10 yr old son has a girlfriend

[thebeachismyhappyplace2]

So ds who has only just turned 10 has recently got a gf, a girl he knows from his class. I know it’s all very innocent at this age and they are both very sweet kids but ds has almost become obsessed with her. They see each other once a week round either my house or hers. He is constantly wanting to message her from my phone. Every other message is “I love you so much” “I miss you” . I just don’t think I’m ready for all of this? Is this normal behaviour for a 10 year old? I’m not quite sure how to deal with it. Advice please as this is all new to me. (Up until a few months ago as far as I knew he didn’t like girls and used to say they “all smell” 😂)

My DD had a 'boyfriend' at 6/7, but it just fizzled out naturally because it was nonsense at that age. Ten is a bit different, heading into puberty etc. Loving and missing each other so much and relationships... Nah. I wouldn't like that at that age.

I remember 'relationships' in the first couple of years of senior school between people in my year, and I don't remember any of them being vaguely that intense. More embarrassed hand holding than declaring undying love.

Except for one girl who lost her virginity at age 11 to a boy in the year below.

My foster son at 5 was a bit obsessed by the idea of girls and having girlfriends. I think it was encouraged by birth mum but to me it seemed like it stopped him from developing normal friendships with girls and seeing them as equals as he was always on about them being gorgeous and beautiful. So any time he mentioned having a girlfriend I told him he was too young for a girlfriend and that he had a friend who was a girl. It definitely calmed him down and he now age 11 has a good friend who is a girl who he knows is just his friend. He has asked if he’ll be old enough to have a girlfriend in secondary school but I’ve said that it’s not a case of age it’s a case of knowing when a girl comes along who you want to go out on dates with and see more than you might want to see other friends. Also, he’ll be going to an all boys school so that might buy me a couple more years before he gets girl crazy again!

I had my first snog with my boyfriend age 10. We obviously didn't text each other cringey messages but did write pen-and-paper love letters to each other. My dd is approaching this age now and it's definitely not something I'm going to be encouraging!

i dont really think it's that unusual op. also, i don't get what other posters mean when they mentioned that 'playdates' are supervised?? surely at age 10 most kids go out with their mates and hang out down the park together? rather than having a 'playdate' while their parents sit in the same room and supervise??

strawberrymilk - I personally don’t know any parents that would let their 10 year olds hang out in a park with their mates with no adult nearby. I think when people are saying supervised play dates, they don’t mean sitting in the same room. Just perhaps an adult in the house.

You don’t know any 10 yr olds who are allowed out unsupervised? really?
How are their parents planning to prepare them for High School? push them in their pram? 🙄

@SBTLove

You don’t know any 10 yr olds who are allowed out unsupervised? really? How are their parents planning to prepare them for High School? push them in their pram? 🙄

agree. i am shocked at how namby pamby a lot of parents are. when i was a kid i regularly got given weak tea in my bottle, was allowed out to the park and shops from age 9 (grew up on an estate in a fairly large town) and from high school got several buses home and often stayed in town late, and just texted my mum to let her know. It never harmed me. at that age I was more than ready to hang out with my friends unsupervised, we regularly went to mcdonalds or hung out at the park. obviously it depends on the child, but most kids are mature enough to do that and will appreciate the freedom/trust.

My nearly 12 year old had a boyfriend for all of year 5 and 6, they were very sweet to each other and would have deep discussions about their future together like adults would. Gave me giggle, but also shocking to see how fast they get to this stage. Their hormones do play a big part and I remember doing the same thing at that age so I’d just see it as innocent and playing ‘grown ups’. take it as a compliment that DS has learnt something positive about relationships during his childhood.

Yep another for limiting phone access. It makes it all too instant and intense. Maybe agree once a day/ every two day phonecall for 5 minutes.