Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you’re still in contact with any school or college teachers

22 replies

thedaywewillremeber · 04/09/2020 21:59

Ds1 25 is in touch with a few but this was spoken about before he left the school with them. He wants to contact a member of staff who used to work at his old college. I’ve advised against it. Are any of you in contact with old school teachers?

OP posts:
SentientAndCognisant · 04/09/2020 22:57

Your essentially discussing you’ve discouraged your dh from contacting old teacher
Why?
What’s on your mind?why do have misigivings

Tunnocks34 · 04/09/2020 22:59

No.

As a rule though I don’t speak to passed pupils on social media until they turn 18, and even then I dont accept them as friends I just politely, and professionally respond to their messages.

Original poster
thedaywewillremeber · 04/09/2020 22:59

It’s my son. I’m worried that if he doesn’t get a response he will get upset by it.

OP posts:
BigBlondeBimbo · 04/09/2020 23:04

I'm in touch with one, but she was also my mum's friend. Otherwise, no. I'm older than your DS though, by approx 10 years!

Why does he want to contact them?

AranciaRosso · 04/09/2020 23:05

Was your kid popular at school?

SentientAndCognisant · 04/09/2020 23:06

I apologise. I inadvertently typed dh.
If your son is sensitive I’d maybe do some ground work, tell him teacher will be appreciative but may not reply
Or forewarn the teacher, that your son will be in touch ask for a reply

OwlBeThere · 04/09/2020 23:06

I am yes. My old form teacher is now a FB friend.

Original poster
thedaywewillremeber · 04/09/2020 23:06

He said they helped him a lot when he was struggling.

OP posts:
BigBlondeBimbo · 04/09/2020 23:07

@thedaywewillremeber

He said they helped him a lot when he was struggling.
So he wants to thank them? I don't see a problem.
ChickenwingChickenwing · 04/09/2020 23:08

@thedaywewillremeber

It’s my son. I’m worried that if he doesn’t get a response he will get upset by it.

He is a 25 year old man for goodness sake.

SentientAndCognisant · 04/09/2020 23:09

It’s okay to say thanks and acknowledge a +ve experience

Flamingolingo · 04/09/2020 23:11

I occasionally contact old teachers if I have something relevant to share with them, eg when I got offered an exciting new job a while back and I had cited this particular teacher as inspiration I sent him a message to thank him. I am friends on Facebook with my A level physics teacher as we share a lot of similar views. I’m Facebook friends with a couple of secondary teachers (from two decades ago). It’s nice to see how they are getting on.

Fudgewhizz · 04/09/2020 23:14

I'm in touch with a couple of my old teachers, and with some of my former pupils - all over 18 and only since I left the school as well.

qwertypie · 04/09/2020 23:19

I was in touch with one secondary school teacher for a couple of years in my 20s, because I'd gone on to uni to study the subject he taught.

I know lots of teachers who are in touch with former (now adult) pupils. I don't think it's a big deal. Teachers can play a big role in people's lives.

Cloudtraffic · 04/09/2020 23:19

Does he want additional support from teacher or just to acknowledge that he’s grateful for past responses? If former then I’d say unreasonable and he needs to get help elsewhere

qwertypie · 04/09/2020 23:21

Also, I would potentially email them if possible rather than contacting via social media... Unless they have a professional Twitter account or LinkedIn...

toiletpaper · 04/09/2020 23:33

I was a terror at school and all the teachers wrote me off but on the day of my GCSE's about 16 years ago this one teacher I always respected and who's lessons I actually attended came up to me and asked how I'd gotten on and congratulated me. I added him on facebook a few years ago and he accepted, I was very proud to let him know that I'd gone on to do a very respected professional job after going to uni as a mature student and that I'll never forget how his faith in my ability makes me feel all these years later.

ouch321 · 04/09/2020 23:35

Phone school and ask for work email ID.
I love hearing from former students how they're getting on.
Not a teacher to be specific but something related.

BackforGood · 04/09/2020 23:51

20 years after leaving ? Fine.
Close after leaving - not fine.

People will have a different view on how long the gap needs to be.
Even then, many teachers won't want to mix up their private social media with former pupils. It could get too complicated with who the pupils are also friends with etc etc even 10 years after leaving.

If your son wants to thank them, or ask for support with something, then e-mail via the colleage address and keep it professional.

ColdCottage · 04/09/2020 23:54

I'm friends with three of my uni lectures on FB and connected with more on LinkedIn.

Maybe set up a LinkedIn profile if he doesn't want to just call up the school and ask to speak to them or for their work email.

I don't see the problem unless he wants to ask them out.

ddl1 · 05/09/2020 00:22

I was in touch with my old nursery school teacher for many years even when I was an adult! I know quite a few people who've been in touch with ex-teachers at least for a while. If there are particular reasons for not supporting contact with this particular teacher, that's one thing; but there is nothing wrong with contacting your ex-teachers as such.

WeMarchOn · 05/09/2020 00:25

My form tutor is now my daughters science teacher

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread