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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worried the vet thinks I’m abusing/neglecting my cat

30 replies

bluedonuts · 01/09/2020 20:35

I have two cats, I’ve had them for six years and I love them to bits. One of them has always been very timid and anxious - I’m not sure why, he usually stayed inside and would be with me 24/7. If anyone he didn’t know ran in the house he would come straight to me or hide. He’s always felt safest with me. When we moved, my other cat was desperate to go out and so we got a cat flap, but my timid cat has started going out too now. We give them wet food morning and night and they have two bowls of biscuits out every day which get refilled. But since my timid cat has gone out, he isn’t eating as much. It’s impossible to get him in once he’s out so as soon as he is in I give him his food. But he’s usually there morning and night for his regular dinners.

My timid cat also has dermatitis and has has skin issues his whole life. He’s had countless steroid injections and treatments, but he’s sensitive to pretty much anything.

At the end of last week I noticed he had a bit of a bald spot on him, and noticed he’d been in more than usual. I called the vet and got an appointment today and she spoke to me quite aggressively. She told me that he’d had a reaction to fleas and that he needed antibiotics. She also told me I wasn’t feeding him enough and that he was losing weight because of it. I explained there was food out 24/7 and if I notice he hasn’t eaten as much I give him treats because he will go straight for them. She also said I wasn’t treating him for fleas. I have kept up with their flea and worming treatment and use advocate. I also have pet insurance if anything happens. When I asked her if she saw fleas, she said no, she was just guessing that that is why he had a bald spot.

We’ve also had no signs of fleas and their fur has been checked and they do not have any signs at all.

But from the way she was talking it sounded like she thought I was neglecting my cat and I’m really worried about it. I’m worried the RSPCA is going to turn up on my doorstep!

If she was going to contact them, would she have told me?

Sorry, I’m feeling very anxious!

OP posts:
Shedpaint · 01/09/2020 20:44

She sounds horrible!
You are clearly a loving diligent owner

Don’t let her intimidate you.
Tell her flea treatment is fully up to date, cat is fed daily as well as treats and if it is losing weight you want it properly investigated.

See a difference vet for sure. The bedside manner of that one is dire.

ToastyCrumpet · 01/09/2020 20:48

Could he be over grooming from stress? That can cause bald patches.

pussycatinboots · 01/09/2020 20:49

Get a second opinion with a different vets practice, as frankly she doesn't seem to know what she's talking about (fleas?!)

He sounds like my boy - he's really timid, very anxious, with some food allergies (is yours ginger by any chance?) and I decided to keep him and his sis as indoor only 2 years ago. It's the best decision I made.

If your other cat prefers (demands) to go out, could you get a chip controlled flap so that only she is allowed out and he stays in where he's safe?

thequeenoftarts · 01/09/2020 20:52

Where is the bald spot?

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 01/09/2020 20:55

Change your vet.

You don't owe her anything and have every right to spend your money elsewhere

Porcupineinwaiting · 01/09/2020 20:55

God, life's too short. Find a nicer vet.

Original poster
bluedonuts · 01/09/2020 20:56

He’s a black and white domestic long hair. His bald spot is on his back. He’s definitely over grooming, but he always has done, especially if his skin is sore.

OP posts:
1point21gigawatts · 01/09/2020 21:01

We use advocate as a flea treatment and the cat still seems to have them. The dog has developed some bald spots where he is constantly worrying at his back. It's not because we aren't treating them, it seems that the advocate just isn't killing the fleas.
My friend has also noticed this with her dog. She's had to fumigate her house and the fleas are still persisting.

Anyway, back to the point, get a new vet!

MissClarke86 · 01/09/2020 21:05

I agree that your vet sounds unpleasant, but she might not be wrong about the fleas - cats with flea allergies can flare up even from one flea bite, and even if the fleas subsequently die - so you might not actually see evidence of fleas. The best way to keep on top of it is to flea treat monthly - they generally get scabby around key areas, including the base of their tails.

I would change vets anyway though as yours sounds quite harsh and judgemental, and get a second opinion anyway if you’re concerned.

pussycatinboots · 01/09/2020 21:12

We use Frontline Plus. Charlie has a tendency to overgroom when he's stressed, then he barfs hairballs everywhere.🤦‍♀️ We've changed his food too as he's sensitive to dry so is on a wet food only diet.

I still think you need a new vet. I wouldn't want to go back to her tbh, she's not very nice.

ThanksForAllTheFish · 01/09/2020 21:15

Maybe someone else is feeding your cat and that’s why he’s not eating the food you buy him. Also could explain the bald spot. My cat gets bald spots with lumps and bumps - mainly on his legs mind you - if he eats certain cat food (cheap stuff like go cat or whiskas or anything with colourings in it). He’s also sensitive to some wet food brands and it they give him a dicky tummy. Gravy on meat rather than the jelly makes him vomit.

First I would change vets and find one less judgement. Then I would attach a paper collar to him and let the (potential) people feeding him know he’s got a home and needs a special diet for his skin. Ask them not to feed him as it’s making him lose his fur.

VenusClapTrap · 01/09/2020 21:21

God yes, change vets! You could try a Feliway plug in for his anxiety, they are really good. You could also try feeding him a high meat content wet food like Thrive, Applause or Encore. It can make a big difference to skin and fur. A lot of cat food is full of cereal instead of meat - it’s astonishing what pet food companies get away with. But they have to declare meat % on the contents so you can always check.

ShouldWeChangeTheBulb · 01/09/2020 21:24

Get another vet. She sounds awful.

Megan2018 · 01/09/2020 21:26

Try the Feliway plug in diffusers, they stopped my overgroomer. A lot of them do it due to stress, I had 3 at the time and only 1 did it but the Feliway made an enormous difference

MrsMcMuffins · 01/09/2020 21:30

My cat was over grooming and it’s because he is allergic to something. We don’t know what it is, but he is on medication for life now. He is not stressed and super friendly to everyone. I agree with the others find another vet.

madcatladyforever · 01/09/2020 21:33

Get a new vet who isnt as judgy. I wouldn't stand for that.

JaceLancs · 01/09/2020 21:38

I had an overgrooming cat which I was sure was stress related or blocked anal glands
Vet 1 blamed fleas and made me feel awful
Vet 2 decided it was cruciate ligament/joint problems - I spent £100s on tests then said not the case
Vet 3 emptied anal glands but thought it was stress
Owner - it was stress - he’s fine now

TheDoctorDances · 01/09/2020 21:40

I second someone else is feeding your cat. It can take six weeks of being on an exclusive diet to see results.

I’ve had months of mine back and forth to the vets, cone on and off, ripping her fur out. I’m an experienced cat owner, nobody else is feeding her (indoor) and it’s still taken forever to fix it.

She seems to hate all food and will go happily go 36 hours without touching even the fanciest overpriced allergy-free cat food.

PatsyJStone · 01/09/2020 21:46

Second a new vet. Don’t worry in the meantime. She won’t be reporting you, she just sounds like an unpleasant person. I use one vets, but make sure I don’t see one person who has given me contradictory information and not a very good ‘bedside manner’.

Ideasplease322 · 01/09/2020 21:55

My cat goes through phases of not eating much and losing weight.

She also had A flea allergy and has been treated for a bad reaction to a single flea bite.

My vet is lovely. He has been seeing her since she was a tiny neglected rescue kitten and he gives amazing advice.

You need a better vet. And I agree maybe try a microchip cat flap and limit time outside.

thequeenoftarts · 01/09/2020 21:59

Change up your flea treatments every few months, fleas get used to the same treatment, and it becomes useless, so important to mix it up. Also hair loss could be down to another cat trying to fight or pin him down or going thru a cat flap, or as you said over grooming if anxious/stress related. Could be food related, can you keep him as indoor cat? Not always easy I know, Feliway or pet remedy sprays are great too, helps chill them out.

vanillandhoney · 01/09/2020 22:01

My old cat had a flea allergy and her skin would get so sore and scabby even after just one bite. We had to make sure her treatment had fipronil in it and she had to be treated monthly on the dot. It's the only thing that healed her skin.

And please get a new vet!

CarolVordermansArse · 01/09/2020 22:04

Allergies might be caused by carageenan in the food (some sources say also carcinogenic). Or grains. Have a Google, you may find something that makes sense.

It is also the time of year for mites which can cause over grooming, even carpet beetles can cause a reaction, one of mine had a problem with them when we moved house and had kindly been donated an infestation. I dusted her and the floors with diatomaceous earth, when I groomed her she had little scabs which I was able to remove and she was fine. Then the other one started...

I would keep him as an indoor cat if I were you, something might be upsetting him outside, or loss of appetite/weight may be something else. Has he had a blood panel done? Check for sugar/kidneys?

CiCiFreakingBabcock · 01/09/2020 22:05

She sounds horrid, I'd change vets. It might be worth giving the Feliway thingy a go. Last time we were at the vets we put one of their Feliway sprayed throws over his cage whilst waiting. Calmed him down no end and he was unusually compliant with the vet that day, even happily swallowed his worming tablet after our tales of it being impossible to medicate him blah blah blah Grin

CarolVordermansArse · 01/09/2020 22:06

And yes, find a better vet.