Child contact with father

[Whostolemychocolate]

What happens with contact once you've split up ?
How often do your children see their fathers?
I'm not keen for dd to go to her dads every weekend for the full weekend as I feel once she's at school I won't have that quality time with her, just wondering what others do

Exactly, it depends on individual circumstances and there are plenty of cases where it might be best for the kids to stay with Dad and only “have contact” with Mum every now and then.

If the kids are old enough (10 plus?) it should be as much their decision as the parents.

My parents split when I was 6yo and they agreed 50/50 between themselves, meaning I would spend 3 weeks at a time with each parent. I grew to hate it and but the time I was 13-14 I was really resentful that my life was lived out of a suitcase between houses.

Parents need to listen to their DC, particularly when they are of an age to articulate their wants and needs without a manipulative parent chirping in their ear.

50/50 is definitely not always in a child’s best interests - it’s a very individual situation, and parents should not just decide what suits them best.

DD used to go to her dad's EOW and 1/2 of the holidays until I put a stop to it due to some serious concerns (still facilitated contact throughout but not overnights). We're just returning to regular overnight contact now but DD has asked that it isn't EOW and 1/2 holidays due to wanting to see friends more often (she's now 12).

I agree that 50:50 is not always in the child's best interests, as they deserve to be looked after by a competent parent for the majority of the time (not casting aspersions as to which parent could be the more competent), but in the cases where it isn't I think that EOW and 1/2 the holidays is reasonable if they're able to keep the child safe, healthy and happy during the period of time they're responsible for them.