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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To TTC whilst on Mat leave?

37 replies

Pumpertrumper · 05/09/2020 20:41

Im on mat leave with DS (6 months)
I was really sick during pregnancy, signed off work the whole time. I’m likely to experience these complications again but want another child.

Rather than going back, getting pregnant again, 7 months off sick, then a year of mat leave Im considering TTC again now. The idea being I could get the first 4/5 months out of the way whilst I’m already on mat leave, go back PT for a few months then off on mat leave. This would reduce the amount of sickness leave I’d take.

The issue is, my company offer great sick/mat pay packages. Just like every other woman in the company I’m entitled to these but Im not sure I’ll qualify for it if I go back from mat leave pregnant.

I have no way to check the mat/sick policies currently so would have to ask HR/my manager directly but I feel weird doing that.

AIBU?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 05/09/2020 20:53

Will going back PT affect your maternity package with a second one?

NaughtipussMaximus · 05/09/2020 20:59

Someone on our team did this, got pregnant with her third while in maternity leave with her second - though the third child was an accident (apparently). I don’t know what benefits she was entitled to, having only been back for three months before she went off on leave again, but I do know there was quite a lot of hostility from some members of the team about it - the childless ones and the men, mostly, who thought a year off with 3 under 3 would be a holiday rather than utter hell! So I’d be prepared for snide comments etc, even if HR are fine.

Fluffingheck · 05/09/2020 21:09

YANBU. I got pregnant with my second whilst still on mat leave with the first. Had to go back to work and tell my boss I was pregnant again (only 6 months mat leave admittedly). I was dreading telling him, but my boss told me that it was no more inconvenient then than it would have been in another year or so. He was right. If I'd had any longer gap and got some semblance of normal life back, I wouldn't have had another. Only 13 months between the two, blooming hard work then, but great once they were that bit older.

notalwaysalondoner · 05/09/2020 21:09

If your only concern is whether you’d receive the benefits, I’d review the policy but my understanding is you get full benefits again even if you’re only back for a short time. You could ask for a confidential HR conversation to confirm this - HR people are used to dealing with confidential stuff and especially if you will actually save them sick leave and having to provide extra cover it would actually be better for the company. In general companies are aware a lot of women have several children in quick succession so you won’t be the first or the last.

Original poster
Pumpertrumper · 05/09/2020 21:11

@AnneLovesGilbert

Yes dropping to PT means I’ll only receive the PT benefits (I could remain FT on paper and get the FT benefits if I wanted to but I don’t feel that would be right).

@NaughtipussMaximus
Yeah I know, I’m just trying to minimise the impact tbh. Rather than it being another 17 months off at a later date it could be 12-13 months off now.

I also want to actually get back on track with my career post kids not tread water PT waiting to have a second, then working PT till they’re at school...etc doing it back to back makes more sense for me and my company but I still feel awkward asking whether I’ll qualify for mat pay

OP posts:
SunbathingDragon · 05/09/2020 21:11

The enhanced maternity pay will depend upon your employer but often it’s granted if you qualify for SMP which would mean you would need to be receiving a sufficient income during weeks 17-25 of your pregnancy.

ChicCroissant · 05/09/2020 21:12

Just to echo the points made by previous posters, if you go back part-time that will effect how much you will receive for the second maternity leave (assuming you qualify) and it's worth bearing in mind if finances will be an issue.

Really, you need to check the mat leave policy - is there anyone in work who could send you a copy?

FelicityBob · 05/09/2020 21:14

I went back to work 4 months pregnant after a year mat leave and got the full benefits, but would recommend going back full time if you can do that you get full time mat leave pay second time. I didn’t do this and should have.

justchecking1 · 05/09/2020 21:14

You might not get any benefits at all. You're mat pay is worked out as an average of your salary between weeks 17 and 25 of your pregnancy. If you're on mat leave at this time, it might be nothing

Elieza · 05/09/2020 21:16

Ask your union rep?

ParcelFarce · 05/09/2020 21:17

I’d check confidentially with HR first, just to be sure. Just ask for a copy of the policy. And to hell with what anyone might think - you’re not causing any extra hassle by having your children close together (probably less, as pp have pointed out) and you’ve every right to plan your family as you see fit. If they’d rather live in a world where women have to choose between work and staring a family, that’s their problem. Lots of perks to having DC close in age, too even if it doesn’t feel that way for the first three years

SunbathingDragon · 05/09/2020 21:17

@justchecking1

You might not get any benefits at all. You're mat pay is worked out as an average of your salary between weeks 17 and 25 of your pregnancy. If you're on mat leave at this time, it might be nothing
That’s for SMP and not always relevant for enhanced maternity pay.
DramaAlpaca · 05/09/2020 21:18

I did exactly that. Got the full maternity leave package again too. I only went back to work for about three months between maternity leaves. I was entitled to a year off so took the whole lot and got pregnant again when DS was 7 months. I did feel a bit guilty, to be honest, but I'd worked there a long time and was entitled to it under my contract. Work weren't exactly over the moon, though!

SunbathingDragon · 05/09/2020 21:19

Why don’t you email HR and say you are off on maternity leave and would like a copy of the maternity policy sent to you. They will probably assume that you are considering whether to resign and whether there are restrictions on repaying any enhanced pay rather than anything else.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 05/09/2020 21:23

I think most places you qualify for the same maternity benefits you did the first time even if you get pregnant before coming back again. Because then they would be discriminating against mothers with young kids if this wasn't the case.

Remember you can also share your maternity leave.

Is it that much different to going back for a year then taking another year off? I think in some cases its better to get it out of the way in one

Fink · 05/09/2020 21:41

But if you think you'd be signed off sick for the whole pregnancy, then you wouldn't actually come back from your first mat leave at all, would you? You'd be mat leave 1 - sick leave - mat leave 2. So it wouldn't matter if you were PT or FT on paper because you wouldn't be working at all.

For me it would depend a lot what the job is. And especially now that a lot of places have come round to the idea that WFH is possible when they didn't think it was before lockdown. Is it something that you could conceivably do from home instead of being on sick leave, for example (depending on what kind of illness as well)? Is it something where you would massively lose out on skills and promotions etc. by effectively being absent for 2 1/2 years (if you went on sick leave at 5 months pregnant)? If it's a low skilled job then that won't matter much, but it sounds more like a professional job.

ithinkiveseenthisfilmbefore · 05/09/2020 22:02

Keep in mind that putting two very young children into childcare will be twice as expensive as putting one into childcare. Factor the costs in; babies/under3s are more expensive than 3+ in care settings.

Ditheringdooley · 05/09/2020 22:07

You’re on mat leave at the moment, it wouldn’t be that weird to ask HR for a copy of the current policy and they should have no hesitation in providing it.

Do what works for you. Don’t worry about perceptions. No one thanks you for sacrifices made that they don’t expect or aren’t aware of. Just do what you need/ want to. And don’t screw your self out of entitlements.

stretchedmarks · 05/09/2020 22:12

I did this. After TTC, I found out I was pregnant 8 months into my leave. With taking a few weeks unpaid and holidays, I was able to return to work at around 18 weeks pregnant, completely missing the bulk of morning sickness which I dealt with at home with privacy (it was wonderful).

I'd highly reccomend it. Having two under two with a small age gap is hard sometimes, but not as hard as I thought it would be.

Margaritatime · 05/09/2020 22:12

The key is to make sure you will be eligible for SMP as most occupational schemes only top up SMP. www.gov.uk/maternity-paternity-calculator

stretchedmarks · 05/09/2020 22:19

Also yes, make sure you're back to work the qualifying weeks or taking paid holidays those weeks. Holidays count as working. But that is easy enough to time if you work it out before TTC (ie don't get pregnant before X date). For the sake of a few weeks or a month or two, it's worth waiting to ensure you get SMP. You'll still be having them very close together, but it just saves hassle down the line in regards to money. I slightly miss timed mine by half a week so I lost a tiny bit of SMP, which wasn't a huge issue, but if I'd waited one more month I would have had more money.

Waveysnail · 05/09/2020 22:24

I'd go back full time first. Even if you are signed off sick with second pregnancy then you may want to keep first child in a childcare setting

Chloemol · 05/09/2020 22:25

I worked with someone who was off sick most of her pregnancy, ( did not look ill when visiting her, managed holidays etc) took her full entitlement of one year mat leave plus holidays, came back pregnant worked for the required two weeks, went off sick again for the whole pregnancy, then one year mat leave plus holidays, then resigned

Lots of staff very pissed off especially with all her social media posts

Ilikeviognier · 05/09/2020 22:33

I went back to work after Mat leave almost 20 weeks pregnant. I felt a bit awkward about it, but work were fine.

I got everything I was Entitled to the first time. And actually it worked out for the best as I was really really sick the second time with Constant vomiting in the first trimester, so it was just as well I wasn’t trying to commute into the office.

GinPin2 · 05/09/2020 22:34

My daughter has 17 1/2 months between her 2 children and did miss out somehow financially and we worked out she should have waited slightly longer. Can't remember the ins and outs now though.