Perfect job vs. Maternity leave

[022828MAN]

Not really an AIBU, so apologies, but I'd really appreciate any help / insight to make this decision...

In a nutshell I have just commenced maternity leave, DC2 due in 3 weeks. I was planning to take a year off work and EBF if possible. I did this with DC1 and couldn't have imagined doing it differently. I loved the time I had with her and for me was really important.

However - I have been given the opportunity to be seconded on to a 1 year training programme starting in January, for my dream job. I have enquired as to whether this can be deferred till after my mat leave, but it can't due to funding and restructuring of resources / management etc.

I now feel so torn between the mat leave that I so wanted and felt was essential, or my dream job, a years training fully paid, and then an instant promotion on completion of the course in a years time.

I know this is a total first world problem, and I am fortunate to even have to have these offers on the table, but I feel really upset that I have to choose between them. For me breastfeeding was a life saver (time/money/effort), and I guess I wouldn't be able to do that if I went back after 3 months (the thought of having to constantly pump at work seems way too much stress)?

Leaving DC after 3 months when they're still so tiny upsets me too.
I'm also just annoyed that it's rarely the fathers that have to make these kind of career sacrifices.

Is anyone willing to share positive stories of going back to work that early? Will I regret it? Will I resent not taking the work opportunity?
Please be brutally honest, as I only have 2 days to make my decision and submit my application!

Can dh/dp take the rest of your maternity leave?

Also, so as not to dripfeed, I know parental leave can be split, but DH started a new job 3 months ago which was a 12 month contract with a view to extend to permanent if proven to be an effective role. So him taking the leave in my place isn't really an option at this time. So DC would be in nursery at 3 months.

@Waveysnail

Can dh/dp take the rest of your maternity leave?

Sorry, x post!

I went back to work FT when ds was 16 weeks, bf exclusively till he was 6 months, and continued to bf till he was 2. For the first 10 weeks I pumped 3 times a day (and tbh it was nice to have a little break - now I would take my phone and do emails though), then twice a day till he was 9 months I think, then once a day till he was a year. After that I just fed before and after work.
I don't have any regrets. DS turned out to be very well attached, settled into nursery perfectly, and is now a (mostly) very nice teenager

I would go for the job if I were you. It sounds like a fantastic opportunity. I know it's not quite the same, but I went back to work when both of my children were 6 months, for financial reasons. It worked really well and they have grown up to be happy and well-attached, and good at adjusting to change - a vital life skill!

Personally I had originally planned to breastfeed, but for health reasons was EFF by 3 months with my first and 2 weeks with my second, and I found formula-feeding very convenient. I found it just as easy to bond as when I was breastfeeding. The health benefits of breastfeeding certainly exist, but exist on a population level, with lots of confounding factors in the data.

I really would go for the job in your shoes.

I think you need to figure out how YOU'LL feel having such different starts? It isn't that one is right and one is wrong, it's that it's so different.