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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To desparately want to quit my job.

16 replies

Asvan · 08/09/2020 01:18

Hi everyone,

It is 1am in the morning and I can't sleep. The thought of going back to work tomorrow is making me so anxious.

I work park time as an ETA at a local school. I've been there for 6 years and up until last year everything was fine. Then new management came in and everything changed. I've always worked with older children but from tomorrow I have to work in pre-school with two year olds (something which I have never wanted to do and on the odd occasion where I have done it, it's not been an enjoyable experience). I just prefer working with older children. Then to add insult to injury, my work hours have completely changed, which is going to make childcare really difficult for me. My husband is currently home so it's not much of an issue but when he gets back to work it is going to be a big problem.

I've just been left feeling so demoralised and I dont know what to do. I am well qualified (I have A Levels and a degree) but in the village where I live jobs are very hard to come by. Especially jobs that fit in around my childcare commitments. I really want to quit but can't bare the thought of not having a job. Financially we would be ok if I quit but I have always worked and I like being financially independent. I've tried to speak to the headteacher but he just doesn't seem to listen or care. He says he has to do what's best for the business. The worst thing is there are other people who I work with that could quite easily work in nursery and do the proposed hours but no, he's chosen to put me in that position.

I just don't know what do, I feel so lost and broken.

OP posts:

Alongcameacat · 08/09/2020 01:38

I think there are two parts to your post.

Regarding the part where you have now been asked to work with younger children YABU.
The role isn't specific to age brackets so while you can have a preference, you can't have an expectation that you get to work with older children only.

That said, provided there are enough staff, I can't really understand why managerment don't accommodate people as surely they work better when they enjoy the age group they are with but I imagine others prefer working with older children too.

Your hours should be in your employment contract. Have they asked you to come in earlier and/or leave later? I think you have to expect changes in the current pandemic.

I get the impression that your job was enjoyable and fitted in around your home life and that is no longer the case.
If you don't need to work and don't enjoy your job to the extent that you are having sleepless nights and suffering from anxiety, then resign. I know a teacher who did this for the same reasons as you listed but luckily got another job straight away.

In the current environment, be prepared to put up with change and disruption in other jobs too.

Original poster

Asvan · 08/09/2020 06:47

Hi,

Yes working with two year olds is something I've never had an interest in and it's something I never envisioned doing. I just dont know what management are thinking as they have put some staff with level 2/nursery qualifications with key stage 2 children and I've been put in nursery. Not to mention that while on the job I've gained years of training and experience with older children.

Also with regards to my work hours, I've been asked to stay until later which is going to cause me problems when my husband goes back to work. I have got three children at three separate schools and if I finish later I will have to arrange childcare for them. Worst thing is their schools will be finishing earlier than usual in the current climate.

I'm just feeling so deflated and demoralised. I've mentioned both these points to the head and the nursery manager but they have done nothing to reassure me.

OP posts:

Thingsdogetbetter · 08/09/2020 06:51

Can I suggest you look into online tutoring as a possible alternative. I think it's going to be a booming business and you can decide your own hours. You could even dip your toe in the water with things like SAT focused one to one or small groups alongside still continuing your ETA job for the short term. See if you like it - it's a definite talent to teach online. There are agencies you can sign up with. And free online courses on how to do it.

Perhaps expand to ESL with a Celta if you can afford the course (about a grand). I teach in an international school and it's going to be our biggest competition as students won't be flocking to the UK as they once did, but still want native speakers and online is the new expectation. Most students will be in Asia so morning UK time Zooms would be perfect. It's something I'm considering if intake doesn't increase in January as our numbers are obviously well done.

SnuggyBuggy · 08/09/2020 06:57

Could you speak to a careers advisor come up with a potential escape plan?

LilyLongJohn · 08/09/2020 07:01

I quit a job last year due to being monumentally unhappy, and it all worked out well in the end, I'm back doing a job I love now, so if you can afford it financially then do it.

Could you also look into possibly starting your own child minding business? You can pick and choose the ages you want to look after and work it around your own dc? It's a booming business near me and very lucrative (if you can deal with other people's kids that is)

eaglejulesk · 08/09/2020 07:34

I guess you have to ask yourself which is the most important to you - having a job, or being happy. Only you can decide. I took voluntary redundancy from an office I hated working in, and while I haven't been able to find another permanent job I am much happier, and people often comment on how good I look (and that's because I am happy). It's a tough decision I know, but if you are really unhappy I'm not sure that it is worth sticking at the job.

MXT835EKS · 08/09/2020 07:37

Ring your union, sounds like they've changed the t&cs of your contract without the asking you.

Requinblanc · 08/09/2020 07:38

I would quit because it sounds like it is affecting your physical and mental health.

Especially if you can do it financially, there is no reason to stick to a job you hate with unreasonable bosses.

I never understand employers who change work conditions without any kind of consultation or business reason. That's the best way to lose a good employee,

SnuggyBuggy · 08/09/2020 07:39

I think sometimes new managers like to change things for the sake of it to make it look like they've made an impact.

JoanJosephJim · 08/09/2020 07:44

What does your contract say about your hours?

For the LSAs in the school I volunteer in the hours are fixed basically so they will only pay for those hours and not a penny more.

Original poster

Asvan · 08/09/2020 09:19

My contracted hours are 18 hours a week and each year I've had different patterns of work, which I have been fine with as they have always been suitable around my family commitments.

I seriously did enjoy my job at up until now but that's no longer the case. I've seen a different side to people and for me it's made the work environment quite toxic. The fact that my experience, skills and preferences have been completely looked over has really hurt me. I feel like the head has his favourites and I'm I'm definitely not one of them.

The main problem for me is that I really dont know what I want to do with my life. To be completely honest, I'm done working in a school and would like to retrain for something completely different but as I said I live in an area where job and training g opportunities are hard to come by.

OP posts:

Iwonder08 · 08/09/2020 10:59

Get a grip and make a plan.
If you want to continue living in a small village and don't want to commute then either get on with your job or find alternative realistic opportunities in a different profession.
I don't understand how adult people can just give up their job and not work with no plans to find another source of income

Alongcameacat · 08/09/2020 11:09

I don't understand how adult people can just give up their job and not work with no plans to find another source of income

The OP has already stated she does not need to work for financial reasons. If her current salary is used to pay childcare expenses and has a further cost in upheaval to her established and happy family life, only she can decide if it is worth it.

Could you do tutoring OP?

Yesyoudoknowme · 08/09/2020 11:16

Why not go back to the head and tell him that you are not happy and if he isn't willing to compromise you will leave - and follow the threat up. Perhaps he doesn't realise that you are serious and are just 'having a moan' as we all do. I second a PP - look into childminding, if you find it difficult to find suitable childcare presumably others do too.

Original poster

Asvan · 08/09/2020 12:34

Hi,

Thanks for your replies.

I have never looked into tutoring but yes its definitely something I could consider. Where could I get some more information please?

As I said in a previous thread, I dont have to work but I want to work for mental stimulation and also because I like being financially independent. The fact that I've never known what career I want to ho into really doesn't help.

OP posts:

Alongcameacat · 08/09/2020 12:41

I have used websites where tutors create a short profile, availability and price. You can decide whether you want people to travel to your house or if you will travel to theirs. Others state the level they are confident tutoring.

It can be quite hard to find tutors. I usually breakdown by area first and then price.

The income isn’t fixed but if you are not relying on it, it might suit you.

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