Changing Schools for no reason?

[sef23]

Hi

Ive posted about this before. 3 years ago we left the village in wales we live where the children were in a welsh school to move to swansea where the children could go to an English language primary. They missed their friends, grandparents, cousins too much so after 3 months we moved back.

Over lockdown we found ourselves to be complete bystanders in their education again. Everything in Welsh, childrens Welsh not up to scratch, us unable to help. So we did what we could and homeschooled (us and online tutors) excuslively in English.

This made us make up our mind to move back to swansea and put the kids back into an english primary. The village we are in apart from family and kids friends is a dead end with not much going for it, but however getting mad nerves again, one of the two kids whose last year it is in primary doesnt want to leave and has been crying. We would normally let him finish this last year but have to get his english up to scratch for english secondary next year.

Confused.com, should we stay or should we go.

It doesn't sound like you're moving for no reason at all. It sounds necessary!

That sounds like an awful lot of upheaval and toing and froing. Surely if you all speak English at home, their English can't be that bad and they'll soon catch up to the others when you eventually move.

It's a tricky one but personally, I'd wait another year until the oldest finishes primary. They are probably anxious enough about going back after homeschooling and this could add to the stress.

bump

If you can sort out tutors etc for other things, why not Welsh? It should be easier for them to learn it than you (though you could make some effort anyway - I am learning Welsh and I don't even live there). You could have used the last few months to focus on them learning Welsh intensively before they went back to school, instead of doing the set work.

They will have much better prospects if they are fluent in Welsh, and it's going to be taught solely as a first language soon anyway, regardless of school.

So YABU, as you already know you will miss everyone as you have done it before! And that is a lot of stress for them, to be messed around like that.

Hi People, the most indecisive person in the world still here, some advice again please.

So first week went in their new English primary, daughter surprisingly loved it, son in tears daily begging to go back to their old school.

we havent moved this time to our house in the city just driving back and forth daily about 45 minutes either way.

2nd week of school son had a temperature, i called the school to say he would be off due to this, they said he must quarantine for 10 days and sister for 14. Thereby totally messing up their bedding in faze. Cue more begging from son, pls put me back into my old school. Doesnt help they see their old friends in the park daily.

So i gave in and applied back to their old school. They had place made immediately for them.

Background, old school welsh, not that good of a school, headmaster was off ill for 1 year, left the school, interim head for 1 year, school without leadership. Other tops league tables.

Ofcourse issue of all family being in old area which kids will miss when we eventually move to house near new English primary. i onow only 45 mins away but reality is wont see them much apart from odd weekends etc .

About to have a breakdown, pls help!

I think you need to make a decision and stick to it. A week in a school is not long enough to decide whether they like it or not, and you are the adult making the decision, not your child. You decided to move them for good reasons, none of those have changed.

You also need to separate the education from living near extended family issue. If your oldest is nearly secondary school age, I suggest the children will naturally want to see their extended family less over coming years anyway.

Very confused, however, by the temperature issue. The process should be that your household self-isolate while you get a test (if you can) for the child with symptoms. Any school would insist you did this. And, if you didn't get a test -and are just sitting out the self-isolation period, then they shouldn't be in any school or in the park.

You need to pick one and stick with it. You're really wrecking their education with all this moving about. How can they settle if you move them again?

Just keep them in the english school and stop moving them. You son can see his friends outside of school. Why on earth would you transfer back to lesser standard school Welsh or not

Please stop switching schools! Your children can deal with feeling sad or out of place for a few weeks this is a normal part of life and dealing with it helps build resiliency. However if every time they cry and say they're not happy you try to switch schools you're not helping them learn anything, and you are really doing them a disservice.

We were unhappy with my second child's school and we switched him. The first weeks were a challenge but when he had a bad day and asked if he could switch again we said no, this is your new school and it's going to be great and he accepted that and it went really well.
You're the adult and you set the tone.

It’s like the Hokey Cokey. You need to be the adults here.

I don’t understand why you have moved them back and forwards so many times. Pick one school and send your kids there. It’s no wonder the older child is crying about going to school, he’s probably so mixed up and feeling unstable because he hasn’t had the chance to properly settle.

You need to make a decision and stick to it, based on what you as a parent thinks is best for your children- not on where their extended family lives, or their friends. It’s hard sometimes to know what to do- I’ve been there. It took one of my children a full 6 months to settle into a new school. There was a lot of tears and wanting to go back to their old school. Got there in the end though.

Jesus Christ. If I have this right you moved them to English school, then back to Welsh, then back to English, for an entire week, then back to Welsh and now you're considering moving them back to the English school again?! Don't, seriously. You are an adult and should be able to make decisions for your kids and step up heaving them like this! Leave them at the Welsh school

So i gave in and applied back to their old school. They had place made immediately for them

Oh for fuck sake. You are not helping them here. It takes more than five minutes to settle into a new environment - and it is your job as their parent to support them through it not to bail at the first tiny hurdle and teach them they're incapable and should give up at the first sign of difficulty.

What do you expect us to say? If you're stressed it's because you've brought it on yourself and don't listen - if you move them yet again it won't be for the children's benefit it will be because you're running away from managing difficult feelings. Selfish.

Do not fucking move them again. That's not fair. The more you try and run from difficult feelings the bigger they become.

It’s no wonder the older child is crying about going to school, he’s probably so mixed up and feeling unstable because he hasn’t had the chance to properly settle.

Exactly. Take some bloody responsibility.

Your poor children! It’s bad enough that they’re chopping and changing schools every time the wind changes direction, but they have to swap primary language each time too.

Be the parent. Make a decision and stick to it. For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have changed my child’s school in the final year of primary school unless it was absolutely dire.