To worry about my job because I can't be as 'creative' as I was?

[Maria53]

I'm an artist and also have a full time job dealing with clients. It has been a tricky point in the past because I ended up giving all my creative energy to my job rather thn my passion) and i've started thinking I'd be better off so doing something else more formulaic/non creative for work. But anyway.

Recently my main client has, in all but using the word itself, told me they are unhappy. They seemed to be happy with my work but have now employed someone who bad mouths what I do and suggests they could do my role better. The client feeds this back to me and has now said they don't feel I am being 'creative' enough to the point they have requested a crisis meeting. They said 'I know you can be even more creative for me because i know you do X as a hobby.'

And I am struggling to care. I'm making all the right noises - 'yes we'll fix this', 'yes I'll be more creative.' I WFH and havent seen my colleagues since pre lockdown. No sign of going back to our shared office soon. I mainly work alone and have no one to collaborate with most days.

There is still plenty of positive online engagement coming from what I am creating for this client so I feel they are being unfair? We are in a pandemic and my relative is seriously ill. I just feel so fed up of these never ending extra expectations during one of the hardest years in history. AIBU? Can anyone relate?

Reality is if I cant fix this the agency may lose the client. I've never felt I just couldn't do something at work before, until now.

There is something about living like this, wfh all the time and living alone without my usual social pursuits during the week they has changed how I feel and the output I am creating.

It is clearly a problem but I dont know what to do to fix this.

First, you need to talk internally to your team/manager. It's a commercial risk, but also, it's an added demand on you (and you are the talent remember) and you need some support - are your work good and supportive? Are they aware of the other demands on you? There will be ways to fix this, but an open conversation internally to see who can help would be a good first step.

This is happening in all businesses which have gone to WFM mostly - it can be really isolating and you're absolutely not alone.

Thanks @pandarific. I just feel like - bit of a failure? To be honest? And as though the client lacks empathy.

I have asked my manager to join the online meeting with the client and have explained the situation. They mostly agree with me but I am worried the client is going to roast me in the meeting.

Jobs have never been so uncertain and I worry my managers will think I'm not capable anymore.

The work know about my unwell relative. I'm also one of the only people at work who lives alone. I know everyone has different stresses but it is so isolating sometimes. I don't think workplace appreciate just how hard that can be for some people.

It doesn't sound like work are supporting you. Someone else should surely be involved in client communications alongside yourself? Why does it all sit with you? Is there no one you can work with to brainstorm ideas? Is the client clear on what they want? Are you clear on what they want?

What happened was, when the client first made rumblings about being a bit unhappy I spoke to my manager and asked for help to do things a different way. She effectively said 'yeah you should do things a different way' without actually offering to brainstorm with me etc. That was disappointing. Also the client was asking me to post stuff I found quite sexist.

Since then manager has said she has noticed I'm doing things differently which she approves of. But client still isnt happy. So now she can't ignore it because it has reached the come to jesus stage. Which is kind of embarrassing for me. I need to find out what the client does want which is rarely clear.

This is happening tomorrow and my stomach is in knots about it.

Oh sounds horrible I am struggling with my work ethic and output and have lost confidence so I really sympathize

@longcoffeebreak sorry to hear you are struggling. But it is good to hear I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I feel bad even complaining because at least I am in a job? The client's main complaint is that they want all, or most, of my artwork for them to be funny. They then linked me to an example which was sexist. They also say I ask too many questions (I ask about 2 a week per email).

Guess what? I am just not feeling funny right now. I do manage some light hearted art and even funny bits and pieces but it is the pressure to churn that out consistently that I just dont feel I can do right now. I feel stuck.

And I actually just feel like saying 'hey douchebag, we are living through a global pandemic and I'm doing the best I can.'

Being consistently creative at a certain level during this period is so, so hard.

Work in creative agencies is so harrowing when the clients aren't clear enough in their briefs. I sympathise. Could you use the meeting tomorrow to try to nail them down to what briefs need to look like, and a shared understanding of how you will both recognise good output?

Have you got hobbies you can do to help plug the gaps you are missing? Walks with a friend, make a support bubble, do an online hobby that sort of thing?

I went through something very similar recently op so I get where you're coming from. My boss threw me under the bus with a client, because he hadn't given me enough time or the correct materials to prepare for an online meeting and it was a disaster. He and the client ended up discussing me, my appearance and it totally knocked my confidence and reminded me why I love my creative job so much more. I'm afraid I couldn't fake it to make it after tjat - it made me feel like a failure and I'm a 100% input kind of person so I found it a bit soul destroying. I walked away and I'm desperately looking for something new to fill the gap so I can do my creative job part time and work with a firm whose values align with my own. It's hard but it was making me ill, so I had to walk away.

I don't know if it would be of any help with loss of morale and a threatening major client but I just happened to see John Cleese on tv the other day talking about a new book he's written called How to be Creative - or something like that. He said it is very short and while it cannot make you creative it can point to the conditions in which you can be creative. Freeing yourself from responsibility - clearing a space mentally I think rather than dumping your responsibilities - and being playful, like children, seemed to feature. Some of those ideas might give you a refresher. But maybe the underlying problem is that you are suffering from the lack of stimulating social contact or support at work, while dealing with this horrible situation with a rival and a main client.

@ColleagueFromMars I was with a friend all afternoon, yesterday which helped. But apart from my art, my main hobby is a theatre group which will not be opened for a very long time, if at all. I go hill walking when I can.

The client said they liked something I had done last week but then followed up with 'but you should also have mentioned X'. 'X' is something I have no knowledge of (internal knowledge). He runs a complicated business and seems angry that I dont understand all the ins and outs, but he is also not willing to teach me about his work. So I feel frustrated.

Exactly @Abitofalark. My theatre group was a huge source of creativity and collaboration for me. And I think I did carry that energy over into work. Now that's gone.

I think it is really hard when you are client facing - and some clients actually like exerting their power and being assholes. So remember that.

I worked with a brilliant lawyer and others from my side were just really keen to get rid but it was just completely political and the face didn't fit. I ended up with enough clout to stop that but if I had not had foreseen what a bunch of bullies they were this lawyer would be gone. And the lawyer took a while to realise the position was uncertain.

Take care of yourself. It is challenging times and you sound like you are doing your best!

He never used to be like this until the new employee came on board. I've never met this person but they just criticise everything I do and the client listens.

Last week I felt he spoke to me in quite a disrespectful manner for the first time. He also refers to the women he works with as 'girls' so I think he probably doesnt actuslly respect us deep down.

None of that matters. What matters is whether he wants to work towards a better relationship without the gossip getting in the way. And if he is willing to compromise and help me to understand him a bit better.

But there is no way I can pull off being the daily comedian.

As he wants you to be funny, have you thought about looking at some cartoons that you might find funny, give you ideas or at the least some light relief and enjoyment? Recently I looked online and there are loads. I saved a couple. Here: www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/cartoons/andy-capp/
Also Blondie and Dagwood. Blondie shops. And Dagwood is hopeless around the house. Sexist or what?
i.pinimg.com/736x/39/88/31/398831866aa30aa07dc26c20762f08c5.jpg

But this is something more interesting www.frominsultstorespect.com/2013/12/15/blondie-dagwood-and-the-nature-of-personal-power/

Also comedians. Or sitcoms. Are there any that make you laugh? There's plenty on youtube.

Right I actually am a comedian. Not recently but I was doing shows before lockdown. Since finding this out (after finding my.profile on social media) the client thinks I should be doing all this funny stuff for him.

I have done a couple of things he has liked but he also sent me an example video which was blatantly sexist and yet he is trying to reach more women. I am not creating sexist content.

I will have a look at the links you sent me for inspiration. It might spark something, who knows.

My personal work is important to me too. If I need to end up pouring all my funny, creative energy into this work I'll have nothing left for myself anymore.

In which case i need to consider if I might be more suited to a less creative career. One that still pays the bills, but is a different kind of work. No idea where to start with that.

You probably aren't feeling very funny unsurprisingly. There is nothing guaranteed to switch you off faster than a BE FUNNY expectation.
Can you mine this situation - or your anger - for creative purpose?

That's not something I expected! I like to look at cartoons or sketches or a favourite stand-up comedian or even music with funny words to make me laugh. But my first reaction when I read your post was that you need to fight. To get fired up and not give up and feel done to and done in by this insidious critic, and maybe he needs as well to be challenged to rethink the criticism and think and engage with your ideas about reaching women. Humour can be a weapon in dealing with him, using it to establish rapport and get a better footing.

My personal work is important to me too. If I need to end up pouring all my funny, creative energy into this work I'll have nothing left for myself anymore.

This wasn't a problem until recently, though, was it?

I really wish I had some advice for you in this immediate crunch with your client. It sounds like you're being put in a no win situation.

I would, however, advise not making a decision about your career on the basis of one client and the unfortunate impact of CV on your working conditions. These things can/will change. If you enjoyed your job before this and it fits your lifestyle/earns you enough money/etc. then that's a lot to give up on when it's not a positive move towards something you know will be better. Maybe look first to change the client somehow rather than your entire career.

It sounds like you have stacks of talent 👍

Have you had a holiday at all this summer?

Also client sounds a twat