Help settle an argument

[Knitsewthread]

Which of the following do you agree with regarding visiting a new baby:

a) the parents should invite people to meet the new baby or ask them to come over - otherwise people won't know they are welcome and no visit will ensue

b) people who want to see the baby will ask if they can pop over/ask the new parents to let them know when they're up for visitors so something can be arranged

A

Both are fine.

Congratulations by the way!

B

It depends on the potential visitors. Some people will just turn up, others will wait until invited, others will ask when you’d like visitors.

I think it’s always going to be a mixture.

But no one should ever get offended if the parents, in particular the Mum who is much more important that the Dad in respect of this question, says no.

It depends on how laid back the parents are. Both answers are ok to me

Either. It depends on your relationship with the visitors and your attitude to visitors generally. Some people invited, some people invited themselves. I mostly can’t remember. Guests should be respectful and not pushy.

A.
People may not ask, especially under the current circumstances. But to be honest, who other than family and very close friends actually want to see a new baby? And surely those are the people you have spoken to and in the course of the conversation either invited them over or told them when you are happy to have visitors?

I thought I was A, then ds was born and was ill in NICU and I wanted everyone to come and meet him in case he didn't pull through.

People stayed away because they assumed we'd not want them there. No winners!

Both but as a new parent I would prefer B.

Thanks @1Morewineplease

For those saying A, would you say the same still applies to immediate family?

@Pipandmum I agree - I'm always slightly wary of inviting people in case they're not that bothered as know baby won't be half as fascinating to them as they are to me so don't want people to feel obliged to come!

I hope your DS is ok now @Bridecilla - that must have been horrible for you.

Either. My preference would be A. However, it is certainly not acceptable to continually invite yourself round without checking when/if it's convenient. And then get shitty about it when it isn't because naptime/ HV appointment/ mum & baby are just going out/baby screaming all night & mum just isn't up for it.

Both are fine imo. I tend not to wait for a specific invitation; I’ll give new parents I am close to a couple of weeks or so and then suggest I could pop round when it suits them (always reassuring them it’s fine if not convenient). And I always bring a gift for mum, a gift for baby, and a homemade meal or cake.

Either.

A ideally but B is fine if not done in a pushy way

B

B. You will inform your close family and friends on the arrival of the baby. Also the people close to you will usually message you and say they will come over at some point.

Either. It depends on your relationship. If my mother didn't come and see my new baby I would be completely confused but if Elsie from work came without calling me first I'd be just as confused.

Both are fine. I hated it when people just 'dropped in' though.