Do I have ADHD?

[BrightonRocks89]

Hello! Long-time lurker here, would it be unreasonable to ask for some advise?

Inspired by another thread (great thread topic btw! 😊) I wondered if you all could help me figure something out. I'm a 31yr old woman and have always struggled with anxiety and my concentration skills. I was alcohol dependant for over 10 years and its only within the last year thst I have detoxed and got it under control - I thought most of my problems would be solved! But no.. if anything when I don't drink I feel even more frustrated and find it hard to focus on simple tasks.

Does this checklist sound like ADHD? ;

1. I change my university course subject 3 times as I could not make a decision, this also lead me to procrastinate/drink, do drugs, anything but sit down and focus on my work as I felt I couldn't or it gave me crazy anxiety and I just wanted to be free in my own mind.
2. Only holding down 1 job in my life where I was late and found it hard to multi-task/focus/be social with other colleagues.
3. I am very indecisive in general, I cancel plans or faff about thinkjng do I want to go, will I enjoy it? Oh it ferls like too much effort.. so half the time I choose the easy option to just stay in. This has gotten worse lately, I never know what I want and everything seems such an effort and I am worried about being a recluse even though I do love being social and like tonight I feel very lonely being stuck in alone.
4. I tend to interrupt people, I feel myself doing it but its hard to stop and I get so frustrated with myself. My mind spins 100x a second it feels and I just feel like sometimes I'm going insane.

As you can see by my rushed typing I am so unorganised! But this is ruling my life, I become filled with dread by the thought of settling down for example on my laptop to fill in an application form etc, to the point where I'm filled with doom and anxiety.. for a simple task! This is not right is it? I desperately want more focus and motivation so I can not care about life and live it and get a job but I just can't- theres a mental block. Should I see my gp about ADHD? Any advise please? I'm deeply unhappy and concerned, thankyou.

If you’re 31 and have been alcohol dependent for a decade (and maybe even longer than that if it crept up) that’s half - or at least a third of living your life through an alcoholic fuzz. Congrats and it’s good you’ve been alcohol free for a year, but it’s probably the after effects of that for that long. And you mentioned you did/do drugs as well. You might have ADHD, or you might still be adjusting to being sober.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD by a psychiatrist but I still feel a bit wary of the whole thing.

To some extent, does having a label matter hugely? It's the symptoms that you're concerned about, and strategies to fix those would be the same whether you have the label 'ADHD' or not.

I have medication but it has definitely not solved all my problems. I have to work hard on life skill strategies and was advised by the psychiatrist to find a counsellor who specialises in CBT therapies, neither of which need you to be diagnosed with ADHD to help your life.

I think you have so much going on in your poor brain that it's hard to separate out what is causing what. People with ADHD often use drugs and alcohol to cope with their feelings of failure or depression (though so do many without ADHD). You can definitely seek professional help for the things you're struggling with, but I wouldn't necessarily pin hopes on an ADHD diagnosis, just have an open mind and know that therapy/counselling and potentially medication can certainly help the symptoms you are describing.

You sound more dyslexic

Not focused, disorganized, procrastination, time keeping, all up there!

Thankyou for commenting! I used drugs (mdma, cocaine) recreationally aged 21-26 on and off, certainly have grown out of it! Guess I'm worried its caused long-term damage..

I'm not sure how being diagnosed would help tbh, I'm not kean to start medication, have turned down ads as I wanted to 'do it sober' but I guess its not so simple.. I am very confused and I like to be able to understand myself I guess. I used to think that my mind is mine, I control it, but after the detox recently I have realised that some thoughts and feelings cannot be controlled, a concept I'm finding hard to deal with!

The ‘label’ gives you more protection under the disability act. It gives you rights to have reasonable adjustments at work, it gives you access to additional eduction and in some cases benefits.
It also gives you more awareness of the issues you face day to day that others don’t.
It also shows you you’re not alone and others are similar. You can share experiences and get invaluable advices.

Not all people need medication, but it’s worth investigating.

I'm very decisive and so is DD (diagnosed).

As for the rest, if you aren't going to take medication and neither DD nor I do, try the tricks for ADHD. I concentrate better with lots going on. I used to study for exams with music and the TV going. I like jobs where it is always different and they are slightly risky. I also like hobbies that are slightly risky (as does DD). Managed risk so we get the excitement without the injury!

I interrupt all the time. I have to actively try to stop myself.

@MrsTerryPratchett

I'm very decisive and so is DD (diagnosed).

As for the rest, if you aren't going to take medication and neither DD nor I do, try the tricks for ADHD. I concentrate better with lots going on. I used to study for exams with music and the TV going. I like jobs where it is always different and they are slightly risky. I also like hobbies that are slightly risky (as does DD). Managed risk so we get the excitement without the injury!

I interrupt all the time. I have to actively try to stop myself.

Oh I can relate to the risky behaviour! Like you I want it to be safe but with an edge! I get bored easily and my mind darts from one thing to another.. are these traits? Also my moods can go very up and down, I put it down to being eccentric, like I get very very excited about the silliest of things, or I can be rather ratty, maybe I'm just a typical woman

I would consider meds if advised, is ritalin prescriped in the UK? I've read a mixed bag of reviews on it! Can I ask if anyone has any experience with ADHD meds?

I have the same symptoms and more. I’m 99.9% sure I have inattentive ADHD but was pretty much laughed at by the physiatrist I saw because I have managed to hold down a job. It’s fucking tedious that these people just seem to have no clue. The women with adhd group on fb is good for helping you feel less alone OP.

I’m considering paying for a private assessment but I’ve not really looked into how I’d access medication after that.

I think its just the detox of coming off all those drugs. That will take a while.

I think you need to find a Psychologist, and talk things out. I think a lot of your issues could be fixed with CBT. And joining some sort of Psych/Therapist led group to fix your social issues.

Unless you can get a bunch of free services if you have a diagnosis of something. Then go get a diagnosis and use those services to help you out.

The mind darting is definitely me. And DD. She was once talking to me and suddenly said "squirrel!" at a squirrel outside. ADHD cliche.

The moods swings aren't. But having ADHD that isn't managed or recognised can lead to feeling inadequate and frustrated. I've worked VERY hard on DD's regulation and recognition of emotions. Another child at her school with the same diagnosis and age has threatened suicide. He is very poorly managed.

Did cocaine calm you down or ramp you up? Did you feel more focused or more scattered Because stimulants tend (and it's extremely variable) to focus us but not NT people. But there are lots of people with ADHD who don't have the same reaction.

Do you hyper-focus on some things?

@MrsTerryPratchett

The mind darting is definitely me. And DD. She was once talking to me and suddenly said "squirrel!" at a squirrel outside. ADHD cliche.

The moods swings aren't. But having ADHD that isn't managed or recognised can lead to feeling inadequate and frustrated. I've worked VERY hard on DD's regulation and recognition of emotions. Another child at her school with the same diagnosis and age has threatened suicide. He is very poorly managed.

Did cocaine calm you down or ramp you up? Did you feel more focused or more scattered Because stimulants tend (and it's extremely variable) to focus us but not NT people. But there are lots of people with ADHD who don't have the same reaction.

Do you hyper-focus on some things?

Oh my! I do the same kinda mind darting thing as your DD! If someone is talking to me I'll just cut them off and gush over something cute, or with an just telling me a story I'd get over-excited and just havd to show them a pic, video, something I bought.. anything! Or I'll point out thibgs too in the exact same way. I feel I do this more and more but people just think I'm highly eccentric

In regards to cocaine.. gosh its been so long! Its tricky to remember but I think I loved the confidence, and that brought so kind of calmness with it.. I'd chat crazily but my mind seemed less active? So I was buzzing but focusing on the buzz and tge environment which I became hyper on, but my mind raced to all kinds of levels afterwards.. I was very much focused on a conversation, deep ones, mdma included, not sure what this means? I guess I believe such stimulants helped me focus on a partcular thing that I wanted - which confuses me.

Sorry to hear about that poor boy, that is very sad and I hope he gets the proper care he needs

Sorry to hear about that poor boy, that is very sad and I hope he gets the proper care he needs

I'm trying my best.

I'd see if I could get a referral. I've also worked in treatment (slightly risky!) and as Jessica says, when you get into recovery you are at the very start of the journey so that could be some of it too. Addiction is common with ADHD as well though. Chicken and egg. You need a good, well-trained professional to see what's happening.

Sounds like it is possible. Try the GP but don’t be put off if they aren’t helpful. Our GP didn’t seem to believe in it. DH went private, it’s very expensive but the NHS took over after assessment. He’s doing well in his career but it’s a specialist role that fits with his skills. Add management or admin and he struggles massively. He finds coffee helps so worth trying. He didn’t like Ritalin (methylphenidate), fears about changing his personality, he didn’t like me trying ADs even. DD diagnosed via school is thriving on methylphenidate.

Op you’ve literally described myself! We are two peas in a pod. I also have your history. I keep thinking I have it and need to know. I’ve been sacked from a lot of jobs as I couldn’t concentrate and made mistakes. I’ve really struggled professionally my whole life. I just want answers and not to always blame myself.

I’ve got a Young dd and it was a relief to think I could claim benefits. (Which really isn’t what it’s their for!) I often think of a future just staying on benefits and being housed because I don’t think I could keep down a job. (Although really want to) then j feel so guilty as both parents are hard working upper middle class and they’ve always afforded lovely holidays every year, own their own house.

I’m living at home like a sponge and it’s affecting my self esteem. Also I’ve done badly in relationships.

I have ADHD but these symptoms also sound similar to how I felt in my 20s when I stopped smoking weed after years of smoking it daily.

I couldn't do a desk job and don't have any motivational issues now I'm out on the road all day with constant distraction.

Hi op I'm on my phone so apologise for lack of paragraphs. My husband has been diagnosed as an adult it was a 12 month wait from being referred. They also want him to be seen in relation to ADD aswell so he is waiting for that then needs a physical health check then they will discuss treatment options. He is poor at regulating emotions, has mood swings, he had a abusive childhood and the assessment classed it as trauma ( so in unsure if this is part of his upbringing or to do with ADHD) cant cope with stress , struggles with focus , drifts in conversations and misses large parts of what is being said, forgets lots of things, misplaces things but also cant find thingseg often says my keys arent on the shelf after he has looked , I will then go and they will be there. struggles to motivate himself to do things he doesnt know how to do or doesnt want to do/ finds boring, interrupts people, is very blunt. He does hold down a job now but its physical labour and no dealing with the public. Previously he has been sacked numerous times. He cant manage money at all is very impulsive or things like household admin. He also doesn't really understand others emotions that well and is poor at giving emotional support. When younger was expelled from all schools he attended, offended as child and teenager, drank, took drugs from young age and self medicated for long period of time in teens and twenties. He stopped the last of this which was weed when I got pregnant and his difficulties became much more obvious. I think it's a good idea to see the GP and ask for an assessment.

The comedian Laura Clery was recently diagnosed With ADD in America. She has a video on it. It’s a fascinating watch. She was misdiagnosed as a child with bi-polar. Is a recovering addict and had childhood trauma.

Diagnosing females, as with most things, isnt done well as we now know all testing over decades has been male orientated.

Have a watch...

Luna... that’s really not in the spirit of this thread.

I haven’t been to a gp yet, I’m almost scared to know as well as not sure if I want the label. Lot more complex than you give it credit for. People can be suicidal over this issue.

In fairness bog off.

@LunaLula83
Christ, who rattled your cage? Are people not allowed to ask questions on a forum anymore? Maybe everyone should run them past you first. Most GP's know very little about ADHD in adults. They usually need to be pointed in the right direction. Lots of people (particularly women) are misdiagnosed with other conditions. So it is useful to compare symptoms with others in order to have a cohesive list of symptoms to present to a GP.

Many adults only discover they have it because their child is diagnosed and lots of things about their own difficulties begin to fall into place.

@LunaLula83

WTF? That's a really nasty & uncalled for post. You should be really ashamed of yourself.

@BrightonRocks89. Please ignore it, there's always one who thinks they're clever & witty, when they're just plain nasty

Ducking hell luna. Go back to bed and try starting the day again.

Be careful with online "diagnosis" you are on a website where everyone under 50 get diagnosed with ASD and over 50 with dementia🤷🏻

However, if you feel that you may have adhd (or anything else for that matter), absolutely go and speak to your gp. And great job on stopping drinking. Really!

One thing about ADHD is that stimulants don't work on people with it in the same way as they do for most people. So when you say that cocaine made you calmer and focused, then that to me is quite a big flag. Try a sugar free Red Bull or just a caffeine tablet; if that helps then I would think about trying to get a diagnosis.

But also, as yours seems quite severe, I would also think about medication. I know plenty of adults who have a much better life because of it.

As an adult diagnosed in my early 20s - yes, it does. I believe I've always had it, but masked and it got diverted to multiple other (some true) psych diagnoses. School reports were all 'won't fulfill her potential', 'impulsive', 'needs to learn self control and when to be quiet' and my teens and twenties were filled with outbursts of tears or anger over tiny things. I do also have an EUPD diagnosis but they're often comorbid. I firstly took a non stimulant medication which helped a bit. (Atomoxetine/straterra). Since lockdown I've been put on a stimulant med (Elvanse) and it's a game changer.

If you're sure, and you've been off the booze long enough to not have that as a contributing factor, just keep hassling the doctors and pressuring for specialist referral. My diagnosis made a huge difference, simply that I knew better what factors to watch out for and support myself with, but medication has been the true help.