To expect my 3 month old to sleep?

[OnSilverStars]

DC2 is 3 months old. We got her down about 11pm last night. It's 6am now and she's awake.

She woke up 6 times in between. She doesn't always want to be fed, sometimes a few sucks and she's back to sleep in my arms. However when try to put her down, she wakes up and the process starts again. It often takes 30 mins to get her back to sleep and she sleeps for about an hour and the process starts again

With my DS he woke 3-5 times a night until he was 9 months. DD is worse. We've tried leaving her to cry a few mins buts she's only little. Tried rocking her cot a bit etc

We did some very gentle sleep training with my DS at 9 months and I stopped breastfeeding and he slept through.

I'm thinking 3 months is too early for the same?

Am I just being unreasonable? Are my expectations unrealistic? I just want her to wake a couple times a night for a feed

Ans she only sleeps a couple hours during the day maybe two 45 minute naps

I'm just feeling sorry for myself

She’s a perfectly normal 3 month old. Can you get (or improvise) a cot that connects to your bed? Makes life a lot easier.

I wouldn't expect a 3 month old to sleep through, but I don't think you are unreasonable to expect her to wake less often!
Does she have a dummy? If not, I would introduce one immediately seeing as she seems to need the comfort of sucking.

Are you putting her down awake or at least, not fully asleep?

None of mine slept through until nearly a year and even then my eldest would still wake most nights and need settling. My youngest would only sleep on me for a few months from about three months old. I think you’re expecting too much sorry

Oh god I feel your pain been there.

I bought the baby whisperer and it really did help. You can download it

I second the recommendation of a dummy! I hated the idea of dummies and told my husband our daughter would never have one, was waking 5-6 times during the night for comforting, he gave her a dummy one night as if fallen asleep early and she's now sleeping from 8 or 9, waking at 2-3am for a feed and nappy change then back to sleep straight away and up for the day at between 6-7am at only 9 weeks old.would not be without the dummy now!

All babies are different, 3 months is still young and plenty of babies wake through the night.
My DD is 3 months and didn’t wake up as much but still whinged sometimes when put back in cot. She naps the same as yours and goes to bed with me 10-11pm, wakes for feed once or twice. A sleeping bag really helped with her settling to sleep so try one if you haven’t. I still breastfeed her to sleep mostly but if she wakes up and fusses when she’s been fed and changed we’ve taken to letting her soothe herself, she usually does and goes back to sleep. Otherwise I would be constantly picking her up and that can’t last forever.
I think it’s normal to be frustrated especially with the lack of sleep...but if you make some changes and she’s still the same try to remember it’s probably normal for her and she’ll grow out of it eventually.

*We did some very gentle sleep training with my DS at 9 months and I stopped breastfeeding and he slept through.

I'm thinking 3 months is too early for the same? *

You can obviously stop breastfeeding whenever you choose, but it won't necessarily have any magic effect on sleep. Please don't consider trying to sleep train a 3 month old though.

Some babies just don't sleep as well as others. DS woke hourly all night every night until 14 months and then started going for longer stretches. We co sleep now and he still wakes 5 or so times a night briefly, but it's much easier to manage.

If you're destined to have a troublesome sleeper your body will adjust eventually, but it can be tough until it does

Thanks for the responses.

The dummy thing has been a weird one for me. My DS had a dummy. He's 2.5 and he still does at night! He loves it

My DS won't take one. She screws up her face and spits it out. If I keep trying her with it she gags. She's actually been sick from it.

Also, she won't take a bottle. I keep trying and she's not having it.

I think I just have really fussy children. I'm blaming myself. I think I must be doing something wrong!

Doesn't help my SiL and MiL's kids "all slept through from 8 weeks"...... fuck off!

@OnSilverStars , no they didn't.

@OnSilverStars

Thanks for the responses.

The dummy thing has been a weird one for me. My DS had a dummy. He's 2.5 and he still does at night! He loves it

My DS won't take one. She screws up her face and spits it out. If I keep trying her with it she gags. She's actually been sick from it.

Also, she won't take a bottle. I keep trying and she's not having it.

I think I just have really fussy children. I'm blaming myself. I think I must be doing something wrong!

Doesn't help my SiL and MiL's kids "all slept through from 8 weeks"...... fuck off!

The MIL and SIL probably have rose tinted glasses on! What is it with people and competitive parenting? People would do a lot better if they supported one another, even if they did have magical sleepers at 8 weeks old.

OP, I'd say you are definitely being unrealistic but it's coming from a place of desperation so I get it.

my daughter was a terrible sleeper, shes now 15 months and still pretty bad but much better... She would have to sleep on me and would cling Just to me not my husband, everytime i went to put her down she would wake fully again for at least an hour ... It was constant bottles and winding and rocking. I thought i was going to have a mental breakdown because i was so tired but at least i get sleep now, definitely gets better after 8-12 months

You're not doing anything wrong OP. Some children are just bad sleepers, in the same way as you might have a good eater and a fussy eater in the same family.

Can you co-sleep?

Is her tummy okay? My little dude was a dreadful sleeper until 5 months or so, he had really bad problems with wind which constantly woke him up... There was a period where we were up with him 15 times a night as standard. Infacol etc may help if that is part of the issue?

@OnSilverStars

Thanks for the responses.

The dummy thing has been a weird one for me. My DS had a dummy. He's 2.5 and he still does at night! He loves it

My DS won't take one. She screws up her face and spits it out. If I keep trying her with it she gags. She's actually been sick from it.

Also, she won't take a bottle. I keep trying and she's not having it.

I think I just have really fussy children. I'm blaming myself. I think I must be doing something wrong!

Doesn't help my SiL and MiL's kids "all slept through from 8 weeks"...... fuck off!

She's more likely to take a bottle from someone else. With you she can smell you and wants the breastfeeding she's used too.

Don't blame yourself. What she's doing is perfectly normal. Some 3 month olds sleep a lot, some hardly any.

Your MIL and SIL are being spectacularly unhelpful. I'd also doubt if all of their babies slept through from 8 weeks. I've got 6 kids and one slept through from 12 weeks. The rest all varied from up once a night to one who never slept longer than 3 hours at a time until he was 7! It's nothing that you are doing at all.

Be kind to yourself. It's very early doors

I’m sorry- sleep deprivation is so very hard; I’ve been there.

But three months is far too early to sleep train. What she’s doing is normal for her age.

We did sleep training at seven months because I was losing my mind, but I wouldn’t do it before six months.

At three months she’ll still need night feeds and won’t sleep in long bursts.

Thanks guys. I know you're all right and three months is too early. I wouldn't. I'm just desperate!

It was hard to deal with when it was just me and my son all day at home, but now dealing with it again with a toddler and a baby it's so hard, as most people know!

Husband works a lot. She won't take a bottle or a dummy. Toddler is loud and wakes her up all the time. It's just basic parenthood and I need to get over it!

Was just hoping for some miracle solution

Have you tried various dummies? My ds will only take one brand and size.

Also swaddling and white noise?

I've tried 4 different dummies with no luck. On was even a premie one. We use white noise. Haven't swaddled. She's rolling on her side so kinda nervous to do so

Feeling your pain; my 8 month old does not like to sleep either. And my toddler is now starting to resist the lunch nap.

I cannot wait until my life no longer revolves around sleep. I am counting down the days until I can happily just let them crack on until they crash into bed naturally and I don’t have to rock / sing / shush / argue / beg and cry them to just go to fucking sleep!!!!

Sorry no advice but you’re not alone and unfortunately you may have months of this ahead.

Co sleep and just shove a boob in any time she stirs. At least you will sleep to an extent that way

My little girl is 11 weeks and really turned a corner the last week, she’s gone from waking every other hour to sleeping 8pm-2:30am then back down until around 5/6 and will usually go back to sleep until 7 too! Also BF. Things that have helped are Ewan the sheep on the heart beat noise, hot water bottle in her next to me so sheets are warmed for when she’s put in- obviously removed before, keep the room dark, sleeping bag and if she does stir or wake when I put her down I hold her hand but don’t speak or look at her unless she murmurs in which case I rock her back to sleep and repeat but I feel like I new woman the last few days 🤩 hope you get a bit more rest soon!!

@2020iscancelled I feel your pain!! Can't wait until there about 5. I know that's terrible! Trying not to wish it all away!!

@Apples6544 will try Ewan the sheep!!

What about a love to dream swaddle? Neither of my kids would've slept unswaddled at that age.