buy more. It’s like I just can’t help myself. I think it stems from having a large family and so being used to having loads under the Christmas tree. Seeing it with so little under it makes me feel a bit sad.
Put the presents elsewhere, such as in stockings if the tree looks too big compared to the number of presents?
EggyPegg · 10/09/2020 07:23

We usually budget around £100/£120 per child for main gifts and then some stocking fillers on top. So somewhere around £150 all in.
DH is a high earner and we could afford more, but the question for us is do they want or need it? It's just more stuff in the house.
Last year they each wanted a huge Lego set each (different sets). They were in the region of £80 each, so they had those as their main gifts, another huge set (that my DH wanted for them) to share at about £90 (was heavily discounted at that price too) and then they got another one or two things from us, plus some gifts from family.

We don't have huge piles of gifts here, we consider what we buy carefully. I grew up in an environment of 'its nice to have lots to open', but the reality is that most of them were wrapped for the sake of it and disappointing once open. So huge piles of gifts aren't necessarily the most important thing.

I appreciate that as my DC get older, the costs will go up as they want tech (they're 7 and 9 currently).

I didn't have that kind of money spent on me growing up, and I certainly wouldn't have expected it once I left home.

KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 10/09/2020 07:25

Birthday this year around £400 but main present is over £300 (educational and long lasting not a console/plastic tat for those judging) , Christmas probably £250 ish if I'm honest once stocking etc is included, but we can comfortably afford that and DS is an only. I wouldn't be spending anything that made us struggle.

whirlwindwallaby · 10/09/2020 07:25

I have all presents together, including ones to go to relatives houses, so it looks like more than if I just had ones for my DS.

sitckmansladylove · 10/09/2020 07:28

About 150 max per child
If i were you with adult children i would spend about 50-80 max.
The ones living at home a bit more.

Splendidseptember · 10/09/2020 07:28

We've always just saved what we can throughout the year then buy according to what we have saved and what they like that year. No cc no excessive £. I do usually go slightly over what we saved but it's wonderful to have a small fund.

I used to save 20 a month towards Xmas. Now I put more towards it as does fh.

EggyPegg · 10/09/2020 07:30

Also, my DC have things throughout the year if they need it, so we aren't spending more at Christmas on big ticket items as some people might do. For example, they needed new scooters recently as both of theirs were no longer fit for purpose. DS2s cost £40 and DS1s cost £100. Both stunt scooters, but DS1 actually does stunts so his requirements are different. Had we waited until Christmas, our budget would have gone up, as would the size of the pile. But that wasn't an option (DS1s had become unrideable).

CherryPavlova · 10/09/2020 07:43

I think buying huge amounts for children when you can’t really afford it is silly. The more you buy the greater the expectations.
Christmas isn’t (or shouldn’t be) about who gets the biggest pile of wrapped up tat. I’m always bemused that people buy so much when not believing- it’s literally reduced to an excuse to buy things. That’s a not very nice message to be rearing children on.

We spent a relatively small amount when they were younger. We bought things they needed anyway - stockings had socks and pyjamas, colouring pencils and hair bobbles. Presents tended to be things they needed for activities or school. For pre schoolers we probably spent about £25 on their main present, by today’s costs.

We spent more as they got older because the things they needed got more expensive. Laptops, sports equipment etc. Now they’ve got used to quite expensive presents and stockings full of scent, boots, makeup and jewellery but we’re beginning to think as we approach retirement and they are all earning well that they don’t need us to provide so much.

Original poster
Angelina82 · 10/09/2020 07:54

Put the presents elsewhere, such as in stockings if the tree looks too big compared to the number of presents?

I do stockings as well Blush, though I do include what I put in them in my rough estimation of what I spend.

OP posts:
CatsArePeopleToo · 11/09/2020 06:00

I also think leaving bigger purchases until Xmas, when many other expenses pile up - is very silly.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 11/09/2020 06:35

We spent more as they got older because the things they needed got more expensive. Laptops, sports equipment etc. Now they’ve got used to quite expensive presents and stockings full of scent, boots, makeup and jewellery but we’re beginning to think as we approach retirement and they are all earning well that they don’t need us to provide so much.

My parents bought my sister and expensive things we needed for Christmas like you say you did for your children. I don’t expect those things now. I’m an adult. Sometimes, if it’s a luxury item but I’d quite like it, my parents will tell me they’ll put some money towards it as part of my Christmas present. I’m more than happy with that and don’t expect it.

Do your children actually expect big presents? Do they demand them and look disappointed on Christmas Day when they don’t get them? Or do you now have an expectation of yourself to buy the big items? I know I struggle with my own expectations when buying presents for people. I always want to buy them exactly what they want!

user1487194234 · 11/09/2020 06:46

About £300 each

JMG1234 · 11/09/2020 06:56

Two kids, I'm guessing £400-700 each. They're both teenagers so it has risen over time. And that's using the camelcamelcamel Amazon price tracker, looking at Black Friday deals, eBay and trying to use voucher codes.
It does depend on the year. If they need new rugby boots or hockey astros, those often wait until Christmas as do clothes or other sports equipment. I hate clutter and waste so I try to buy practical things they will use.
We are lucky enough to be well off and my husband likes to treat the kids at Christmas. We don't really buy presents for each other. That said, it's a lot of money and I appreciate that it must be hard for others who are financially constrained and Christmas is about a lot more than a pile of presents.

SqidgeBum · 11/09/2020 06:58

Mine are very little; DD1 will be 2 this year, and DD2 will be 7 weeks.

For DD1, maybe £70. One 'big' present, then books, colours, stickers, stocking fillers.
For DD2, about £30. Just a token gift from santa that DD1 can open for her.

Bickles · 11/09/2020 07:00

This year will be more than normal. Just one DS8. He wants a big expensive Lego set and we want to get it for him. We can afford it though.

MaryShelley1818 · 11/09/2020 07:21

I've no idea! DS (will be 3 at Christmas) has a December Birthday so I sort his Birthday presents and DH sorts his Christmas presents.

I've spent about £150 for his Birthday which sounds ridiculous for a 3year old but is only a childs camera, some books, Toy Story Potato Heads and then 3 small Lego sets so I don't think loads. DH will have spent a little more probably as he's not as organised as me and always forgets what he's bought!
Our 2nd baby is due in January so we'll probably do the same and I'll do Birthday and DH can do Christmas. Will need to spend a little less next year on Mat Leave though.