Lodger caused damage - how to deal?

[Snorkers]

I was hoovering the landing today, my lodger always leaves his door open for me to vac his room and I noticed he has got multiple plants, seedling trays and saucers of compost on the (my) lovely oak coffee table and when I looked closer the table is water damaged. I'm obviously annoyed especiallyaas I told him not to put plants on another wooden furniture item in the room as water damages wood. He's in his 30s so not a child.

Normally I'd probably be too anxious about confronting him but I am trying to improve my assertiveness skills as I find it hard to be assertive without getting angry and on a flap. he's moving out next month anyway so a good chance to practice.

Can I get your tips on how to approach him and deal with this please?

What would you like him to do? Is it repairable or would it need to be replaced?

I think it could be sanded down and recoiled. I could probably do this.

Are you aware of your rights and his? Do you have any kind of written agreement?

This is an informal lodger arrangement, we agreed in writing any damages would be paid for.

Maybe checking if they are cannabis plants would be an idea here op..
Or a table will be the least of your worries...

Lol. Not cannibis.

Tell him you're furious, insist ALL the plants go outside and stay there. Tell him you'll be retaining his entire deposit until the damged table has been professionally repolished.

 Sadly, he's probably caused a lot more damage you haven't spotted yet.

What is wrong with getting angry when he has done what you specifically told him not to do to your property? Not suggesting you scream and shout, but say you are angry at the damage. As a minimum he will need to pay for the repair.
"I asked you not to put plants on wooden surfaces as it damages them, so I am annoyed to find that the coffee table has been used in that way, and has water damage."

Nothing wrong with being angry but I start shaking and lose track of what I want to say, I have major issues with confrontation and avoid it at all costs.
I just spoke to him, kept it factual and am shaking like anything....

It would have to be along the usual lines of rental damages, I expect.

How old is the coffee table; How much did it cost; How much will the repair cost?

I think accidents happen. If the table was so important that you didn't want it damaged, you shouldn't have put it in a lodger's room.
I see you've already raised it with him, so I hope you get resolution without any drama - sometimes things just happen, and if he accepts responsibility that's great for you.

It's not that the table is so important, i expect people living with me to behave like adults! Growing a small nursery of plants on an indoor coffee table and damaging isn't an accident

Why are you vacuuming his room?

Totally ignoring the point of the post, and being a keen gardener, I am curious as to what he could be cultivating at the arse end of summer (assuming you are in the uk and not Australia). Does he ultimately have a patch of your garden for these plants? My only thought would be that they are smokeable, unless he growing mustard and cress? Very strange indeed.

I'm vacuuming because he is a lodger and that's what we've agreed and he pays extra for. Irrelevant to this post.
no idea what he's growing but that's a good point. No he does not have access to a garden.

It's a lot of fuss over nothing if you ask me. Don't give furniture to lodgers if you want it to come back the way you lent it. Also put a table cloth down to protect it.

He's allowed plants. YABU.

He took the tablecloth off!

I’d suggest something along the lines of “oi roger, what are you planning on doing about the table you’ve damaged? Needs sorting before you leave” then a nice big smile brings it up as a bit jokey so avoids direct confrontation but makes him aware that you’ve noticed and it needs sorting.

Unfortunately it's one of those things. I think you will have to take it out of his deposit. Next time just put cheap furniture in his room