Is this unreasonable?

[Helendee]

I have four adult children ( 3 married sons and my DD lives with her partner).
We all get on well but I always give my own children more for their birthdays than their partners. For Christmas I give joint presents and money.
I am not wealthy but my tradition is to give my kids £100 each and a present and my three DILs and DD’s partner £50 and a present. In my family it’s always been like that and my Mil gives my husband more than she gives me which is fine by me, also my children get less from their partners’ families.
Does this seem mean though? Should I give my kids less and more to their partners? I hate upsetting anyone. My own four don’t have a lot spare to spend on themselves so I like to buy them nice things when I can.

Have you decided what you're going to do, OP?

@SueEllenofDallas

PIL give me £50 for my birthday which is very generous but ... DD (16) gets a gift worth £100+ for hers (as well as £50 a month pocket money from them) and DH gets £200 for birthday

So the message from them is quite clear!

I have never received anything from my PILs

My mum buys more for me than DH while my mil probably buys similar for me as DH. It’s different ways of doing it and that’s fine, £50 is still very generous

@SmellsLikeFeet - do you get on with them?

[quote SueEllenofDallas]@SmellsLikeFeet - do you get on with them?[/quote]
Not any more . they crossed the line too many times

My mum and dad (individually as were divorced) always spent the same on us children and our husbands/wives. If we received money we all had the same amount. However that was their choice, which was absolutely fine, but equally I cannot see anything wrong with what you are doing. That wouldn't bother me at all.

Just carry on doing what you're doing. It's fine.

My DH & I are both over 60 - my parents are late 80s but still give very generous gifts (they can afford it) but they do give more to their adult DC than their ILs .... I think it's quite understandable.

I always give DD's DP half of what I give her and she always spends more on my gifts than she does for my DP (not her dad). I thought that's how it was for everybody.

DM gives the same to us, her children, & all our partners. Partners are as much a part of the family.
All GC get the same spent on them from the oldest-adult, to youngest-tween.