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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is CF-ery?

61 replies

Hangingover · 07/09/2020 06:44

I will preface this by saying DP and I tend to be laid-back perhaps to a fault so there may have been some naivity on our part here.

Background is DP and me were traveling around Aus when Covid broke and decided to stay as this state has virtually no Covid or restrictions...we tend to go to the same towns over and over so we bump into the same people who also decided to stay a fair bit.

Three months ago me and DP went to a small coastal town and bumped into someone we know. She had just arrived too so we spent the fortnight together all three and had fun. We said bye and that we'd be back in a month (it actually ended up being two and a half for various reasons).

We all do similar hobbies and we have more kit than her so we loaned our stuff in the week we were together. She really like two things we barely use and expressed interest in buying them. We left one thing with her as a loan, and took the other back south with us. She then contacted DP and said could she please buy both bits off us. DP sold her the thing we had brought back with us and posted it off straight away...the other, which we'd left with her, he told her he'd think about. She'd beaten him down on cost for the first thing and he wasn't sure he wanted to let the other go cheap, even though we never really use it, as they're quite expensive. After a couple of weeks, however, we reasoned it's one less thing to take home and agreed to sell it to her. He said let's agree a price, heard nothing, and chased her up but she never replied.

So we came back today and had a little bit of a cooler welcome from her...she's made other friends now and seemed busy with them...fair enough I suppose. Then she tells us through no fault of her own the thing she had hung onto and been using the whole time and allegedly wanted to buy had got really badly damaged and that she'd had it mended and she was sorry. DP looked a bit non-plussed and said oh that's a pity, no need to apologize though it's already yours really we just needed to agree the price remember. She sort changed the subject then excused herself. We both have concluded the reason she went silent about buying it was because it's now damaged and no longer wants it (for context while repairs on this sort of thing mean they still work they knock a lot* of resale value off them).

Also in the gap between the two visits we met up with some other friends (two separate groups), who we're closer too, who also know her, and transpires they both have been on the recieving end of several piss-takey attempts to get out of paying for stuff on her part.

  • As an aside, even being as fair as possible, I really have my doubts it wasn't her fault based on past experience.

I'm not being deliberately obtuse about the items buy the way, they're just random specialist bits of equipment.

What think you MN jury?

YABU - the price was never agreed on and she's repaired it so you should take it back

YANBU - she's a cheeky fucker and should pay the pre-repair resale price

Oh also as a kicker, she straight afterwards introduced a random friend of hers to me and DP and then straight up asked if DP might be able to sort him out a discount on some kit with DPs sponsor. 😂 I don't think I'm imagining things!!

OP posts:
Hugsgalore · 07/09/2020 07:56

He said "let's agree a price" and then they could track her down... so no price was agreed. It also says further down the OP that when they did finally meet he said to her "we just had to agree a price"

Hugsgalore · 07/09/2020 07:57

sorry my previous post was for @KeepingPlain

oakleaffy · 07/09/2020 07:57

I wondered if this was a mountain bike kit...very expensive, and sponsorship gets 'cheaper' /free ones so people take gross advantage {or try to} ...but why should others gain from your DP's skills?

She is being a complete CF.

What a bloody cheek.

msflibble · 07/09/2020 08:03

she's a cheeky fucker yes. Ask for the full price and threaten to get the police involved if she says no. then avoid her at all costs. She's a user.

Standrewsschool · 07/09/2020 08:04

Pays full price or replaces it.

SoupDragon · 07/09/2020 08:08

@Hugsgalore

He said "let's agree a price" and then they could track her down... so no price was agreed. It also says further down the OP that when they did finally meet he said to her "we just had to agree a price"
She stopped replying because she'd broken the item!
oakleaffy · 07/09/2020 08:11

@msflibble

she's a cheeky fucker yes. Ask for the full price and threaten to get the police involved if she says no. then avoid her at all costs. She's a user.
Police won't do anything. The stuff was lent not stolen {Learned this the hard way} -At least in UK they won't do anything.
Beautiful3 · 07/09/2020 08:23

I doubt very much that she ll pay. Have her repair and return it and be done with her. Never lend her anything again.

waltzeswithsnobs · 07/09/2020 08:24

Now that I've broken it, I no longer want to buy it.
CF

Shedpaint · 07/09/2020 08:28

Stay firm
Demand a reasonable price for the item and don’t let it go.
Then go low contact- she’s a CF

fuzzyduck1 · 07/09/2020 08:34

Ask her for the money when her new friends are there!
That way she got the choice of paying or looking like a complete arse infront the of her new friends.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/09/2020 08:45

She broke it, she bought it.

She either pays what your DP asks, or pays for a replacement(even you don't use it, it was yours and you could always sell it to someone else.)

TorgosPizza · 07/09/2020 08:50

Of course she should do the decent thing and pay a fair price for the thing, but it does seem very unlikely to happen. You should never have left it with her, as I imagine you now know.

I'd want nothing more to do with her, so wouldn't worry about offending her by telling her bluntly that you want her to do the honourable thing. Then, whatever happens, I'd stop socialising with her as much as possible without making things awkward for yourselves.

FunorFitness · 07/09/2020 08:57

If I borrowed something and broke it O would replace it!!!

She is getting off lightly paying second hand price that was already agreed.

I doubt she will pay though.

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 07/09/2020 09:05

You were totally stupid. If you agreed a price with her then why didn't she just transfer this money to your account? If you aren't happy then just take both things back from her. Go nc with the CF and just learn from the experience.

Jeremyironsnothing · 07/09/2020 09:12

She should pay but I bet she won't. Don't lend stuff unless you are prepared for it to get lost or damaged.

LadyLairdArgyll · 07/09/2020 09:22

I agree... she will never pay a penny

KeepingPlain · 07/09/2020 09:28

He said "let's agree a price" and then they could track her down... so no price was agreed. It also says further down the OP that when they did finally meet he said to her "we just had to agree a price"

Yes but they'd messaged her already offering to sell it. She hadn't agreed to whatever price they suggested, I believe that's what op meant. Cf had been given a price but hadn't replied. That's not ops fault. Plus cf didn't reply because she'd broken it.

justilou1 · 07/09/2020 09:34

She is not a friend, she’s an acquaintance. She’s also a fucking arsehole. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

HyggeHeart · 07/09/2020 10:13

She either 1. buys it at the price agreed or 2. you get it back plus she compensates you for the loss in value of the item incurred due to the damage that happened whilst in her care. Her choice. You should not carry the loss.

violetbunny · 07/09/2020 10:39

Bet you she hasn't damaged it. She is hoping you will just say not to bother returning it.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/09/2020 12:21

That's a good point Violetbunny - you're probably right.

Eddielzzard · 07/09/2020 13:17

Yep. I agree. Ask for it back. Then she doesn't 'win' either.

Original poster
Hangingover · 07/09/2020 14:15

Yeah I expect you're all right. I think she's banking on us not making it awkward by insisting she paid. We haven't seen the damage yet. If she was planning on shifting it back to us and refusing to buy it it's also bad manners to just get it mended without telling us too - some people are a LOT better at these repairs than others and if she's had it done on the cheap it may not even work anymore. Now I think on it she did do a couple of things during last visit that made me think she was a bit pushy but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. DP is really hacked off about it so we'll see how tomorrow goes 😬

OP posts:
OldEvilOwl · 07/09/2020 14:47

You probably won't get any money from her but make sure you get the item back either way. Cheeky fucker