To want to have my hair cut and coloured professionally

[grannyslippers]

DH has discovered I pay about £70 to have my hair cut and coloured (which is why I only go about 4 times a year) and thinks its too expensive given we are on one income etc.etc.

Thing is if I go to a cheaper salon, I will lose the recipe for that Redken colour which I really like and actually looks nice. AIBU to want to have decent looking hair and stick with what I know? Is salon colour a ridiculous luxury?

I have got 2 inches of greying roots now so becoming urgent.

[Blondilocks]

Not saying she should go cheaper because her husband is saying it's too expensive, but if it was really an issue & a compromise was necessary then it would be an option ... or she could just go twice as often

I think I'd pick the second option!

[hollyhobbie]

Just want to say you're not alone:
I've just started going to a salon after years of colouring my hair at home and only having it cut in a salon once or twice a year.
If you can (just about) afford it, then I think it's SO IMPORTANT for your self esteem to have this done. It didn't seem so major to me until my 2nd child was born. Now I have decided that a small campaign to not just sink into "mumsiness" is essential for my sanity. So far I've done the haircut/colour and bought a new mascara.
The budget for new clothes is a bit slower in coming...

[bozza]

I have mine cut and coloured (highlights or lowlights) every 6 weeks so twice as often as you but as it only costs £18.50 (with DD's trim thrown in too) I am still only spending half as much. I don't think £70 is cheap but as others have said there are wider financial implications to this. DH does his own hair so it doesn't cost a penny but has other financial indulgences (like a golf club membership) so I would tell him where to go if he suggested I got the clippers out.

[heifer]

I went and had my coloured on Friday for the 1st time in about 20 years! I was rather shcocked that it cost £75..

A word of advice - do not book an appt without first checking how much it would cost.

And even more important, do not book another appt for 8 weeks time BEFORE you pay and thus find out it would be £75, and therefore the same again in 8 weeks time....

And to make it worse, I am not even that sure my hair looks any different - or she had done such a brilliant job that it looks really natural, as I can't remember just how much grey there was before!...

DH thinks there is less grey.. but not enough of a difference to warrant £75 everh 8 weeks...

Well he hasn't said that, but I know he would not been too happy with me paying that much every 8 weeks whilst I am a SAHM.

Actually just asked him, and he said £75 ok not not too often!...

So guys how much it too often!

[grannyslippers]

The whole discussion came about because our budget needs to be pulled in a bit, we were talking about it and I said, I could look for a cheaper hairdresser, my friend gets hers done for only £55, and his jaw hit the floor .

Thanks to the person who worked out it was only £1 a day, that's Martin Lewis logic.

I think I will try to shop more cheaply at Asda instead, and stretch the budget somewhere else.

Heifer if the colour is close to your natural one, you may get away with 3 month gaps (have just a cut and blow dry the alternate times if you need it)
See yes it's a dilemma isn't it?

[swalesie]

Thats not too bad, i used to pay 120 for highlights and a cut, but my hairdresser just left his salon and is now doing home visits instaed, which is great, i now get to sit at home with my girly friends a glass of wine, and a cheeper hair cut n colour at 35 quid , great!!!!

So have you thought bout using s mobile haidresser, so much cheeper and you can make a girly night of it!!!

[whiskeyandbeer]

you say money is tight, is there anything he spends 280 pounds on a year that is a luxury just for him?

[lucyellensmum]

Well i'm going to go against the grain here. YABU!! £70 on a hair cut at the best of times OMG!! I have my hair cut about once a year, the last time i did this it cost £40 it was birtday money. I nearly fell through the floor, ok she did a good job and i felt better in myself but when she said, would you like to book again for six weeks, i said, will it be cheaper because its not a restyle, she said No, i said, no thankyou!!

If your hubby felt he needed to highlight this as an non essential then i think that you should cut him some slack and compromise. Can you not stick some nice and easy on it to cover the greys? Could you just do what i do, go with what god gave you?

Ordinarily if a SAHM wants to spend money her hubby earns on stuff to boost self esteem, or to go bungee jumping if she so chooses then i would be in full support and jump straight on my feminist high horse if it was objected to, but if money is tight - no. Its about being grown up enough to think, this money could pay an essential bill or buy school shoes etc. If it is that important that you have your hair done, get a part time job to cover the bills.

My DD spent over £100 on her hair, i was gobsmacked, i couldnt believe it - yeah it looked amazing - black and green! But she earnt the money herself and left herself short the rest of the month to do it, next time she was at boots buing the dye it yourself stuff.

I am not big on my apprearance, clean is about all i go for these days, well always been like that really. My big spend would be on horses, i used to waste 100s on horse riding before DD and when i was working. I wouldnt dream of going horse riding (other than a once in a blue moon treat) at £20 an hour every week at the moment, we simply cannot afford it. We are not poor, but we are not rich either. I miss horse riding, i think it would be as good for my self esteem as would an expensive hair cut is for others, i could do with a boost, when we can afford it i will take it up again, but until then i'll stick to playing horsey with DD.

[lucyellensmum]

you dont say why your finances are stretched? IS it because you want a shiney new car, or something important like the mortgage

[harleyweendemon]

yanbu

thats what hair costs! (and 70quid is reasonable)

[blousy]

yanbu, £70 sounds reasonable to me. My hairdresser charges £150 for colour and a trim. I don't think it's a luxury - it's a necessity!

[grannyslippers]

Lucyellensmum you make some good points that is why I was in a bit of a dilemma because I partly agree with you.

In the end, we can afford it at the moment, but it comes out of a pot for clothes/hair/going out/general personal spending which is a lot smaller than when I was working.

Yes, why colour your hair at all? well I guess it's a confidence thing here because I had awful hair and was very lacking in confidence about it for years and it's made a big difference to me to be a bit more confident in how I look.

[lucyellensmum]

GS - i was worried you were going to be upset by my post, which wasnt my intention so thankyou for the response

If there is a general "pot" for these sort of things it does change things somewhat. AND i can totally appreciate where you are coming from re the self confidence as i have got ishooos surrounding that also. In fact, i could do with a hair cut.

Maybe you and DP, if you having to reduce this stash, to pay for other things, like life, should have an agreement that you have a set allowance each month and you spend it however you chose. Of course if that means you have to forgo the jimmy choos and manolo blaniks for the hair cut then i guess its a fair trade but you see what i mean. Just be really strict about not going over your allowance and the same for DH. That way, if you have a monthly allowance of say, £100 and you want to spend it all on your hair then thats none of his beeswax.

DP and I are quite "poor" at the moment as he is trying to establish a business and im not working. So it is a big financial strain. We tend to blow money on cafe and stuff and i thought to myself last night, if i were to learn to make decent coffee then i could afford a decent haircut - what is that thing they say about people in glass houses.

Is there a way you could maybe get a part time job once a week or something? I do a little job one afternoon at the local vets, it gives me a bit of pockey money and it conserves my sanity as once a week i get to do "grown up things" and have people actually value my opinions and advice Did you not use to do engineering? Is that something you could get some part time consultancy in or something, you never know, if you do, this time next year (as my DP always says) you could be millionaires

[grannyslippers]

My DH is also running his own business, it's been up and down since setting up 3 years ago but he's suddenly realised he's had a good summer and given himself a pay rise and bonus - so the pressure's off a bit. I feel for you it's not an easy life but so much better to be his own boss than somebody's yes-man (i.e. he's easier to live with because not grumpy all the time).

Do you know, it had not crossed my mind to get a job. I'm on extended leave of absence from my old job, so sort of still on their payroll. I expect to go back next Sept (only 3 more haircuts then!) DH's work is very irregular and pressured so we feel it's better for me to take full responsibility for the children atm. Also as ours are adopted we are investing some years of full-time SAHM-time to make up for their early disruption.

We have some money we saved up while I was working, for holidays, Christmas etc, so not really at risk of going into debt, but it's a case of living within monthly income for monthly expenses. Which we are not doing!

IKWYM about coffees etc. There's a fine line between appreciating the good things in life and just being consumerist. We have just been on a pretty expensive holiday but the year has been so hard it was practically a marriage-saver.

Are you going to ask for a cappuccino machine for christmas then?

[hifi]

i use my family allowance money for my personal maintenance.dh doesnt even know we get it.

[Vikkin]

Yes hifi that is a good way of dealing with everything.
My dh is virtually oblivious to every aspect of houshold expenses (he chooses to be). Occasionally I feel a bit stressed out that I deal with all the bills and he has no idea of how much things cost nowadays. If I express this to him, he increases the amount of money he puts into my account. But if you pressed him on it he would not know about the child benefit, he knows tax credits exist but no idea how much we get. AND he is totally unaware that his working tax credit actually gets paid into MY bank.
Funnily enough, I am perfectly happy with this arrangement as I grew up with a father who expected my mum to bring up 5 kids on £25 housekeeping.

[hifi]

i hope he never finds out, i also run household bills etc, have changed suppliers etc and reduced outgoings by about 400 per month, still pays in same amount though.

[colditz]

lucyellensmum, you don't know what arrangements hifi has in place to ensure the bills are met, and nor do you know the spending habits of her dp. I personally have diffent money coming in at different times of the month, and should I be in a position to afford it 9admittedly rarely), the family allowance is what goes on the treats - because it's monthly. I meet the bills in other ways, presumably so does hifi. Don't assume that just because a particular batch of money is spent on personal grooming that the children are barefoot and in rags!

[colditz]

PS if you have a Morrisons near you, they have an excellent offer on their own brand of nappies - a bumper pack for £4.67 (about 50 size 5)

[lucyellensmum]

i dont make that assumption at all, and as hifi manages the money then it seems a sensible arrangement. But to say, oh i hope DH doesnt find out is a little devious, of course he could be a controlling man who doesn't allow her any money so it is the only way she can have anything herself, but then she manages the finances so . That was all. perhaps i'm just bitter because i cannot afford my own "maintenane"
3and .it shows
0

[lucyellensmum]

actually can i take all of that back and apologise, my money issues are clouding my judgement and i'm stressed this morning -really sorry hi fi. you manage the money and it seems sensible to me - sorry sorry sorry

[lucyellensmum]

colditz - i'm mortified, i cant believe i typed all of that, how can i get the post deleted so hifi isnt upset by it?

[colditz]

No you mustn't panic, I wasn't telling you off, just have a different point of view and you are as entitled to yours as anyone else is - everyone's issues cloud their reasoning sometimes, we are all just people who have live live in the RL!

You could press the exclamation mark next to your post and ask them to delete, they do for me when I ask them too, they will for you if you explain why.



Don't worry. I have been there with the money shite, it clouds EVERYTHING.

[hifi]

hi lucyellens mum, i didnt see the deleted one, were you being horrible about my sneakiness? dh has loads of money, never looks at prices, extravagant with himself etc., i get a very generous monthly allowance, i pay for food only, the bits i sneak go on my dd, just so i dont have to keep asking him for extra cash.if i told him i had reduced costs he would go and spend it on a 70K car that hes after and i dont agree with that.the more i save , the more he spends so i have given up, normally frugal.