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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To support a home alcohol detox if no alternative

23 replies

CovoidanceMechanism · 01/09/2020 06:24

The many effects of the pandemic have caused more than one person in my extended family to have mental breakdowns. One very long sober alcoholic has now had a dramatic drinking relapse.

They are very ill, wanting to stop but advised by GP not to “stop dead” as drinking at least a bottle of vodka every day. They live alone.

They had some very tearful conversations with other family members yesterday they sounded at rock bottom to me on the phone late evening.

I’m registered to speak to their GP and will phone first thing to ask if inpatient detox available. If you have knowledge of this is it still functioning? How?

If it not available WIBU to have them to stay and attempt to support a home detox? As things are they will die alone. If here I could at least call an ambulance if things go badly. I have other family staying this week who would squash up and lend a hand.

They asked me to let them come here but would certainly agree to inpatient treatment if available.

IANBU to agree to them staying with me for detox if no alternative
IABU I should refuse to have them to stay while detoxing

Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
AmayaBuzzbee · 01/09/2020 06:27

I would do this, because she has had a very long spell of being sover. If she has done it once, then she may well be able to do it again, presuming this is what she wants.

titsbumfannythelot · 01/09/2020 06:27

As the child of an alcoholic who died at 52 I would say do it if you can.

You don't say who else you live with? What are their thoughts?

Original poster
CovoidanceMechanism · 01/09/2020 06:45

Yes many years sobriety and bravely facing problems and accepting help. This relapse would not have happened without the pandemic.

Everyone in my house would agree and support (ill person is a loved and valued family member) but I have the final say.

OP posts:
yawnsvillex · 01/09/2020 06:47

Yes I would support this. Can you also get in touch with AA?

titsbumfannythelot · 01/09/2020 06:54

I would do it then if everyone is in agreement.

Like PP said contact AA

titsbumfannythelot · 01/09/2020 06:54

And best wishes to you both

mdh2020 · 01/09/2020 07:32

You need to join Al-Anon as that will give YOU some support. It is important they don’t just stop drinking as they will have fits and could die. You are very brave to take this on so remember to look after your own health as (I’m afraid I speak from experience). There is very little help available on the NHS I’m afraid .

Cabinfever10 · 01/09/2020 07:45

I would not do this. The risk of death from alcohol detoxing when someone has been drinking a bottle of vodka a day is very high which is why the Dr has told them not to do this

StealthPolarBear · 01/09/2020 07:47

Do you have children /teens?

RJnomore1 · 01/09/2020 07:49

I think the op is talking about a medically supported and planned reduction in alcohol not a trainspotting type process (I know that was heroin)

What a horrible situation for you all. I can understand how people have ended up with relapses and issues. Do you have small children at home, if not I think I would have to give it a go. I hope it works for all of you 💐

Goldenhedgehogs · 01/09/2020 07:56

Definitely speak to the GP as in our area there is a substance misuse service that supports at home alcohol detox which is free to the patient and GPs, patients or social services can refer into. In that scenario the detox is done at home but under medical supervision so drugs are prescribed to ease the detox and make it safer plus health professionals visit the home and monitor the person during the detox. This type of detox yes but just stopping this level of drinking without medical support would be a no from me. Also if there are children in the home I would be looking to find out how the detox would present itself and possibly move them out to friends for a few days whilst the worst happens

ginandbearit · 01/09/2020 07:59

I used to manage and deliver home alcohol detoxes and , using high dose diazepam tapering down over a week to 10 days..but it was a requirement that someone was with the patient for at least the first four days plus regular cpn monitoring....see if your local Addaction or MH services offer this but it cant be done without intensive suppport .

rosie1959 · 01/09/2020 08:10

Sorry to hear your family member has relapsed
You say they previously had long term sobriety so they will have an understanding of what has happened and have experience of sobering up You don’t mention what support they had in their sobriety if they are a member of AA they will already know who to contact for help in returning to recovery
You can only but try to help as long as someone is with them for the first few days and you have access to medical help should the need arise. Not all alcoholics have a medical emergency coming off the drink just the usual sweats and shakes which medication can help with

Original poster
CovoidanceMechanism · 01/09/2020 08:53

Thank you all for every thought, perspective and warning. I am actively planning for everything mentioned, forgive me for lack of details due to time pressure.

I’m a longtime member of Alanon for which I am immensely grateful. This family member spent time in a CBT based rehab many years ago and has followed that method rather than 12 step for ongoing support through the years.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 01/09/2020 08:56

I wouldn't do it if there are children in the house.

PurpleDaisies · 01/09/2020 08:59

I’m not sure I’d do it with other family staying.

Have you got children at home?

PurpleDaisies · 01/09/2020 09:02

I would not do this. The risk of death from alcohol detoxing when someone has been drinking a bottle of vodka a day is very high which is why the Dr has told them not to do this.

It wouldn’t be a stopping cold turkey. It would be a medically prescribed detox done with drugs. That can be done safely at home with support.

If you can help, definitely do it but just consider the effect on any children in the house.

Youngatheart00 · 01/09/2020 09:02

You sound like an incredibly loving, supportive and pragmatic family member. Your family are lucky to have you.

No idea re inpatient detoxes but I see no reason they now shouldn’t be open, especially if you press. If not available, you / the patient needs to press for a prescribed step down programme with any supportive medication they see necessary. They shouldn’t have to go this alone.

Best wishes to you all.

Original poster
CovoidanceMechanism · 01/09/2020 23:47

Thank you so much, it's been a really tough day. The GP was fantastic.

There are no easy answers but there is still hope.

Tomorrow is another day.

OP posts:
titsbumfannythelot · 02/09/2020 06:23

There is so much hope with both the support from you and the desire of your family member to overcome this.

Dozer · 02/09/2020 06:26

Wouldn’t do it if you have children or teens, even older teens, in the house.

Heidi1976 · 02/09/2020 10:07

I would contact your local drug/alcohol treatment provider to speak to them for advice.

I absolutely would not do a home detox with no active professional guidance and support from alcohol. Alcohol and Benzodiazepines are the two substances where you can die from the detox alone if not done properly.

An alcohol detox has to be done gradually, structured and with prescribed assisted medication, especially when the person is clearly seriously physically dependant.

Please, please don't do this at home without intervention from professionals.

ilovesooty · 02/09/2020 10:22

This shouldn't be happening without clinical support.

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