Send my love v love you/them

[Flappingflamingo]

Just looking for opinions.
If for example you told your partner to send your love to your child would you find that impersonal and formal or would tell them I love them too be too much?

That’s an odd question. You can say what you choose to your child and only you will know what your relationship is like and what would be appropriate. Only you know how old the child is and that make make a difference too.

Totally depends on the relationship partner has with your child (assuming not their child)

Other way around but I send my love to my mums partner, I would never tell her to tell him I love him I really like him, but we have a friendly relationship not a parent/child relationship

My dad nearly died on Friday, doctors didn't think he would make it. He's made the most amazing progress, everyone is gobsmacked.
I can't see him as I'm not his next of kin, my stepmum is. I want to make it very clear I love my stepmum, she's amazing and has kept me up to date everyday. But apparently he has told her everday he loves her but has only said send flapping my love when I've said please tell him I love him.
I know I'm being unreasonable but I'm starting to feel it's all very formal and a bit pushed out. I can't explain it properly and I know it sounds messed up but I think all the emotions from the weekend are taking over

I suspect a lot of people, especially men, wouldn’t feel comfortable saying “tell x I love her” and would instead say “send her my love”, even ones who would say “love you” in person. Unless you have other reasons to think your dad doesn’t love you, I really wouldn’t interpret it like that.

Like I said it's not necessarily reasonable but when it's be reiterated a few times I'm not next of kin and can't see him it starts to hurt. I love my dad and am so unbelievably grateful he is still here... He even told one of my daughters love you, but not me

I’m really sorry OP I misread your post in my first response

I’m so sorry your dad is so ill is he normally open about his feelings or more reserved? I was in a similar position to you a few years ago and the things my dad and stepmum told me made me know how much he loved me, but he tended not to say it. But then my stepmum didn’t keep telling me about him saying he loves her, because there’s no need, so possibly a little insensitive of her, but she may not be thinking like that if it’s all been very sudden and upsetting.

I really hope you can speak to him soon and tell him you love him and that he says it to you as well

It's probably just a communication thing, she will be stressed, dealing with a lot of information, and having to keep everyone updated whilst remembering everything he has said.

You cant see him so you only have these messages you're getting to cling onto right now and are probably reading far too much into what you think is meant. It's totally natural to do this.

I hope your dad improves soon and you get to see him before long

I’m so sorry to hear your dad is ill

For what it’s worth my dad has never said “I love you” to me, so “send boo my love” is exactly the sort of thing he’d say. I know, without a shadow of a doubt that he loves me with all his heart and I’m sure that’s the same with your DDad

My DF would use long winded things like this, DM says it's because his parents and family were uptight not demonstrative. Once I got to my teens I'd just say love you dad and he'd say you too sweetheart (still does) , I don't think he means it less than I do.
I hope your dad makes a quick recovery and then you can see him face to face.

Thank you everyone, I know nobody intended for me to feel this way, especially my stepmum but unfortunately she doesn't hold back from what she thinks so doesn't always think before she speaks. If I said love you to my dad on the phone, he'd say it back.
I know he's still confused after everything but I think because I'm not hearing it directly from him, it feels worse.
Sorry, I know I'm not making much sense, it's been a very long few days and I'm really struggling with it all

I’m so sorry OP. That sounds so hard. Couldn’t you phone your stepmums phone while she is there and be allowed to speak to him? I’m sure it’s not intentionally being done to hurt you but I understand why it would have that affect

Oh you poor thing 💐 Honestly that sounds like a miscommunication to me. It sounds as though you love each other very much. I hope you get to speak to him directly really soon.