AIBU to be try and avoid daughter being friends with another girl.

[Longestride25]

Hi I joined for the conception chat but discovered this.

I have a daughter aged 7 she has additional needs ( more health related but some development problems to )
My issue is she has made friends with a girl in her class who I think we should distant our self from.
We have her over the house reg ( before lock down ) and have met up in the park after shielding ended.
My issue is a few things, she is bosses daughter around a lot, talks to her like she much younger and often says things like “ that’s why your the weird one in the class “
There was an incident at the park where she had become very angry with DD who had not don’t anything wrong. Her mum put it down to her being tired. This ended with my daughter being pulled down a hill by her hair.
Now they are only 7 so I let it go after speaking to them and eventually they apologised ( only because she wanted to keep her invite to a day out that was already arranged that she spent all day telling us she didn’t want to go because we were boring )
So also the way the mum speaks to the girl for example, she was messing about doing something and the mum shouted at her “ ffs would you stop f special needs I swear “
The girl replied “ haha no your special needs.
It’s also come to light now that she doesn’t believe in covid, they are currently on holiday to somewhere that is on the list to quarantine and has made it v clear over social media that the kids are going back to school Monday ( day after they come back )
They are in the same bubble and DD is extremely vulnerable.
Now the issue is my daughter adores the kid because she wants a friend ! She never says anything back to her because she says she won’t be my friend is I don’t do as I say !

AIBU to distance them ?

She sounds like a bully, I’d totally distance my DD.

She sounds awful. YANBU.

Now the issue lays that they are in the same class 🙈
I have mentioned the situation to the school senco but come next week they will be in the same bubble.

When you have a child with SN, it's difficult. You want them to be accepted. BUT there are limits and this friendship is one that needs to be nipped in the bud. You have to set the standard and if you are letting this escalate into something uncomfortable then you are damaging your child. Stop being grateful, Set boundaries.

You can't control what happens at school, but you can totally control what happens at home. Don't ever spend time with this child out of school. Try to encourage other frirndships

They sound like an utter nightmare, distance yourself and your child pronto!

OP when I was a little girl I was bullied relentlessly by a girl from [what sounds like] a similar background. It lasted years and left me suicidal as a teenager. Stop your DD from seeing this girl now.

Using special needs as an insult/laughing about it would be enough for me to cut contact.

I’m sure your daughter will make a new friend in the next school year.

They sound awful. I have a degree of sympathy with the child because they're clearly being dragged up and taught to behave like that, but that's not your look out. I second what others have already suggested and distance yourselves from them.

I would be making sure the senco and teacher knows what’s going on especially about the holiday and quarantine or lack of. Make it clear that you don’t want your DD in the same bubble/pod or whatever it’s called. If they end up in the same bubble your daughter will be in the receiving end of her bad temper and attitude for the rest of the year. No to play dates, have hairdressers appointment, doctors appointment whatever excuse, just have it ready and let the contact between you and her mother slowly fizzle out.

I would definitely make sure the school know about the lack of quarantine. Screen shots of the social media if necessary, I.e. if the school won’t take your word. That’s a vital health issue.

I’d also put some distance between them by not inviting her places outside of school. I’d also speak to the SENCO or class teacher (or both) to see if other friendships can be encouraged to put space between dd and this girl over time. Maybe a group of kids could be encouraged to include her?