If you don’t work, what do you do

[C4tintherug]

For the first time in my life, I’m unemployed. I’ve been sitting at home since March and have no idea how to fill my days. Every morning I start the day with an hours exercise and then I don’t know what else to do.
I’ve spent all day crying today, I just feel like I have nothing to fill my time with. I’m searching for work. My own children are teenagers and don’t need “looking after” like young children.

well i have a "little job" for 2-3 hours a day, but i've never got enough time in the day. i did have a very difficult period that lasted 8 years before when i was ill and going through a generally difficult time and a lot of stuff slid, so i'm still catching up on the garden wilderness and decluttering the house. then it will need decorating as it's been a very long time since it was done. there's my dad whose 95 and still independent, i go over a couple of times a week minimum to do his housework/laundry/put his bins out. it's been every day this week. i never have enough time to do all the things i'd like to do. however when this not working first started 2 years ago, i felt very sad, empty and unmotivated so my advice would be to hold fire and see what develops, things have a way of working themselves out 2 years ago i was around and emotionally available to support my dad as my mums (undiagnosed back then) vascular dementia spiralled downwards very dramatically and fight social services to get what she was entitled to. what a job that turned out to be, but she's safe and settled now in a nursing home up there road from dad. it did make me wonder if things happen for a reason!

Thanks for the suggestions. I will definitely look into volunteering, I like the idea of a charity shop or similar.
I am fortunate that my husband is working and on a good salary so money is not an issue (not rich, but we can pay the mortgage). I already cook from scratch, meal plan, do the finances, the house is “done” as it was on the market until our circumstances changed.
My job was a huge part of my identity, I miss it so much. Everyone keeps saying how lucky I am to have time at home but it’s so lonely and every single day is the same.

There is a local board on here. Perhaps you can ask if someone wants a meet up?

@C4tintherug it is lonely, and I feel like I can never complain about it as I'm seen as "lucky" although it doesn't feel it with the illnesses I have.

Volunteering has given me an identity, and a purpose.

I find knitting and crochet good as I have something to show for my time and I can make things for charity.

Are there any adult learning courses running, socially distanced of course?

Meetup.com is good for local groups, with so many working shifts there might be a weekday morning walk and talk group?

I get the feeling of everyday being groundhog day. I feel like that often. The best thing is a distraction, whether that is a hobby, volunteering or simply going for a walk. Try not to get into a routine (I know it isn't easy) because that will make it worse.

I wish I had suggestions to beat the loneliness, it's the one I still struggle with. Are there any groups you could join? Volunteering would allow you to meet people/socialise as well. Best of luck to you.

I assume you worked full-time OP so this will take time to adjust. I've just been made redundant but I only worked 3/4 days so I had other interests to keep me busy in the week.

Firstly don't be hard on yourself. Since not working I am making time to exercise, no excuses as I have the time! Mix your exercise up walking, cycling, pilates, weights so something different each day.

I volunteer one morning a week plus I do the admin for this position so that takes up another morning. I try to do something for me, meet a friend for coffee or occasionally lunch, used to be weekly pre-lockdown now a bit more spread out. I still have school run to factor in. Things like food shop, washing, ironing, cleaning and the dreaded paperwork can take a couple of hours most days.

I have decided I am on a massive de-clutter so perhaps plan a project or learn something new. I am open to work but having worked for the same company for 14 years I am taking my time and not rushing into anything, which I know how lucky I am. Good luck OP.

@C4tintherug

OP do you mind me asking what kind of industry you were in? Only because im trying to think of ways you could shoehorn your passion for your former role into something similar but in a different format.

What was it about the role you liked? The people you worked with? Helping people? The job role itself and the skills it required? Once you get down to the nitty gritty of your WHY then hopefully you will find a catalyst to move forward.

Hope you are feeling better now!

I’m retired, which is a bit different. I read, do a lot of crafts ( I have a lifetimes worth of wool and stuff to use up) volunteer one day a week in a charity shop, mess about on social media, garden intermittently, occasional DIY.

A change like this is hard.

Loss of status and purpose shouldn't be underestimated, and it takes time to adjust.
Give yourself that space, grieve a little, do things you didn't have time for previously and build up your networks.
This book has helped me:
g.co/kgs/WBFHB6