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AIBU?

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Original poster

Nearly snapped at sister in law - vent

51 replies

Twizbe · 02/09/2020 14:06

Don't want to be too outing so details will be vague. Basically I need to vent somewhere.

We are currently staying with my in-laws while some major work happens to our house. We are paying board and husband and I are taking on as much of the household upkeep as MiL is allowing. We have our two kids there as well and are not asking for any childcare support from them.

My sil is also staying temporarily with a puppy she acquired in lockdown. Lovely dog. She is staying because she has no garden in her flat and wanted him to be crate and toilet trained before taking him home.

Oh.my.god! This woman is in her mid 30s and is like a teenager. She never cleans up after herself, doesn't get up with the dog, expects everyone else to look after it, then complains we aren't doing it right, seems to have a major blind spot when it comes to keys, expects everyone to dance to her tune ...

I nearly lost it today after one too many immature actions from her.

How bad would it be if I told her the truth? Everyone else just pussy foots around her

OP posts:
AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 04/09/2020 13:13

Dumped on whom, and did they volunteer?

How old is the poor little animal?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/09/2020 13:40

Frustrating though it is, don’t say anything.
It’s OK for family to criticise or moan about their own, but they’re apt to get very upset if anyone else does it.

100% I’d stop doing anything for her, or clearing up her mess, though.
I feel sorry for the poor pup. She doesn’t sound nearly responsible enough to have one.

Original poster
Twizbe · 04/09/2020 14:09

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime

Dumped on whom, and did they volunteer?

How old is the poor little animal?

In laws are looking after him until Tuesday. They have a booked trip from Tuesday and he is going to a puppy boarding school type thing from Monday.

He's about 4 months old now.

OP posts:
AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 04/09/2020 14:31

Poor animal; what a totally crap owner he is saddled with.

Is he house-trained yet? And has he had all his inoculations?

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 04/09/2020 14:32

Oh, and another question: has she had a dog before?

LakieLady · 04/09/2020 14:37

Ffs, why do so many people treat dogs like a bit of luggage that can be left any old where with anyone to keep an eye on them?

Your SIL sounds vile, OP, and utterly spoilt.

TheSecretaryBird · 04/09/2020 14:43

Puppies shouldn’t be away from their main carer at that age! It’s such an important age for them to be bonding with their human and when they learn so much about the world around them.
Our pup is 5 months and I can’t imagine leaving him even overnight at this age!

KitchenConfidential · 04/09/2020 14:44

Anyone else want to take bets on how long before the dog gets dumped in a rescue because she’s yet another shit and irresponsible dog owner.

Sorry you’re having to deal with this OP.

Mayorquimby2 · 04/09/2020 15:22

"he is going to a puppy boarding school type thing from Monday."

Are they fully certain that they'll take a 4 month old?
Most of the dog minders I know wouldn't take one that young and I'm guessing (hoping because of its age) he/she hasn't even been neutered yet.

Original poster
Twizbe · 04/09/2020 15:30

He had his jabs this morning and she hasn't seen him since. She wasn't even there at lunch to give him his tablet ...

The boarder is a puppy trainer and it's arranged. I think SiL expects him to come back fully trained so she doesn't have to.

He is partially house trained. He's doing well but still a few accidents.

She has grown up with dogs but this is the first one she has owned.

OP posts:
Original poster
Twizbe · 04/09/2020 15:32

@KitchenConfidential

Anyone else want to take bets on how long before the dog gets dumped in a rescue because she’s yet another shit and irresponsible dog owner.

Sorry you’re having to deal with this OP.

Off topic but I heard a radio advert for battersea today offering services for rehoming. I think a lot of people got a puppy in lockdown and now realising they are hard work
OP posts:
KitchenConfidential · 04/09/2020 16:09

Off topic but I heard a radio advert for battersea today offering services for rehoming. I think a lot of people got a puppy in lockdown and now realising they are hard work

This is incredibly true. The rescues I work with are absolutely flooded at the moment with all sorts of pets for exactly this reason.

TW2013 · 04/09/2020 16:17

Could you persuade her that maybe it would be good to have someone living in her flat and decamp there with the dc and leave the in laws to pussyfoot around her. Hope it won't be too much longer.

Original poster
Twizbe · 04/09/2020 16:26

@TW2013

Could you persuade her that maybe it would be good to have someone living in her flat and decamp there with the dc and leave the in laws to pussyfoot around her. Hope it won't be too much longer.
That's not a bad idea. It's not ideal with the kids' nursery / preschool but not terrible either ...
OP posts:
TW2013 · 04/09/2020 20:11

Maybe suggest that the puppy will be more settled if you and the dc aren't there and will be toilet trained earlier if you go to her flat. Gives her a reason to agree to it which seems as if you are helping her.

heartsonacake · 04/09/2020 20:16

YABU. It’s not your place to say anything. It’s not your house, you’re a guest too, and she’s staying with her parents, so if they have a problem they should raise it with her.

Original poster
Twizbe · 04/09/2020 20:34

@heartsonacake

YABU. It’s not your place to say anything. It’s not your house, you’re a guest too, and she’s staying with her parents, so if they have a problem they should raise it with her.
Yep. That's why I'm biting my tongue and venting here.
OP posts:
heartsonacake · 04/09/2020 20:53

Yep. That's why I'm biting my tongue and venting here.

Right. But in your OP you said How bad would it be if I told her the truth? and said you nearly lost it with her, hence my reply on saying it’s not your place to bring it up.

allthatglimmers · 04/09/2020 20:56

This sounds very much like my BIL, we're both working from home (we're at in-laws while our new house is built) and he strops around, is still cooked for despite being in his mid-20s and I've had to clean pissy toilet seats every day this week 😷

Original poster
Twizbe · 04/09/2020 20:59

@heartsonacake

Yep. That's why I'm biting my tongue and venting here.

Right. But in your OP you said How bad would it be if I told her the truth? and said you nearly lost it with her, hence my reply on saying it’s not your place to bring it up.

Rhetorical question.

Nearly, but didn't.

OP posts:
heartsonacake · 04/09/2020 21:01

You based an entire AIBU on a rhetorical question? If you knew YWBU to say anything then starting a thread here was pointless. There’s a chat forum if you just wanted to vent.

You’ve received an entire thread of responses based on your question since it wasn’t clear you were being disingenuous.

Original poster
Twizbe · 04/09/2020 21:12

@heartsonacake

You based an entire AIBU on a rhetorical question? If you knew YWBU to say anything then starting a thread here was pointless. There’s a chat forum if you just wanted to vent.

You’ve received an entire thread of responses based on your question since it wasn’t clear you were being disingenuous.

Ok take a chill.

Sorry if I posted this is the wrong place. I won't vent here in future.

I'm angry at SiL for sure, but I wouldn't actually say anything. I'm pretty sure most people got that from the OP.

But I'll not start any thread in future without checking with you first.

OP posts:
AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 05/09/2020 00:04

Please carry right on venting, Twizbe. You are entitled to if you want; it's better than telling the prannet who doesn't know how to look after a puppy what you think about her, which would only cause trouble.

And if one poster can tell you you're wrong to have done it, another can tell you you're right, and I am. That's what.

heartsonacake · 05/09/2020 07:20

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime

Please carry right on venting, Twizbe. You are entitled to if you want; it's better than telling the prannet who doesn't know how to look after a puppy what you think about her, which would only cause trouble.

And if one poster can tell you you're wrong to have done it, another can tell you you're right, and I am. That's what.

I never said she was wrong to vent 😂

I said she shouldn’t have posted in AIBU with a question she doesn’t actually want answering; there’s a chat forum if she just wanted to vent.

Hospitalvisit · 05/09/2020 07:38

Sounds to me like your PILs now have a dog Wink

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