Who spent their childhood in a flat?

[flatlife]

With coronavirus and all it is looking increasingly likely that my children will spend all of their childhoods in our highrise council flat. Has anyone spent their whole childhood in one without access to a garden? How did it effect you personally growing up? Did you yearn for a garden or were you happy where you were?
I just want to know what my kids are seeing through their eyes.

If it isn't obvious by the time I am posting- I woke up terrified I was destroying my children's lives so please be kind. No 'you shouldn't have had children then' if you can resist.

I've lived in Paris where pretty much everyone lives in a flat. Children just go to the park for outside space and it's quite normal. If you have a lift it's considered better to be higher up for more light.

I've raised children in a town center flat with no outside space since they were born. It was hard when they were small, but now they are older it's great living so central. They take themselves off places and don't need to be ferried around.

You will only resent a garden while the weather is nice. 2-3 months of the year so I wouldn't worry op we live in a flat with 2 kids, we just go out for walks on nice days :)

We have a garden but the older the kids get, the less they use it so I really wouldn’t worry. Plus, every adult has to have something to moan about from their childhood - the lack of garden can be their moan ;-)

It’s not quite the same but we lived in an inner city terrace with a tiny backyard, and it did make me determined to have a garden when I was grown up. But it didn’t ruin my childhood! In fact, up until 10 or 11 I don’t think it really registered as I spent most of my weekends and holidays playing out with friends from similar homes. I appreciate generally children of 7 or 8 don’t run wild nowadays like they did in the 80s, so I’d suggest making sure you take them to the local park as often as you can.

We have a garden now and DS doesn’t use it a huge amount, tbh! He’d rather be inside playing with Lego.

I grew up in a flat. I did really want a garden but my parents made sure I played outside everyday and weekend. I'm now living in a flat with my dc. We have communal gardens so I take her outside at least once a day for air and burn off some energy.
We are about to move to a house with a huge garden and tbh I'm terrified. My dh reassures me he will look after it but I can't even see the point. My dc seems very happy without a garden. It's mainly that we take her outside.

The only thing I am really looking forward to moving into a house is to stop saying no stop banging on the floor, my 6yo has some kind of magical power to transform her little feet into elephant stomps on occasion though. Not sure they're all like that.

Grew up in a flat in inner London. Most of my friends did, too, so it seemed totally normal. Didn’t even think about it, and never missed a garden as we had great parks a short walk away and there was always something to do.

I grew up in a flat without a garden. The lack of garden bothered me less than the one bathroom which we had to share - that was a nightmare when we were teenagers.

I lived in a flat until I was 12. we did however have a vast communal garden and an empty field next to it.

Please don’t feel bad OP.

You are doing a great job parenting your children- you obviously love them very much and the fact you’re up worrying about them shows this!

The only thing I’d try and do in your circs is make sure you go out every day, whatever the weather, to a park, to play football or even just a walk (obvs I’m sure you do this already!)

If you’re renting is it worth putting yourself on the council waiting list to see if you could get a ground floor place? May take years but worth a try.

Another option: if you’re remotely interested would an allotment be a possibility? Great fun for all the family and it doesn’t need to cost much. Lots of tips from other allotmenteers and gardening books at the library - would be your own plot to go to and lots of fun along the way. Maybe worth considering.

But no, please don’t worry- as long as your children get exercise and time outdoors each day- they’ll be fine.

I grew up in a flat. It wasn’t a high rise but a carved up terraced house so I was able to play out on the street.

The only lasting thing I can think of is that I’m quite sensitive to noise and to how much noise I’m making! I remember my mum always asking me to play a bit more quietly so not as to disturb the downstairs neighbours. I live in a house now and sort of still try to keep the noise levels from our kids reasonable when they are playing in the garden. My husband how grew up in a house with a massive garden thinks I’m bonkers (clearly he never had any need to be quiet as a kid!).

Honestly, I’d say a garden is a luxury so wouldn’t give it a second thought.

I grew up in a flat in the middle of London until i was 11, we played in the street or in the alley behind the buildings where the bins were kept.. However it was the late 60s / early 70s and we never thought anything of it, the whole street did the same. and it was really community based.

When i was 12 we moved to the countryside, i hated it, loads of space but no-one to play with!

I grew up in a house but remember someone I knew lived in a flat and thought it was so cool they had to walk up stairs to get into their home. I couldn't get my head around their kitchen not being on the ground floor! They were pretty proud of it too and I remember their show and tell being about their new home.

Houses are so much more expensive these days so more children than ever will grow up in flats. I know I'll never be able to afford a house anytime soon so will declare the local park as my garden.

Good thread.

I've been thinking about this, was contemplating buying a flat for me and baby DS and was worried about how he would find it growing up

We lived in a council flat until I was 13/14. We played out with others kids, and all the mums and elderly neighbours would sit outside on the doorstep. My friends from school had massive houses with gardens but we often hung out at mine.

When my parents bought a house with a garden it never felt like home. When I think of my childhood home I always think of our council place.

I grew up in a council flat. My main memories as a child:
Being able to shout down through the bathroom wall to my friends in the flat below.
Having a "club" with other neighbourhood kids in the lockups which were outside storage/bin sheds.
Standing at my bedroom window at night and being amazed at the view of the lights in the next town.
Absolutely no sense of missing out
Although I was allowed to roam around the neighbourhood (this was the early 80s) which I loved.
Don't feel bad, OP. There's nothing wrong with growing up in a flat.

I spent my whole childhood, in a council flat, sharing a room with my sibling. We had no garden. They were some of the happiest years of my life 😊 Our house was a home - we never even thought about not having a garden!

DH and I own the house we currently live in. The garden is huge. I never really do much out there - I suppose I’m just used to not having one!

Not me but both my parents did in London. Mum across the road from a large park, dad not .

We live in a house with a tiny yard. There’s enough room for a couple of chairs and a bbq but not much else.

Personally? I love a flat. Partly because it reminds me so much of my beloved grandparents flat! We’re not outdoor people. We’re city dwellers through and through. There’s a lot of very middle class mummies on here that will have you believe that without enough outdoor space for at least a large trampoline, at least two bathrooms and a bedroom per child that you must be living in the depths of poverty with your poor deprived children. As others have said, not every country is as obsessed with living in a semi detached in the ‘burbs as we are in the UK!

We have a garden and when DS was little it was wonderful - but more so for my convenience than his happiness really - he could be outside and happy without me having to take him anywhere. He was equally happy in a park or the garden. Around the age of 7-8 he completely lost interest in it - it’s small and has no trees to climb and all he wants now is to run around & climb trees in a park. We wouldn’t move somewhere bigger for more space as he’s on only child so I think it’s more important to be near lots of friends. So I don’t think your kids will miss out at all, it will be more effort for you to get them outside while they’re very little but before you know it it will make no difference either way.

I've been bringing my 3yo up in a flat. She doesn't care. She goes to the park or out on her bike etc.

She also goes to my parents a lot who have a garden so I don't think she's missing out. I'd love to have a garden but money says otherwise

I lived in a tower block until I went to secondary school, where we lived everyone lived in flats so didn’t occur to me to think anything of it. Loved that flat. My nan lived in the next block. Everyone from school lived on the estate... there was much that outweighed a garden.

Moved to a house later and it was nice, my mum got the most enjoyment from the house. Parents were then more worried about money, never had been before...

At the time if you'd ask my preference I would have said the flat a million times.

As an adult I’m glad they brought a house.