To want to be home by 6.30?

[Neuwanda]

I have a mid level professional position in a financial company. I have been on maternity leave for a year, and will be heading back to the office next week. Already they have scheduled meetings with me almost every day after 7pm. This would mean that I see my children very little / not at all in the evenings.

My position is fairly stressful and bureaucratic, but only moderately salaried (Im not one of the massive high earners I often see on here).

AIBU To expect that most mid level jobs shouldn't expect you to stay at work until 8pm (I start at 9am)?

YABU: You should do what they ask. If you dont like it get a new job.
YANBU: This should not be an expectation from your employer (of course with exceptions for jobs where long hours are explicitly required).

7pm meetings in the office is ridiculous - and I say that as someone who does some 5am/10pm online meetings, but I am home based and work in a global team. However, I have my diary blocked to not accept meetings before 8am and after 6pm automatically, and will not do any routine meetings or internal meetings outside that unless the sky was falling.
Set the expectations now, and refuse those 7pm meetings - it's not good for anyone to be in the office that long whether they have children or not, and you need a work/life balance

Was it expected before Mat leave? Is it generally part of the job and of similar jobs to yours?

YANBU. Business critical meetings I can cope with being after normal working hours. Otherwise they should be in normal working hours. Or you should be paid a premium for essentially being on call.

Depends what is in your contract. Where you doing these hours before maternity leave?

YANBU but perhaps they are doing so as they mistakenly believe you will be working from home and that it is actually the best time to get you if doing flexi hours . Did you do those kind of hours before? I had a similar role and have swapped roles within the organisation. Pick them up on it and ask that these are rescheduled. Presumably your contracted hours are 9 to 5 or 6?

Are you opted out of the 48-hour maximum working week?

You could bung in a flexible working request - they're not just for requesting part-time, they can also be used to request a particular working pattern. If you request to work 9 - 5.30 each day (or perhaps 4 days a week if you think there's a good reason for some after-hours meetings), then they at least have to justify it if they say no. If they say yes, you've then got it in writing that you can leave at 5.30. And either way, if HR aren't aware of what's going on, it wil bring it to their attention.

You've provided little information such as:

How long were you in this position before you went on maternity leave? Is this applied just to you and your team or is it applied to everyone and you have only just realised because it only now has a direct impact on you?

I think YABU because I think it's unlikely this has just been sprung out of nowhere all of a sudden.

Its a salaried position with no fixed hours (but an expectation we work at least 40 hours a week). Before Mat leave I had the odd late meeting, but only if really necessary and discussed prior to scheduling.

What has really annoyed me is that these meetings have appeared in my agenda and I haven't even started working yet.

I don’t know what you think of as highly salaried but the two most senior people at my place of work earn £110K & £75k and would never have a meeting that time themselves let alone expect staff to.

Very occasionally a committee meeting will be in the evening but it’s by agreement and you get given dinner. About 4-6 times a year max.

Nope! That’s ridiculous! Occasionally maybe but not on a regular basis - knock this on the head now and refuse - why can’t you have a meeting in the day ?

I think you need to speak to them positively proactively or whatever the gab is in that kind of company (sorry if I sound dismissive but it sounds like the wrong place for a parent really- unless you want to take on that battle?) . can you propose you do this via Teams or Zoom? offer them solutions or whatever so you can have a family life, coz its not a lifestyle I wpuld choose personally

YANBU, ludicrous to schedule meetings at that time.

Is this part of their COVID response to avoid rush hour? It might be that they wouldn’t expect you in until much later? Agree that should be discussed with you in advance and a request and putting in calendar adds pressure which isn’t needed

Its not related to Covid as far as I know. Just scheduled late (I imagine) because its the time that all attendees are ‘free’.

@stovetopespresso : I suppose I should talk to my boss. I am just a bit hesitant at making a bad impression directly after returning to work. It seems very cliche and sorta wimpy. I want to work hard and do a good job... but need to see my kids as well 🤔

It's never wimpy to tell your boss you won't be attending meetings at a baby's bedtime.

@turnthebiglightoff

It's never wimpy to tell your boss you won't be attending meetings at a baby's bedtime.

This.

Can’t you say you’ll go home and zoom in from there? Is it all face to face? In a massive meeting room (social distancing requirements...)

Well, I am in a senior role and meetings stop at 530.

I am also a school governor, and those meetings take place in the evening.

I can see both sides, in a way

I have noticed the working day is much longer since Covid and wfh.

The email traffic is intense from before 8am and doesn’t stop up until after seven. In my industry people wouldn’t have generally rung after 5pm, unless it was urgent. Now everyone is at home and constantly available. Email responses are expected immediately, and being in a meeting is no excuse, because meetings are over computer and you can multi task!

But you need to be firm. I wouldnt expect anyone in my team to attempted meetings after 5:30pm. Most managers wouldn’t. Be swear about what hours you can work and stick to it.

It’s okay to occasionally work late, and be flexible. But don’t let it become the norm

Just say it doesn’t work for you. When my employer was bought out, the acquiring Company had some very strange ideas.

I am still battling against meetings being booked with less than 24 hours notice, but I just refuse them. Recently I had a day booked for meetings on a Tuesday, about a week before the date it swapped to Wednesday, then the day before they booked a meeting at 6, I (truthfully) said I finish at 5.30 and have booked a personal appointment at 6.30 so cannot do a 6pm. They accepted it.

I am sometimes expected to be on other parts of the country early, I just say I’ll need to travel The day before as I won’t get there,

That's a bizarre time for meetings. I'm in a job where we work long hours and regularly over run until the evening - but NEVER for scheduled meetings! Emergencies or crisis response yes, meetings no. The only people I know who do this are for global teams with time differences but that's very specific. It's not just to being a parent, noone wants their evenings taken up with work that can and should be scheduled for the working day, it's bad planning and a meeting at the end of a long day is never going to be very productive. Stick to your guns, and check how long you need to work there for to keep your mat pay!

Just decline them.

I think this is unacceptable for this to be a regular occurrence. I agree with @Merryoldgoat My DH is a Partner, so takes his laptop on holiday/ is contactable in an emergency, so he might schedule a meeting at this time for the Partners but not for staff. You are entitled to family life OP.

op as uve bothered to post on here its obv unacceptable to you, you can't not talk to them as a first step surely. do u thhink they're taking the piss and trying to push you out?