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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most women are on Mumsnet?

86 replies

Hipflask08 · 05/09/2020 17:05

I often wonder how many people I know are on here. I’ve been on here 7 years now but have never told anyone. When I first joined, I thought it probably wasn’t that popular and I could easily post without anyone recognising me Grin however now I often see and hear it mentioned in the media, even endorsements on food packaging.

I think the majority of people have issues and problems with their lives and whilst talking to friends about these issues is okay, it’s not always impartial and if you have a real dilemma of a sensitive nature for instance, a good canvas of impartial opinions is surely valuable.

Also, sometimes you just need a bitch/ moan about friends and family members and to know whether you’re being unreasonable and it’s nice to know that you can anonymously vent!

AIBU to think that due to all the above, and the fact that there’s so much parenting, lifestyle, health, beauty advice etc that MOST women must be on here, browsing these forums?

OP posts:
ChesterDrawsDoesntExist · 05/09/2020 18:39

This is why none of my posts are every fully truthful/accurate.

I'll say teen DD when I mean DS, or boyfriend when I am married. MIL didn't show for DDs 1st birthday? It was a Christening. My Council flat? Maybe it's really a 5 bedroom bungalow. I chop and change bits randomly because things can be so outing from just one truthful detail or you can be saved from recognition when someone reads your posts and says, "OMG it's Karen!! Oh, wait, it can't be, Karen has two boys and a girl. I guess our story happens to more people...."

ChesterDrawsDoesntExist · 05/09/2020 18:41

@Hipflask08

I’m not a mum FWIW. As said in my OP, I haven’t told anyone IRL that I frequent this forum and in fact, it was mentioned to me once by someone at work and I deliberately looked blank and said ‘oh I don’t think I know that forum.’

I guess what I’m trying to say is that people not mentioning Mumsnet may be deliberate. If you do post on here and would like some anonymity then broadcasting that you’re on here to your group of friends probably wouldn’t be very wise.

That’s why I think more women in our peer groups are probably on here than we think.

I always say "Netmums" ::spits:: when talking to friends. If I ever mentioned this site they may come on and recognise me and my many, MANY aliases.
nosswith · 05/09/2020 18:44

I doubt if most women are.

jessstan2 · 05/09/2020 18:45

I don't know about most but a lot of women do post on here, from all walks of life, married, in partnership, separated, divorced, parents, step parents, not parents, grandparents.....working/not working, etc.

I'm very glad Mumsnet wasn't around when I had a baby, I think I'd have been totally confused and was much better playing by ear and instinct. It's lovely here for someone like me who knows what it is like to have been married and a parent but is now older.

I can imagine myself as a young person talking about sex and relationships.

There's something for everyone. I quite enjoy Mumsnet and, like the op, looked occasionally before I joined.

TableFlowerss · 05/09/2020 18:45

I try to change a few things when I refer to a personal situation. If IRL it refers to DD, on here I’ll say DS, so if anyone did recognise the situation, would hopefully think ‘it can’t be x as she has a DS/DD’

I try and make the situation very similar but I’ll perhaps tweet a few insignificant things that don’t bare any weight on the opinions/advice I’m looking for etc....

I once posted about a situation and I was using us DD when IRL it was DS and I mixed it up in my replies a couple of times and you should have seen the stick I got 🙄 as if I want to be identified in real life.....

It is a great site and I love it in general. Mine are young young anymore so I don’t tend to need it as much for child related things but fevers life things it’s a god send.

I used to be on the other one fir about 7 years but then it went like a ghost town. I came over here and I’ve never looked back.

Ironmanrocks · 05/09/2020 18:46

I'm not on Mumsnet....

TableFlowerss · 05/09/2020 18:46

Tweek not tweet

SomeonesRealName · 05/09/2020 18:46

I only know one or two people in RL who are on here. I'm sure most people read the occasional article as lots of links on Google.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/09/2020 18:46

No, most people I know haven’t a clue about Mumsnet. . I have been here many years and now have adult children, no one I have ever known has ever - ever - mentioned Mumsnet. Even when I drop it into a conversation they look blank.

Doliv63 · 05/09/2020 18:54

TBH my daughter is horrified I look at MN ! I only joined a few months ago to get some ideas about how parenting is these days! I think there is a lot of help and support in some areas and in other areas I actually find it shocking how entitled a lot of parents feel! Also think that people can be very personal and unkind.

AudTheDeepMinded · 05/09/2020 19:08

I know a couple of people who have obviously been on MN, don't know if they actually post or not. One particular friend and I send one another good threads, the sort that either make it to classics because they are so funny, or are WTF in some way.

PastelPompoms · 05/09/2020 19:11

Most? ShockNo way! Most of my mummy friends have never even heard of it!

DGRossetti · 05/09/2020 19:13

Welcome to the internet, where men are men ... and so are most of the women ...

(Old 90s joke that I was reminded of, seeing the thread title in "trending).

As you were Smile

Ginfilledcats · 05/09/2020 19:18

My mum, aunts and I all found out each other are on here regularly but we don't know each other's usernames (or at least, I don't know theirs - they might know mine - eek!) and we often discuss posts like "did you see that one in AIBU about x"

If we post now I imagine we all change the details quite significantly to try and keep our disguises up.

SIDE NOTE: we had a good laugh about how we "pronounce" the AIBU acronym
Me: "ay boo"
Mum: "ay ee boo"
Aunt 1: "ay aye be you"
Aunt 2: "ay aye be oo"
Sensible aunt: "am I being unreasonable"

The husbands were all very intrigued/weirded out at what we were laughing aboutGrin

Ginfilledcats · 05/09/2020 19:19

Damn, that anecdote will probably out me!!! Hi mum! waves

BigBlondeBimbo · 05/09/2020 19:19

I do tell people I'm on here and my friends all roll their eyes 😂. But maybe it's all a ruse and they secretly love it!

I had heard of Mumsnet and it had been in the news before I joined, but I thought it was just for mums. I came across some threads when googling stuff while desperately TTC and looking for tips! Ended up stumbling on to a thread where someone, like me, was feeling down about not conceiving and they got their arse handed to them, because they'd only been at it for a few months and they probably weren't ready for parenthood if that was getting them down. Classic! I fled.

Then I did fall pregnant and joined for the pregnancy boards, which were amazing. I never ventured off the pregnancy and childbirth board until after I had dc1 and now I'm a fucking AIBU addict Blush.

Anyway, most of my local friends, (aside from school mums etc, who I don't know well enough to chat mumsnet crap), don't have children. The only one apart from me who does have children, is a high flyer and always busy socially as well. I can't imagine her having much time to be on mumsnet, but maybe she does dip in and out. It takes up a lot of my time, but that's because, as I say, I'm addicted! So maybe she does use it, but a lot more moderately than I do.

Autumnsloth · 05/09/2020 19:23

My RL mum friends are on here for sure. My RL non friends are definately not, and seem to think we are all morally dubious idiots (I keep quiet in my avid mumsnetting and smile politely, secretly thinking: Biscuit)

WaltzfortheMars · 05/09/2020 19:25

No clue. Certainly I never talk about MN in real life. So I don't know if any of my friends/people I know are on here or not.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 05/09/2020 19:27

@ceeveebee - yes, very confusing. I don't know how they can have 10 million unique users per month but have fewer than 2 million account holders. I'm guessing they mean people looking but not contributing. But 10 million? yeah right.

user127819 · 05/09/2020 19:30

10m unique users a month, but does that include everyone who just finds a Mumsnet thread in a Google search and reads it?

Autumnsloth · 05/09/2020 19:31

Tbf this is a forum where people name change whenever they have a slightly embarrassing or outing story, so I well believe they have loads of new accounts a month... Whether they are new users though is another question.

Redwinestillfine · 05/09/2020 19:31

I would guess some of my friends are on here but it's not the sort of thing we'd own up to...

SunbathingDragon · 05/09/2020 19:47

Other than those I have met through this site (which is a huge number Grin) none of my RL friends admit to using it, although I am very open about the fact I do so I don’t see why they wouldn’t.

NewFactsEmerge · 05/09/2020 20:01

10m unique users a month, but does that include everyone who just finds a Mumsnet thread in a Google search and reads it?

Yes

NewFactsEmerge · 05/09/2020 20:04

Seven million UK subscribers in the UK, 34 million women live in the UK

So no, not most. 20% of UK women

Also I'm sure I'm not the only one with more than one account. I've actually signed up three times over the years, and many people will have done more than once.