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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be jealous that DH can be sick more comfortably than I can

4 replies

CheesyGhost · 05/09/2020 19:33

I know I am being unreasonable really but just to moan a bit. This week we have all come down with a cold. First 5 month old DD, then me then DH so now we're all full of it. DD is exclusively breastfeeding and DH sleeps in the spare room so that he has enough rest for work as DD still wakes a few times overnight. This cold seems to come with one day of feeling really rotten, thankfully then gets a bit better. My day was Thursday. I got no sleep at all Wednesday night and felt awful all day. Poor DD was also unwell still overnight but generally feeling okay during the day so wanted to play and be entertained of course as normal. DH set off for work as normal and of course I had no choice but to get up and get on with things whilst feeling rotten. DH's really rotten day is today and as he's not working, he's spent the majority of the day curled up feeling sorry for himself. DD will be starting bedtime routine with me soon now and although he has forced himself up to spend some time with her throughout the day, DD settles on the boob and will sleep feed on and off for 2 hours before she finally goes down to sleep so as soon as bedtime starts, DH will be free to take himself off to bed and stay curled up for the night. On my rotten day on Thursday DH didn't get home from work until 1 hour before bedtime so I had no break all day other than that quick hour.
I'm finding it hard to offer the appropriate sympathy to DH because I'm jealous. He's honestly lovely and such a good Daddy and was full of sympathy for me this week but I am very jealous of him today and therefore being unnecessarily grumpy! Even though I know he feels worse than me today.
There's nothing he can do about it; his nipples are useless. But as this is our first experience of being ill with a baby I am definitely feeling the injustice of how much more my life has been impacted by having a baby than DHs.... I adore DD, please don't get me wrong, but I find myself reminiscing of colds gone by where I did nothing but feel sorry for myself and watch Netflix! Ahh good (ish) times.

OP posts:
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 05/09/2020 19:37

Totally not unreasonable to be jealous.
Have you considered scheduling your delayed poorly day for tomorrow, and handing off the baby to DH for as much 9f the day as possible? That's what we did when I was on mat leave and couldn't take a day off

mylittleavalon · 06/09/2020 22:14

Absolutely understand how you feel. Agree with pp can you give him baby, stay in bed, he delivers baby when needs feeding and takes away again. That's what my husband does when I'm ill. Now DD is on three meals plus a day its a lot easier and DH can make up for all the times he had peace while DD was breastfeeding. That time will come for you too!!

Dee1975 · 06/09/2020 22:59

You are not unreasonable. Just a normal human! I still remember the time DH went off to work and was away for 2 nights while I had the worst cold ever with DD at only a few months old ...
I’ve still not quite forgiven him (I am being unreasonable I know!) 8 years on ....

ellentree · 06/09/2020 23:21

I had a minor op on the 24th March - yes I was lucky it could still go ahead, but my sick leave was spent in pain trying to home school! I was so looking forward to 3 days watching Netflix. I haven't had a day off work sick in maybe 10 years and then it fell just as my children were at home all the time and no friends and family were allowed to help! (Husband at work).

I feel for you OP!

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