To ask why ex's family show me more respect now I have a partner

[RPL19517]

Ex has no contact with our children but his family do (mum and sister). We get on ok for the kids' sake but they aren't people I would choose to have as friends, we're very different. Over the years his mum especially has been quite critical of my parenting, nosey and overbearing. I am now with a lovely DP and her behaviour has really changed. She seems almost, scared to say anything? I've noticed she now keeps her opinions to herself and shows me more respect. Whilst I prefer this, I also find it really fucking annoying. I feel she is only doing it because there is a "man around" and I should of been shown this respect before! AIBU?

I think she's feeling vulnerable to you stopping contact now that you have a "new family" so she's on her best behaviour.

@RandomMess I think this is spot on. She probably thought she could have her way being nosy and overbearing forever but now realises you’re quite capable of meeting someone else and not listening to her. I would just enjoy that she’s off you back now

Backward people see women's value in terms of their connection to a man. You have a man, therefore you have value again. She doesnt respect you - she respects the new head of household (in her eyes). Just enjoy the peace and quiet, she'll never change.

She’s definitely keeping quiet in case you stop her contact now you have a new partner. I guess you either accept the new normal or you tell her that you’ll never stop her seeing her gc so if she could drop the fake persona you’d be grateful!

I think you're all right. I would never stop her seeing her GC but this does bug me! She is nice as pie to DP. She really did used to talk to me like I was a child. All the things I've done for my kids as a single mum yet having a partner is the only thing that earns her respect

I actually don't think it's respect. It's keeping you sweet incase you choose him over them... Twisted mind set but I can see why they would think that as her son and your kids dad isn't on the scene. She's probably realised she needs to be nice to you incase you change your mind. Which ofcourse I am sure you wouldn't but she will never know... Enjoy it!

I think it’s simply that she has seen that you have moved forward with your life. She is probably terrified you will move away and cut her out of your life!

My cousin married a fairly toxic lady. She caused a lot of family arguments and was, in the main, pretty unpleasant to us all.

They divorced (not a huge shock) and immediately all my aunts friends were telling her to keep on the right side of the ex DIL or else she would never see the kids. This fear escalated when a new man was on the scene.

This lady is awful but is treated like a princess by my aunt and uncle who live in fear they won’t see their grandchildren. Their son has the children every weekend and I don’t really understand why they feel they have to tiptoe around his ex and her new boyfriend. But they do.

@RandomMess

I think she's feeling vulnerable to you stopping contact now that you have a "new family" so she's on her best behaviour.

This was my initial thought.

Glad she’s not being mean to you anymore even if it may be for the wrongs reasons!

This would annoy me too but I agree that she’s probably wound her neck in now as you have a new family set up and she’s concerned about being pushed out.

Btw she sounds like a dick and plenty of other people in your shoes wouldn’t have put up with her shit at all.

Short answer: misogyny