decided to take kids back to school but absolutely terrified

[flatlife]

2 relatives (not close) hospitalised with cv one died during lockdown. i am so scared of passing it on to elderly relatives (who have said they will take the risk- last part of life- declining quickly)

My children are due back tomorrow and understandably my eldest is scared to catch/ carry cv. I am scared for him too.
I dont know whether to carry on seeing grandparents (one very ill hasnt long left- the other will need support and is grieving already)
when the children go back to school it seems like the risk will be too much to them.

all that being said, I am very very poorly (post partum phsychosis and all that goes along with it) so I may not be in the right space to make these decisions.
my partner thinks they will be better off at school and I half agree, half dont.

how is everyone feeling now its the start of term? are people worried but watching, keeping an eye 👁 👁 or are some staying home? (I was adamant about home schooling until about 5 mins ago)
or are some really excited and not phased by world wide pandemics? (!!!)

those who have returned already, how did it go?

oh and most importantly are you all staying away from elderly relatives again?

I'm in the latter camp. Kids went back in the summer term and today and I go back as a teacher tomorrow. Completely unphased by it all. Community transmission is low. Rates are rising primarily due to increased testing. My dad is vulnerable but is helping with DS's school run when I can't get there. Sensible handwashing etc and I am not concerned. I 100% agree that far more harm is done by keeping them off. I hope you can get some help to feel better about it all.

OP if it helps any I work in a school and although have beeb furloughed since march I returned this week.A week before the kids are due back and OMG the proceedures and practices we have put in place would blow your mind..they have mine! In order to keep everyone uber safe and following government guidelines to the letter although its really different it feels as safe as it looks. My mental health wasnt great during being off work etc much the same as everybody elses but I feel a million times more safe at work than anywhere else.I am sure our school is no different from many others..hope this reassures you a bit.

Are your children primary age? If so, the current scientific concensus is that they are extremely unlikely to become ill with covid or to transmit it.

The virus is mostly transmitted from adult to adult so just try to keep your distance from other parents and from teachers.

I'm a primary school teacher and returning to school tomorrow. We've got loads of hygiene measures in place and I'm sure other schools will too.

Schools have been back here for
2 1/2 weeks. No corona outbreak yet.

If you've got post-partum psychosis then don't overthink this. They're meant to go, you're meant to send them, and you will benefit enormously from the chance to rest and have some down time. The biggest risk by far to them is you being ill, hospitalised, seriously depressed, or worse. That matters much more to them than seeing an elderly relative. So stay away if you're worried, and look after yourself.

It sounds like you have been very unwell, that must be really hard.

How old is your eldest? For most children the risk of catching it, getting sick if they do, or passing it on all appear pretty low, perhaps the nerves are a reflection of yours?

The risk to your children and self is low, and if you are worried about elderly relatives you can find distanced ways to interact.

However the risk to postpartum psychosis to your health is much higher, I'd agree with your DH that it's likely the best things for the kids to be back at school to also give you and your new baby some space and time.

One of my three was back throughout with her year group, I was also very worried at first but she loved it, stayed very healthy (far more than usual, thanks to all the constant hand washing etc!) and they have a lot of safety procedures. Best of luck and hope you feel better soon

I'm sorry about your difficulties. Try to keep some perspective. As a journalist said, more people died of flu yesterday than of COVID, but it didn't make the news...
My kids will spend less time with grandparents, but not none, at their request. My view is it's for the at risk person to decide if they want to take on the risk (and the reward) of socialising with family. Certainly no cause for concern about your children's health.

Our schools have been back 3 weeks and no issues, kids wearing masks and following guidelines. Please don’t allow your kids to be terrified, reassure them.

I'm trying to reassure him (he's only just gone 7) and iys hard when my own instincts are telling me the government isn't to be trusted!

At 7 he shouldn’t be worrying about anything never mind terrified. You need to try not to put your fears into him, he’s far too young to be anxious and scared, try and put a brave face on and send him to school.

It sounds like he has taken on a lot of your fears from this. I can understand children being nervous to go back after so long but "terrified"? That has come from a parent projecting.
I'm very anxious about my kids going back, I've been talking it through with my mental health team today. Believe me I get it. But my kids wouldn't know. I've told them how excited I am for them, they're looking forward to it. There's no need for them to take on my big feelings.

@SBTLove

At 7 he shouldn’t be worrying about anything never mind terrified. You need to try not to put your fears into him, he’s far too young to be anxious and scared, try and put a brave face on and send him to school.

Totally agree - it needs to be massively downplayed to your 7 year old & in my opinion he needs to go back to school and back to normality.

Any school children worrying about passing COVID to older relatives breaks my heart .

You're right that the government isn't to be trusted but there are lots of drs and scientists saying that it's safe and they now have enough data to support this; I don't trust any member of this crappy government further than I can throw them but I do trust the scientific advice.

It's understandable that you're anxious but you need to try not to pass these on to your dc. Talk about how exciting it will be to see his friends again, how grown up he will be now that he's moving up to the next year, what interesting new topics he'll be learning about etc etc. Make it something for him to look forward to.

Maybe see if you can get a message to his teacher so they can help reassure him. I have year 2 coming in tomorrow and we are all ready for them. We will talk through the differences and how we are going to keep everybody safe by keeping us and our classroom as clean as we can.

I'm excited and not phased for my sake or my kids, but I do worry for teachers who might feel under pressure to return who have vulnerabilities themselves, or family members who have previously been shielding.

I'm a little edgy about the risk of passing it to my 83 year old mum. I wouldn't blame myself if I did - she is adamant she won't go back into isolation - but obviously I would feel very sad. But that is her choice, she thinks normality has to resume. Fingers crossed it all works out ok.

Well his reasoning is simple- we weren't allowed to see nanny and grandad during lockdown to keep them safe from coronavirus- and we weren't allowed to go too near strangers to keep us safe, cant go to wacky warehouse etc to stay safe- now we are out of lockdown he is finding it hard to readjust to 'normal' I suppose and quite rightly feels unsafe being in school with loads of people when only a few weeks ago it was unsafe.
I had a baby in lockdown and that was quite a palaver with the midwife visiting me in ppe.
we still haven't taken the kids shopping or anything like that so the rules haven't been lifted slowly from home- hes we all are being thrown into 'normal without practice really.

@TweeterandtheMonkeyman its breaking my heart too but we were all teaching our children to isolate and lockdown to stay safe. now it feels safe and undoing that feels unsafe

plus I was really ill during lockdown (easing) and we have had nurses on ppe coming in aswell which is scary for kids