Is I don’t know what my plans are yet the same as I’ll wait and see if I get a better offer

[Newpuppymummy]

Invited a friend down for a weekend. Her response was she wasn’t sure what she was doing yet? Am I unreasonable to think this just means she’s waiting to see if she gets a better offer?

I think for a lot of people it is just they can’t commit. They feel anxious about it and so they like to leave their options open. NOT because they have a better offer but because they anxiety they would feel about it is too much.

Is always say- I’m not sure I have to double check this that or the other. But I do come back to them quickly and say yes. I have a turned who always is flakey and non committal and then often cancels last minute.
She doesn’t get invited to many places anymore.

If I said that it would mean I had potentially arranged something else but wasn't sure if it was going ahead, or waiting for others to confirm.
I might also say it if I actually didn't want to meet.
I don't think I would say that if I was thinking I might get a better offer.

I have a friend who never accepts an invitation until he finds out who else is coming. I find that quite rude (because he thinks it will be boring if it's only me - not because he dislikes other friends)

I agree, it is rude.

I think it's fine to say I need to check with DH/check my calendar etc if you let people know quickly, but just keeping people hanging is so annoying and says a lot about how much they mean to you.

I used to have friends who did this all the time, they're not my friends any more! Ain't got time for that shit.

If I said that it would usually be because I can't remember what else I have going on that day / weekend.

If it's something that requires an outlay of cash, it might be a case of "I don't know if I'll be able to afford it yet, I'll need to work out nearer the time".

It might be a case of "I know my husband (or whoever) discussed doing X on that day but we haven't actually solidified any plans yet and so I have no idea if I'm free".

Don't always assume the worst of people!

I would say that if I had already discussed arranging something with someone else, but it wasn't confirmed yet. So I don't yet know if I am going to be free or not.

But I never arrange anything verbally anyway; I ask people to message me about it so I can check my calendar at home.

I agree with your assumption.
If it's a question of checking with a dp, seeing if a babysitter is available then I'd say let me get back to you after I check with dp/babysitter so you know I'd like to see you but those 2 factors might prevent meeting up.