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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed about this thing that happened to dc in reception?

21 replies

Towelrail7 · 02/09/2020 08:57

It’s not a big thing at all, but when DS was in reception (he’s going into year 2 now) he was miserable and would cry every day before going in. I was really concerned it might be bullying, or something else, and went in to speak to them a couple of times and they all said it’s fine.

He settled better after reception, but he still doesn’t like school.

Anyway, this morning he told me that - when he was in reception - children who were naughty got sent to nursery for the day to learn how to behave. I didn’t know that, and was a bit Hmm

I asked if he ever got sent to nursery, and he said yes, because he wore his hood up in the classroom (it’s a non uniform school and he has a lot of hooded cardigans). I asked if he ignored the teacher when she told him to take it down, he said no, and got sent to nursery because they were so angry with him.

I asked how it felt to be in nursery, he said he cried, he didn’t like it there.

He told me this whole thing quite happily, though!

But I can’t help but think this sort of treatment is why he hated school in reception and was miserable every day. He still doesn’t like school now.

I’m definitely not someone who thinks their precious DC is an angel, however he is a very easy and compliant child. My other DC on the other hand is not, so would definitely be cheeky!

I know it’s not a big thing, but I feel a bit peeved about it. Feels like a very shamey way to treat reception children?! Shouting at them and then sending them off when they ignore you?

I’m not going to do anything about it, but wondered if I was being unreasonable for being annoyed about it?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 02/09/2020 09:00

I’d suspect his version of this and the real version vary quite a lot. If you’re upset ask the school

Towelrail7 · 02/09/2020 09:05

While I totally agree (getting information out of him is very difficult, especially about school!), he is very compliant kid and wants to please.

I volunteered on a trip once and I remember his reception teacher rolling her eyes and speaking impatiently to another boy who was slow to fill his water glass. Made me think she found the little boys a bit annoying?

Anyway, I’m not going to do or say anything. I just wondered if I was mentally overreacting by thinking that sending kids to the nursery “so they’d learn how behave” was a bit crap!

OP posts:
TheHappyHerbivore · 02/09/2020 09:11

I think it’s a bit crap too - and I can’t imagine the nursery were thrilled about it!

I agree that your son’s recollection may not be perfect, but as a general rule it seems bad.

ineedaholidaynow · 02/09/2020 09:11

Schools do sometimes send a child to another class for a set period of time, not all day. So I assume it is possible that a child could be sent to nursery for maybe an hour, to sit quietly and get on with their work.

Towelrail7 · 02/09/2020 09:15

Yes I think you’re right - it was probably only an hour or so and not all day, as he described it!

OP posts:
Fishfingersandwichplease · 02/09/2020 09:16

I think some of the kids in my daughter's class could have done with this kind of early on discipline- if you get em early l find they grow up a bit more respectful. But obviously it has to depend on the crime they committed and putting a hood up is hardly a big deal! However, if he didn't comply when they asked him to put it down, maybe that was the real issue rather than the hood being up (apologies if you said he took it down, sorry, read it then like Dory totally forgot!!)

ThePlantsitter · 02/09/2020 09:19

Sounds like a threat they made. I doubt it was ever carried out. Memories from being 4 are unreliable.

I don't blame you for being annoyed though, I can still make myself irritated about a minor thing that happened to my DD in reception and she starts secondary school tomorrow!

Towelrail7 · 02/09/2020 09:19

He said he did, fishfingers, but who knows? I’m sure he didn’t (whether he didn’t hear or just didn’t do it!) if he got into trouble for it.

I do remember viewing it before DS started and wondering if it were strict as the children were robotically well-behaved!

OP posts:
Towelrail7 · 02/09/2020 09:20

Ha yes! I think I especially can as that was a very miserable year for DS, ThePlantsitter.

I hope your daughter loves secondary school tomorrow!

OP posts:
Camomila · 02/09/2020 09:32

I think it could have happened...it's in DS1s school behaviour policy, if they go on 'red' they have to go in another classroom for a bit...only for hitting etc though.

Towelrail7 · 02/09/2020 11:37

That’s interesting! I suppose it must be a thing. (Reception seems so little! Sad)

OP posts:
tiredanddangerous · 02/09/2020 11:56

I also think it could have happened. Dds primary use internal exclusions for bad behaviour, so the child is sent to another classroom with a younger year group for a period of time. It's only done for pretty serious bad behaviour though, not for having your hood up!

vanillandhoney · 02/09/2020 12:00

I think it could have happened - lots of schools have the policy of sending children to another class if they don't behave.

I doubt it was all day, though. An hour is a long time when you're four!

phatsandsmall · 02/09/2020 12:04

My daughters school did this as "punishment" particularly if the child in question were disruptive they got one warning then sent to sit in another classroom with another class-Not sure if it really worked but hey ho each to their own. My girls never said they had been sent but would always tell me if anyone else had.

PicsInRed · 02/09/2020 12:06

I wonder if there's something further to this story? Another detail?

Was he treated differently to other kids in the class? Singled out?

Mittens030869 · 02/09/2020 12:53

I doubt it was all day, though. An hour is a long time when you're four!

^This with bells on. I doubt the nursery would be willing to be willing to have children from reception foisted on them for a whole day.

PlateTectonics · 02/09/2020 13:00

My DC's school also sends children to another class if they misbehave. Maybe it's the modern equivalent of being sent to stand in the corner? A way of removing the child from the situation and punishing them but with less shame involved. I think reception is a bit too young to be doing this though - I'd see it as more appropriate for KS2 children (except as Camomila says for something more serious like hitting). So I think YANBU to be a bit upset about it.

EyeDrops · 02/09/2020 13:18

When I was teaching I did this myself, Y1 child to Reception for the afternoon. The child in question was persistently rude and disruptive, so I said she could go and sit with the younger ones who COULD do it properly. It very much depends on the child and the sitatuation but it's definitely a valid course of action!

ineedaholidaynow · 03/09/2020 06:55

At least you know it won’t happen this term as not allowed to mix bubbles

HelloDulling · 03/09/2020 07:07

@ThePlantsitter

Sounds like a threat they made. I doubt it was ever carried out. Memories from being 4 are unreliable.

I don't blame you for being annoyed though, I can still make myself irritated about a minor thing that happened to my DD in reception and she starts secondary school tomorrow!

Me too! DS goes into Year 7 today, I’m still tempted to trip up the kid who took all his money from him on a school trip in Year 2. (I won’t, because he’s now bigger than me)
Rubbleonthedouble1 · 03/09/2020 07:21

Firstly I doubt it was the day. Possibly for a little bit.
Secondly I would think if he did do something serious enough for this to happen you would have been told about his behaviour
If it was true yes I’d be annoyed and more so that they didn’t tell me

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