to accept a weightloss defeat

[letmesleep123]

I've now hit 40 and for as long as I remember myself I've been battling with my weight. Looking back at my 20year old self, I was slim and attractive, a lot less slim in my 30s and now, 3 kids later, I am 3-4st overweight.
I can't take the dieting/healthy lifestyle/exercising anymore. I have tried it all - weightwatchers, slimming world, bodycoach, low carb, keto, you name it. I've driven myself to boderline binge eating disorder. I've exercised, walked, ran. I'm very disciplined with it all for months, I lose extremely slowly, then have a few weeks over christmas/stressful job/life getting in the way and put it all back on.
I wass going through some old ohotos today and just thought I'd had enough. Two ways from here - accept that that's it, I'll be growing at my average rate of a stone every 5 years. Or have a surgery of some sort.
If you've struggled with your weight throughout your life and are now older - have you finally found that "magic formula" that worked for you? AIBU to think that for some people (me) there is no "cure" and not everyone can get to their healthy weight?

reward with food .. Sorry typos

@Blankblankblank

I’m late 40’s and lighter than I’ve ever been. At your age I had resigned myself to gaining each year and becoming obese like my grandmother & DM. My two older sisters also hit obesity a couple of years ago and I thought enough is enough. I got on the scales one day then started logging everything I consume on My Fitness Pal. No fad diets. I still eat anything I want but I finally understand calories and how many calories are actually in things and so watch my portion control and don’t over eat. The shock that those 5 chocolate digestives have more calories in than a ham roll and a packet of crisps, or that a shop sandwich has more calories than a well portioned roast dinner has been an eye opener.

This! My fitness pal has been amazing for me and my teen child together losing weight. We feel better and healthier in ourselves. It's only been 2 months but we've lost 3 stone between us x

I was diagnosed with ceoliacs last year and had to do the FODMAP elemination diet.
It's brutal but it's the first time I've ever really thought about what I put into my body and how the different foods affect it.
Im now completely grain, gluten and wheat free. Limited dairy and alcohol too. This is the first time in my life I've had a stable weight. Im still half a stone over where I like to be but that's because I eat a too much snack GF snack food and dark chocolate.
It's interesting as my weight issues have always been linked to endemetriosis and there are now studies linking gynae logical issues to dietary ones, such as ceoliacs and intolerances.
Im not saying its a magic cure for everyone, but I would recommend FODMAP, even just for a few weeks, to give your body the chance to register what it tolerates and 'likes'. As we get older, everything changes so why should digestion be any different?

I really recommend you do some reading up on anti-dieting. I can't remember exactly the names of helpful books I've read, I'm convinced one is called the fuck it diet. I'm in a similar boat OP. I'm 40 two kids, been through the dieting wringer and am probably as heavy now as I was when I was pregnant with DS1. My attitude towards food, eating and my self esteem was really fucked up and I think it's taken the last decade to fix all of the dieting I did in my teens and 20's.

My personal opinion is that eating and exercising in a way lose weight is a very different thing to eating and exercising in a way to be healthy. Does the end of being a healthier weight justify the means of falling into very unhealthy habits to achieve that goal?

I have made the decision to be healthier. I am exercising most days. I am eating food cooked from scratch, lots of fruits and vegetables etc. I am cutting out the junk food, the snack food etc. But I will have something occasionally if I want it. I keep asking myself 'is it healthy to do this?'

I have no idea if I'm losing weight by doing this, because I'm not doing this to lose weight. I've not gotten on the scales for a while. My focus is on the process of being healthy, not on the end point of losing weight. I could lose weight by living off coffee and cigarettes, but it's not very healthy is it?

As women age we need way less carbohydrates and we are also more prone to gut inflammation from refined grains, wine and sugars (including sugars from fruit and milk). Start to see these things as 'junk' food and cut them out as much as possible.

Maybe ankther factor is that everything we eat is pasteurised etc and we just don't get the gut flora we used to before and bad gut flora over long time creates issues. Gut flora is incredibly important.

Have a look at rebel fit and how your set point weight affects everything.