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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to go and shoto my EX DP?

36 replies

mamazon · 06/10/2007 23:28

of course i am, i know i am. but right now i just want to cry.

basicly some of you will know about my history with him and will know that i am going through court to try and prevent access to teh children.
primarily because everytime they see him DS gets aggressive and violant because he remembers what he has seen before, but also because he has found me once before, tracked my parents and my brother down despite them both moving home.
and i fear (actually i know) thatgiven time he will gain enough information about our lives from teh kids taht he would find me again...this time i seriously doubt i will live to tell teh tale.

i have had the independant social workers report through and she ius recomending that he has unsupervised ocntact for an hour and half a fortnight.

she has stated that if i can prove the fact that he has been out every week getting pissed and fighting then she will recommend supervised contact.

i am just so tired of having to fight him. he is a complete waste of space and his only interest in teh children is so that he can get to me.

this whole case has been gouing on since i was moved for the second time, more than 2 years ago!
I am so tired of no one listening to me or anyone that knows my children.

i just want to forget about him and get on withour lives. each and every time i have to go to court i have to sit within feet of him.
they have no idea how hard that is. how hard it is not to be sick right there and tehn in the court room.

i just want it all to be over and instead i have another 2 day hearing in a couple of weeks.

OP posts:

spooklesandwhine · 18/10/2007 13:36

mamazon i have no advice no words of wisdom i'm afraid, i'm just so sorry that you have to fight so hard you sound so strong and i hope it all goes your way at the hearing

Original poster

mamazon · 18/10/2007 19:43

my brother and his friends have been in a pub with him whilst he has been kicking off.
but he is that violant they are too scared to amke a statement because he really would burn their house down or something.

it really is a case of him being so violant that he gets away with it all

OP posts:

curseofthemummylin · 18/10/2007 20:26

oh my god,i dont know what to suggest next no wonder you are at your wits end and so scared.im surprised he isnt locked away for everyones good by the sound of him,poor you.i suppose that they couldnt give evidence without him knowing who it was?

lovecat · 18/10/2007 20:49

I'm so sorry, I don't have any advice either as I have no idea how these things work but just wanted to post to let you know you're not being ignored () - I've been following your thread with utter horror that this is being allowed to happen and am thinking of you and your dcs. You must be so frustrated and worried - I'd be considering the gun option myself in your shoes...

Original poster

mamazon · 18/10/2007 20:52

this is why i was pinning my hopes on teh cctv from teh bar. but apparantly they didnt get a legal request for soon enough and have wiped it.

my own feeling is that this is his local and someone has given him a helping hand

the thing is he always gets away with it.
he alsmot killed someone when he first came out of the army. there was a pub fight and he beat a man so badly he spent 2 months in intensive care. he was taken to court, we had to go to the old bailey it was that serious...but he got off on a technicality right at the last minute.

its like he is made of teflon as far as the law is concerned.

OP posts:

curseofthemummylin · 18/10/2007 23:17

no comfort to you at the moment mamazon but eventually he will get caught doin something and be sent away for a long time,i cant believe that someone cant be a witness for fear of reprisals ,how unfair for you.He must be a real pig to put it mildly.

MABS · 19/10/2007 20:30

thinking of you hun, hope to see you in Dec x

NineUnlikelyTales · 19/10/2007 20:42

Mamazon I am so sorry you are going through this. It must be hell for you. But you must go to court and explain your reasons why he cannot have access to your children. They have no one else to defend them.

If it comforts you, my mum was in a very similar position to you 20 years ago. She had to go to court and face my father. SS were pushing for his 'rights' to see his children, despite the fact that he was in prison at the time for sexually abusing one of them Sometimes the system seems stacked wholly in favour of the most appalling people. Anyway, she had a terrifying experience in court and beforehand, but the upshot was that no access was granted and we went on with our lives. So do not give up hope. You can't.

Hoping and praying that it works out for you all.

Original poster

mamazon · 20/10/2007 10:42

Thank you for that nineunlikelytales.
it is good to hear that sometimes the court does make sense when it matters.

mabs - it all depends on the outocme at court really as we may be having a visit, but i am certainly going to try my hardest to get down to see you all, its been ages,.

mummylin that is what i am hoping, that he will come up against someone bigger and better and get whats coming to him. (but that is ever so slightly naughty of me so i shouldn't admit it)

OP posts:

curseofthemummylin · 20/10/2007 13:45

someone will come along as you say mamazon,i hope its before you have to go to court ! although there isnt much time now is there ? Its terrible that the people who could help you feel so theatened by him they are too scared to do so.

curseofthemummylin · 26/10/2007 20:36

i hope things have gone more your way mamazon.Did you manage to get anyone to be a witness for you ?

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