Hello wise Mumsnetters - long time lurker (penis beaker, Maui, poo knife 
) first time poster.
I am hoping to get your wisdom to help with coming up with an out of the box solution to my childcare arrangement issue.
Background: DS father and I broke up before DS (now 5 years old) was born. Initially the contact agreement while he was a baby was visitation at my house, then when he was a little bit older DS father took him for the day, working up to overnight then to the current arrangement we have now with DS father having him EOW (Fri to Sun) - so effectively 4 nights out of 28.
This year DS father had been sick at the start of the year so I had to take on more of the childcare responsibilities. A bit into lockdown he was better so was taking DS a bit more (thurs-fri and thurs-sun). Over the school holidays we effectively split the holidays in terms of care.
It has been on my mind for some time to suggest that we increase DS father’s contact and now seemed like a good time as he had seen DS more over the last 3 months. I broached this the other week and DS father was receptive to the idea. I had originally suggested 1 night a week (for example Thursday) so he would collect DS from school Thursday and bring him back to school on Friday. This is in addition to EOW.
I hadn’t heard anything back from DS father so I followed up with him, his response was to suggest he collects DS from mine at 5pm take him to dinner, bath him then put him to bed AT MINE. I went back and said I didn’t think that would work practically as that would effectively mean I would be stuck at home (not to mention I would need to do the school collection) and would need to be available so I can’t do what I like with my “free time”.
He responded that (i) it’s not about me having free time but about him seeing DS, (ii) lawyers told him (back when we did mediation about 3 years ago) that that was an acceptable approach (maybe for a 2 year old but surely not a 5 year old), (iii) as he’s been sick he can’t get stressed and (iv) as he would have to drive DS to school in the morning (40mins), the way from his house to the school is an awkward route and if there’s an accident (this happens rarely 
), the route would be blocked.
AIBU to think this is a ridiculous suggestion from him? I will effectively have to babysit them both and, to be fair, I don’t particularly like DS father (all my family and friends hate him for the way in which things ended) and don’t want him spending loads of time at my house. While things are civil at the moment, it’s because I keep my mouth shut to the ridiculous things he says.
He’s come back with another suggestion of taking him the Friday nights he doesn’t already have DS and bringing him back Saturday morning so an extra 2 nights a month. This is also problematic as (i) it would mean I effectively wouldn’t be able to do “fun” things with DS as often we travel to London to museums etc as it would be too late by the time DS came home to me, (ii) if I were to travel with DS (well when Covid blows over as all my family is overseas) I would usually go on a Friday night and (iii) there may be times I want to have DS for my whole weekend. On the other hand, I may be more amenable to this option if DS father agreed to put him into a sport on Saturday mornings (with the current EOW arrangement it wouldn’t be possible due to the distance between his fathers and my houses) so at least I would feel the time I’m losing with DS would be worthwhile for him. I suspect if I suggest the sport thing DS father will tell me I’m trying to control his time with DS
I have felt the whole way through it’s always him always dictating when he spends time with DS.
So my question is do I (i) agree to the 2 extra Friday nights although DS father will need to be flexible for my travel plans and ask that he put him into Saturday morning sport, (ii) agree to the 2 extra fridays and the stupid few hours at mine the other weeks so there is in total an additional 4 days contact or (iii) does anyone else have any other suggestions??
Thank you for reading if you got this far 