Resignation might cause difficulties

[CharDee]

I resigned from my role as nursery manager earlier this week. I work 3 long days and then one normal day. My new role is term time 8-4, still 4 days and pays more money than I get at the moment.

The nursery has been struggling for a while now and the owner is constantly telling me how tight everything is and how she struggles to pay wages each month. We lose children to local preschools and then the owner won't buy new toys and resources so the setting looks a bit tired and bare. Then COVID hit and has made things worse. She told me a couple of weeks ago that they were considering selling up or closing but told me that was confidential.

Obviously I have to think about what's best for me and my family so this new job which is safe, in a thriving setting which has full occupancy and a waiting list is the better option even before thinking about the pay and hours being better.

The owner isn't happy about my decision to leave and initially responded with "Well you're just fucking me over after everything I've done for you." Not sure exactly what she's done, I took some time off unpaid last year and the deputy manager took care of everything so that wasn't the owner supporting me! During lockdown I continued working whilst on furlough to at least try and keep the nursery going and wasn't thanked for doing this. I did say that I was worried about job security and finances and suddenly there was more money to offer me which still wouldn't be enough. I stuck with my decision and then she text me last night to say that they won't look for a new manager and so my resignation will probably mean they close and people lose their jobs. I haven't replied but feel really angry that she's put this on me when she was already talking about it.

I don't think I should withdraw my notice but would feel awful if they did close as people would lose their jobs and think that I'm to blame.

Am I doing the right thing?

Yes, you’re absolutely doing the right thing. It sounds like a highly toxic environment, and any closure is absolutely not on you.

Yes, you’re doing the right thing for yourself and your family. There’s never a perfect time to leave a role.

You’re doing the right thing. Her reaction is massively unprofessional and a clear indicator that there’s a good chance she’ll run her business into the ground and you’ll end up with no job.

If she chooses not to look for a new manager, that's not your decision, its hers.
Please don't feel guilty, you have your own family to think of, and if she chooses to close the nursery, it won't be your fault.

On the other hand, would she be open to selling the setting to you? Could you consider that? It could be a good bargain!

Absolutely doing the right thing.
It's the owners responsibility to run the organisation and keep it financially stable. You're making the right decision for you and your family. I'd make it clear to your coworkers why you're leaving before she starts blaming you for everything.

Sounds like the business is likely to go under in the foreseeable future anyway. Go to the new job you want dont hang around until it fail's (possibly leaving you owed wages)

You have done the right thing. Secured your future.

You need to get out of there. You really shouldn't have worked while on furlough. Don't let her manipulate you into staying.

You are not to blame if it closes. The manager is.
I think your new job will make you much happier

Agree with everyone else - she's taking it far too personally and isn't being professional. Her attitude would make me want to leave more! It is not your fault if anyone loses their job, it's hers for not running it properly. Definitely take the new job.

So, she told you she was thinking of selling, closing it and you sensibly found other work?

She can tell herself whatever lies she wants but you owe her nothing. Less now she has shown herself to be a selfish twat!

She’s trying to blackmail you. I am so pleased that you have a new job. You deserve it. She’s made her bed, let her lay in it!

If the nursery closes, it's because she's running it badly. Interesting that the setting you are moving to is thriving, if they can succeed and she can't, then she's the reason. And never apologise to an employer who will let you work when furloughed. I've worked for her sort, you owe her nothing. She will love having you as an excuse for folding the business though, but the other staff will know who is responsible. Clue, it's not you.

I will definitely be happier in the new setting. Being a nursery manager is stressful but I think here will just be usual day to day stuff instead if the shit I deal with at the moment! The equipment and resources are incredible and the owner has a childcare background so understands what children need. It's also part of a small chain so I would have support from other managers and an operations manager.

I wouldn't consider buying my setting. It has so much potential but needs so much work done to the building and outdoors which I wouldn't be able to afford!

Fuck that! What a nasty gaslighting bitch! How much notice do you have left? I’d get signed off for stress for the remainder and never look back. Fuck her!

She is simply trying to guilt-trip you and blame you for her own failures...

It sounds like the business is going to close no matter what you do and you need to put your own welfare first.

Do you think this person would hesitate to make you redundant for a second if she thought that would help her finances?

She just sounds like a bad boss who already didn't run her business well before Covid and who is simply not able to save it now that things are tough.

Thank you all for the reassurance. Dh came in to the nursery one day when I was deep cleaning it and just looked around and told me I needed to leave and wanted me to quit during lockdown.
I definitely feel they take me for granted. I used to do extra work on my day off but then started to put that down for my wages and suddenly I was asked to not do any work from home. I've only realised the last few months how bad it actually is there! Think I'll cartwheel out on my last day!

She's trying to guilt trip you. People like her do this all the time, their failures are everyone else's fault, but never theirs. Maybe if she wasn't so shit at running a business it wouldnt have struggled.

You are definitely doing the right thing. I have a lot of sympathy with nursery owners because if the way they are funded, but you are being treated badly, and this woman has no right to put all that guilt on you.

The new job sounds loads better.

During lockdown I continued working whilst on furlough to at least try and keep the nursery going and wasn't thanked for doing this.

This is so wrong - I do lose some sympathy with you - it's people abusing the system that is screwing over taxpayers for generations to come. Having said that, if I was the nursery owner, I'd be very worried that you would spill the beans to HMRC.

OP, you need to reply to that text and tell her that you are extremely disappointed that after she had told you that she would probably be closing she would try and rewrite history.

I would want written proof to screen shot and send to the other employees if she tries to spin some tale.

She sounds extremely unprofessional and unpleasant and I would not permit "her convenient narrative" to go unchallenged.

If you have holidays due I would take them and get out asap because of her unpleasantness and also inform your colleagues why.

Congratulations on your new position, of course you made the right decision.

Her choice not to hire a new manager is her business decision, you’re not responsible for that.

Your new job sounds better in every way, and you have to do what’s best for you. As long as you fulfil contractual obligations like notice period, you don’t owe them anything more than that

Her staffing and business worries are not your concern. Your concern is your family, and you are doing what is right for them and for you.
Stay with the new job, and good luck.
Block her number when you leave.

Please don't retract your notice, you are not responsible for the business. I really hope your new job is better

It wouldn't be your fault if the business went under. It sounds like she is a terrible businesswoman who doesn't value her staff and of course Covid won't have helped.

Get out of there and enjoy your new job!

HMRC are going to be all over furlough fraud eventually, clawing back money from companies who’ve cheated the taxpayer. Your ex boss should be worried.

Anyway, it won’t be your problem. Steer clear.

Good luck in the new role.

The reason I had to do work during lockdown was to make sure the nursery was still able to claim funding, sort out parent enquiries, speak to prospective parents and clean the nursery. If I didn't do it the nursery probably wouldn't have reopened, the owner doesn't have a clue about that kind of stuff. We were closed so we didn't have children in when I was in the building.

I've extended my notice period to 6 weeks as after the 4 weeks were up the deputy manager has days booked off and I didn't want her to have them cancelled on her. I've tried to make it as easy as possible for her but more importantly for the staff. I just hope the owner doesn't go out her way to make things difficult over the next few weeks!