Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To start parking passive aggressively

51 replies

ShouldWeChangeTheBulb · 01/09/2020 19:05

We have a shared driveway with our neighbour. I have started getting more and more annoyed over our parking arrangements. NDN has 3 cars 2 of them are parked on his driveway. We have 2 cars and have room for 1 car on our drive. There is a 3rd spot that we have always shared. The majority of it is on our land but a slice is on NDN’s side. If we didn’t share neither of us would have room to park on our own side.
The problem is if we are parked there and then move he will move his car from the street to the drive which I feel is a bit cheeky. The other issue that annoys me is that both his cars that are on his driveway are never moved. They are both broken and unused and have been for more than a year.

Should I just chill and carry on with the arrangement?
Or should I jump up and take the spot if he moves and beat him at his own game?

OP posts:
Tyersal · 01/09/2020 19:41

If the shared area is meant to be left free you're both being unreasonable. Make your drive wider by sacrificing some lawn then put up a chain plant pots etc and make the shared bit unparkable (new word)

forrestgreen · 01/09/2020 19:44

I'd send him a note with the copy of the plans saying that you've only just noticed that that area must be kept free.

But that depends on whether you're happy to do that too

nosswith · 01/09/2020 19:47

Take note of the car registrations and report them to the DVLA. Alleging they are untaxed.

FunkSoulBrother · 01/09/2020 19:47

Diagram (I know the rules)

Nice one.

DorisDances · 01/09/2020 19:51

Excellent diagram OP Halo

Eileithyiaa · 01/09/2020 19:56

Even if they are untaxed they are classed as sitting on private land and not road so this isn't technically illegal I don't think?

OhCaptain · 01/09/2020 19:56

Of COURSE you park passive aggressively.

I got rid of a CF Parker by being PA and weird, tbh.

honeygirlz · 01/09/2020 19:57

@Eileithyiaa

Even if they are untaxed they are classed as sitting on private land and not road so this isn't technically illegal I don't think?
That's what I thought Grin
Devlesko · 01/09/2020 20:08

We fell in love with a house like this with a shared driveway, never in a million years. Who wants a nightmare just to park a car?
just play him at his own game, or ask him to move the extra cars.

BoomBoomsCousin · 01/09/2020 20:10

Realistically, unless he's a knob in other ways, you're better off leaving things as they are/maybe nipping out to move your car when he leaves sometimes if you can be bothered. Otherwise, you'd be letting his life dictate yours to a greater extent than it currently is.

I do see why it's annoying but most of the suggestions here hurt you too. The only approach that I can see where you get more use of the drive than currently (other than sacrificing more of your front garden) is if you play his game and move into the slot whenever he vacates it. Your other approaches all end up with you losing out on driveway parking as well as him.

What's more important to you - having more 2 car driveway time or making him suffer the consequences of having two broken down cars eating his drive?

BoomBoomsCousin · 01/09/2020 20:11

Just though - Another approach, if you think he might be amenable, could be to rotate who gets the space (e.g. you guys one week, him the next). He doesn't have as much incentive to agree to that if he's getting most use of the space now, but he may find it a pain to be nipping out each time.

SamHems · 01/09/2020 20:16

I’d buy some long narrow planters and install them down the dividing line.
Stick some flowers/bushes in and tell him you’re brightening the place up/blocking the view of his broken down never moving vehicles. Win win!!

bbpet · 01/09/2020 20:20

Maybe the 2 other cars are SORN so have to be kept on private land?

parietal · 01/09/2020 20:22

so what would your ideal solution be? do you want a situation that no-one ever parks in space no2?

If he is parked in space no2, can you get out of space no1 without him having to move?

I think the two broken cars on his drive are not relevant. they may not be pretty, but he can do what he wants with his space.

Biscusting · 01/09/2020 20:23

Why do people keep broken cars? There’s two people not far from us who do this.

WaxOnFeckOff · 01/09/2020 20:24

I can kind of see why he does it. The other two cars don't move and have effectively become invisible to him, so he sees that using space 2 is his only parking space that he actively uses where you already have a space that you actively use. so, if you are in space 2, from his pov, he never gets to park his car on the drive.

I know that's not the case and he already has two cars there, but as they don't move, they are no longer cars, just things stored on his garden - and you keep stealing his actual current parking space.

I don't know what the answer is and you are within your rights, moreso than he is, but he wont see it like that.

Is he the sort you could joke about the situation with?

Trikc · 01/09/2020 20:25

Why don’t you offer to take turns with the shared spot. One month then one month him. I’d be fairer and less hassle.

I’d also consider chopping down the established hedge, Having two proper spaces would add value. Might there be other ways to improve privacy such as a rolling fence?

Alonetime · 01/09/2020 20:25

Realistically, unless he's a knob in other ways, you're better off leaving things as they are/maybe nipping out to move your car when he leaves sometimes if you can be bothered

Yep, realistically this is what I would end up doing.

OP I love the bottom line on your diagram. I can feel the annoyance that his UR behaviour causes.

Alonetime · 01/09/2020 20:27

Even if you become a bit haphazard in your parking, parking square in the middle of your space, as soon as you move your car he'll be in the shared space so you're no better off really.

There's no way I would sacrifice a hedge for off-street parking.

stophuggingme · 01/09/2020 20:30

Get ridnofnskennornyournhedge and put a fence up on your driveway inside your half if the boundary point
You are not preventing his access to the shared h it if the fence stops where it starts and he can still use his drive?

stophuggingme · 01/09/2020 20:31

Rid of some of your hedge that nonsense should read

CarrieFour · 01/09/2020 20:31

@minnieok

I would leave the second car in the shared spot if only taking one car out!
Yup. This all day long!!
cuparfull · 01/09/2020 20:35

@nosswith

Take note of the car registrations and report them to the DVLA. Alleging they are untaxed.
If his cars are on private land, they can be SORN....legally untaxed. Is there space to park your second car exactly parallel with your Car 1, which means he couldn't use spot 2? What happens if you want to barrow stuff through into the back garden? Is he obstructing your legal access? Sounds like they're taking advantage tbh.
Midwife1997 · 01/09/2020 20:37

Shared drive way. My advice - never buy a house with a shared drive because it is asking for trouble.

Once when I was on call for home births I could not get out because I was blocked in.

Midwife

GiantPinesAhem · 01/09/2020 20:45

I don't understand, I've had shared driveways, you're not allowed to block them at all.