Need advice on dh please

[StormsDontLastForever]

Dh went out yesterday, told me he would be home for 7pm, ended up at a friends house drinking until 5am this morning. I had asked him to come straight home after the place he was at finished at 7pm, promised me he would and wouldn't go awol (as he always does). Strolled in door at 5am this morning as if nothing had happened, said he done nothing wrong, can't see why I was annoyed. I've had a terrible week this week and didn't need the stress of worrying about him being out etc. Not spoke to him this morning, want to have a chat with him to tell him I'm not happy and my reasons but he acts like a child & basically tells me to fuck off he's not done anything wrong bla bla bla. Anyone have any advice? Aibu to ignore him all day 🤣 don't want to be childish though but need to do something as he has pissed me off and I've had hardly any sleep

Seems like he has checked out of the family. His friends mean more to him than you.

Seems like he thinks he is single.

So I would make that official.

There was no curfew set by me, he told me he would be home at 7pm when the booking they had was up. I have had a terrible week and not had much of a break, he was the one that said he would be back at 7pm for some dinner and a night infront of the tv. He has been very cautious during this pandemic and only last week he refused to go on public transport as he was worried it was too risky to catch the virus, then he decides f**k it I'll just get drunk, not tell her I'm going to be late or anything & stroll home at 5am with no key & wake her up . I am in no way controlling an would never set him a curfew as he is an adult. I just think he was very selfish and disrespectful. We have a child together and I have a family member who has been in hospital, I was due to visit this morning but then couldn't go as he was hungover and I could leave my child alone with him until he was fit enough. It's just been a crap week & all I hoped for was a little bit of respect

Thank you to those of you who made the nice comments and understood the point of my post quite new to mn so not sure how to thank everyone individually

And I mean I had asked him to come straight home after he had said 7pm I meant as in come straight home don't be hanging around anywhere unnecessarily incase he got hurt or into trouble or anything. Also the fact I was promised my dinner and a movie night 😂

Where the fuck does it say he had a curfew? I swear to god some people have zero reading comprehension.
OP I'd be seriously wondering why I was with a man who told me to fuck off and acted like a child. What are you getting from him?

Ignoring him isn’t doing something, it is just passive aggressive bullshit and isn’t going to change anything.

Literally this is either put up or bale out..

So here is my 2 cent

OP sorry you’ve had a hard week. You do sound quite overwhelmed in your most recent post.

Regarding your OH, this pandemic would have affected people in many different ways. Whilst you say he was super cautious and then had a fuck it moment ... could you possibly understand why? Fuck it moments do happen and this whole pandemic has been so confusing.

That being said, you’ve had a rough week, you have a child. To be woken up at 5am after your rough week is entirely inconsiderate of your OH. In your position, I would expect him to have taken his key with him and made little noise as to not wake me or children up.

What’s probably more annoying is that you had a pre planned visit and he decided his fuck it moment was going to trump that. So now your plans have changed.

What you’re feeling sounds like it’s understandable. He has been inconsiderate and selfish. It sounds like you needed some relax time to unwind but instead you’re now working around him.

He shouldn’t have sworn at you.

Would you wait until he’s calmed down and explain to him how you feel calmly? And ask him politely not to be in the defence but just to listen to how you feel!

Sorry to hear you’ve had a rough night.

Was he like this before you had a child with him/married him?

@Pizzatoast if you're free, I'd appreciate you being nearby like the mistake opera singer on scrubs. That was such a reasoned response

@lilmishap gladly exchange my services but only if you give me free food.

I would point out that Saturday night in Birmingham several people were attacked at random. One is dead they did not go out thinking they would not be going home again else I doubt they would have bothered. Unless he updates you on where he is or actually comes home how the hell do you know his not in the same situation where ever he is.

There was no curfew set by me, he told me he would be home at 7pm when the booking they had was up. I have had a terrible week and not had much of a break, he was the one that said he would be back at 7pm for some dinner and a night infront of the tv.

But you did set a curfew.....

I had asked him to come straight home after the place he was at finished at 7pm,

But you did set a curfew..... If that was a curfew then I set them for DH all the time.

"Hi love. What day are you coming back from [pick your spot, Highlands and Islands always a favourite]? Will you make it for tea? OK, see you then!"

"Oi! It's gone 6pm where the hell are you? Don't give me Auchtermuchty, I've heard that one before!"

Behave!

@CuriousaboutSamphire

'What time are you coming back at?' is not the same as telling someone to 'come straight home' after an event

Are you telling me to 'behave' because I can see a difference in those 2 things?