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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to have taken a job I know I’ll be leaving?

49 replies

Roosin33 · 02/09/2020 12:29

Basically in March lost my job. I applied for loads- literally hundreds- of jobs and finally got a basic, minimum wage retail job two months ago. Pay cut but still money. However, I knew all along there was a very large possibility I would be moving to the other end of the country at the end of September.

I purposely didn’t mention this to my employer and am now at the point of having to give notice.

I did this because I had bills to pay, bills piling up, wasn't on furlough, and I know they wouldn’t have given me the job otherwise. But I was desperate for money and had been unemployed for several months, with my income being the sole earnings. I’ve now managed to get my bills up to date and I’m not in the red anymore. If I hadn’t got this job, god knows what state I’d be in financially.

WIBU to do this?

I am working my full notice period and it is not a specialist role, so it won’t be hard to train someone or find my replacement, if this makes a difference. I do feel guilty but also I needed a job desperately.

Thank you.

OP posts:

Sewsosew · 02/09/2020 12:31

You don’t have to tell them you knew you are moving. You can’t stay if you are though so there’s nothing you can do.
Is it an independent or a chain, is there a possibility to transfer branches?

katy1213 · 02/09/2020 12:32

Why on earth would you feel guilty? Did they feel guilty about paying you minimum wage? You've done the work you've been paid for. You owe them nothing. I should think they're used to a fast turnover.

corlan · 02/09/2020 12:35

You have nothing to feel guilty about. Good luck with your move.

WhyIsItSoHardToPickAUsername · 02/09/2020 12:36

Of course yanbu

milienhaus · 02/09/2020 12:37

You worked for the money they gave you, and you’re following the terms of your contract in resigning and working your notice. You have nothing at all to feel guilty about.

Pumpkinnose · 02/09/2020 12:37

Weve had people at work not turn up after the morning.

Don’t feel guilty, you performed a needed service. Why would you possibly feel bad? They could have got rid of you instantly at any moment.

Iggly · 02/09/2020 12:38

No need to feel guilty. People leave jobs for all manner of reasons.

TheVamoosh · 02/09/2020 12:39

A friend of mine told her employer she was planning to move and for the reason her contact wasn't extended. Her partner then changed his mind about moving and she stood without a job and got into debt.

Sonders · 02/09/2020 12:39

You don't owe anybody loyalty. Your employer weren't doing you a favour by hiring you - they needed someone to do a job and you did it. Nothing bad here :)

ragged · 02/09/2020 12:41

yanbu

Florencex · 02/09/2020 12:42

You would only be unreasonable if you didn’t work your contracted notice.

Otherwise no of course not, there is a notice period that works both ways and I am sure they would use it if they wanted to.

Moondust001 · 02/09/2020 12:43

Everyone takes jobs they know they will leave! You just knew in advance when it would happen. It's a job, that all.

Cantstopeatingchocolate · 02/09/2020 12:43

People move on, they find better jobs, they decide they don't like the job they started.
I wouldn't feel guilty at all,
I'm a retail manager and it happens all the time, don't worry.

MJMG2015 · 02/09/2020 12:47

Obviously it's not ideal, but it's not like they spent months training you, for you to leave before benefitting them - and even if that was the case, sometimes 'needs must'. You had bills to pay, responsibilities - you did an honest days work, for less than a decent days pay.

Who has made you feel bad about this?!

You worked in retail through the worst of the pandemic. You have my admiration, feel proud, not guilty!

Pleased to hear you've been able to sort your finances out & good luck with the move!!

Milssofadoesntreallyfit · 02/09/2020 12:48

On the fence for these reasons:
-As and employee you need a job/wage to pay the bills and to live, this is a priority for a huge amount of people and in that sense YANBU. I have been there,as have many and I that sense you do what you have to do.

However, I am also an employer. I have spent time employing and training people in my small business, it takes time and money to train them. I also find it stressful having spent many years working 13 hrs days and eventually now being in the position to employ people I really want to get it right.
When this happened to me two years ago It had quite an impact on not only my team but me and my family as I had to go back to covering awkward shifts again for quite sometime while I went through recruitment again.

It does happen, life does get in the way but now, having been on the other side of it I can see the stress and frustration it can cause. Would I do what you did? I cant answer as my gut says an overwhelming no but sometimes people are faced with circumstances which means that they have no choice.

Just for note, I'm not going to be running the business forever, after 11 yrs I'm moving on soon and dealing with this kind of worry as a small employer is one of the main reasons why I dont want to do it any more.
I have dealt with this and other issues employee related and its just taking a huge toll on me stress wise. Im running out of steam!!!!!! I want to just be able just go to work and see it as paying the bills.

Sorry my post probably doesnt help.

user18534687433234 · 02/09/2020 12:49

they wouldn't feel guilty about firing you. You're just a disposable resource to any employer. Guilt and loyalty are misguided.

Happynow001 · 02/09/2020 12:49

If your role is not specialist requiring lot of expensive technical training (or, actually, even if it is: that's part of the cost of running a business) and you always gave your best to do a good job then definitely YANBU.

You did your best to take responsibility for paying your own bills and keep your head above water. Just think - if there was a business need for them to dispense with your services it's very unlikely there'd be any angst from them. Good luck for a better future, OP. 🌹

MadameBlobby · 02/09/2020 12:50

YANBU in the slightest. It was a job when you needed it, and now you don’t. Don’t feel guilty- they had you work there as it suited them. Had it not done so they’d have got rid of you without batting an eyelid.

TheBeesKnee · 02/09/2020 12:51

If you were in a career type job where it took you 3 months to get trained up etc then I'd be inclined to say YABU.

But in these circumstances, no. They won't be short of new candidates when you leave.

user18534687433234 · 02/09/2020 12:53

sometimes people are faced with circumstances which means that they have no choice

Exactly. Like being born in a country that deliberately impoverishes people who don't have jobs in order to punish them for being unemployed.

If that wasn't the case people would be free to make different decisions, but as being homeless and starving are not overly compatible with continued survival...

IntermittentParps · 02/09/2020 12:54

You needed a job.

You're working your full notice period and they will find a replacement fairly easily.

Most employers wouldn't feel guilty about firing someone.

Don't worry about it. Nothing you've done is guilt-worthy even in normal circumstances, let alone in Covid times!

MadameBlobby · 02/09/2020 12:55

@TheBeesKnee

If you were in a career type job where it took you 3 months to get trained up etc then I'd be inclined to say YABU.

But in these circumstances, no. They won't be short of new candidates when you leave.

Even then she wouldn’t BU. It’s a job. People leave. It’s not worth giving any extra loyalty to an employer. It gets you nowhere.

vanillandhoney · 02/09/2020 12:56

It's fine.

Being loyal to an employer is a potentially dangerous position to be in. I know too many people who have stayed in jobs through loyalty and it's never ended well.

vanillandhoney · 02/09/2020 12:56

If you were in a career type job where it took you 3 months to get trained up etc then I'd be inclined to say YABU.

Why? It's just a job.

SixesAndEights · 02/09/2020 13:08

Not unreasonable at all, OP. Employers these days show little loyalty towards staff, so why should we show loyalty to them?

You needed work, you got work, that's to be commended!

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