To feel embarrassed - teeth

[screamer1]

I've not looked after my teeth. I have loads of fillings and need an implant to replace an old roof canal. I feel so ashamed.

It's like I have a mental block about looking after them. I've had 3 children in relatively quick succession. I work at night once they're asleep and often roll into bed at 2 in the morning too tired to do anything else.

I'm so ashamed and scared to go to the dentists.

I’m terrified. I have ptsd that is badly triggered by 1) someone touching my face, particularly my mouth and 2) the shaming/critique style some dentists use to scare you straight. How can I find a suitable dentist that will be kind to me? My smile looks lovely superficially but I know I need work.

I wish my parents made me brush my teeth, they didnt and i ate sweets and didnt really start brushing properly and consistently til around age 9, i had fillings in all 4 corners of my mouth and obviously still do. I am disappointed in myself for leaving it too long since i last had a checkup. You are not the only one, i am giving myself a kick up the arse to look after my teeth better now

Mine are a mess too. 4 root canals, multiple fillings, one even missing at one side as I pulled it out. I look after mine as best I can now but they have cost me thousands over the last few years.

SickToDeathOfThis that's so hard! Do some online research and get as many recommendations as possible from friends.
Then call and explain. I think it would be important to make an appointment just to meet and talk to the dentist first - no work - and see if you feel they understand. Talk about what happens if you can't go on, about anesthetics, consider getting a few valium from your GP to help. You could take a support person with you.
You need someone to take baby steps with you, but I'm sure that dentists have helped people like you many times before.

If you saw me smile you'd think I had perfect teeth. However, my back teeth are far from good. I have a gap where I had a tooth taken out during pregnancy and then the dentist went private and I could find another for a while. I also have a black back tooth and plenty of fillings.

The dentist is systematically sorting them out and doing a good job. No work being done at the moment though, due to Covid.

Please go to the dentist when you can - you won't regret it.

I have lovely, straight white teeth - but am missing lower molars on both sides, and have root canals/crowns on two upper molars. I pretty much clenched them into bits, and had a period where I was at the dentist with some problem every other week. My DP used to joke that I was having an affair I was there so often.

I’m not scared of the dentist, but am really frightened of needles, so far from an ideal patient. My dentist is LOVELY, and so kind and patient. I wish I could send you to her, OP.

Mine are rubbish too. Parents never took me to the dentist or got me much needed braces. So embarrassed by them. I was supposed to finally get braces this year - no idea when I'll get them done now

Thank you so much everyone. Your stories are making me feel better knowing I'm not alone. I will go when I can, but it's so scary.

I wish I had a pound for every time someone had said ‘I bet these are the worst teeth you’ve ever seen’
I’ve yet to be shocked with someone’s mouth or teeth ( 24 years as a hygienist)
Please please find a dentist you trust - this is fixable

We don’t do shocked We help you to get your mouth healthy

I have horrendous teeth. Didn't see a dentist for coming on 20 years. I had a really bad experience as a teen with a dentist who was apparently shortly after struck off, then missed an appointment when I was 18 due to an unexpected house move and the only nhs practice locally wouldn't accept me back. At the time I was terrified of the dentist so wasn't bothered.

Then I began to have children of my own and realised how important it was. But couldn't afford for us to go privately. So we ended up on the waiting list for about 8 years. In the end I was constantly checking an nhs web page I found that showed if dentists were taking on nhs patients locally and one day one surgery a few towns over from us was.

I knew my teeth were bad, though I'd always been religious about brushing, I'd obviously not been doing a great job, as I had a huge build up of tartar on the backs of my front teeth, probably from some serious smoking as a teenager. Turns out I also have a very wobbly front tooth, very advanced gum disease and will be lucky to keep them all as I get older. I'm a few years off 40. For my age, it's bad.

However, the dentist was amazing. Very kind and gentle and caring. I didn't explain that I was afraid or embarrassed. Though I did apologise a lot for the condition they were in and he just brushed it off. I cried at my second appointment when I found out my X-ray results and just how serious my gum disease is and they showed me enormous compassion. And reassured me it will all be ok.

Sorry that's a bit of an epic saga! But honestly, I was terrified, shaking in the waiting room and mortified about the state I'd let my teeth get into. And they really are bad. But the relief now that my family finally have access to dental care and that hopefully my children will never be without it again is huge. And hopefully I'll keep my teeth for longer now than I would have done if I'd let the fear and embarrassment win.

Is it worth emailing /ringing around your local dentists and explaining that you’re a nervous patient , you’re long overdue a checkup and treatment and that your teeth have been neglected due to stress and depression? You want somewhere gentle and compassionate!

If you saw me you'd think my teeth were good but I've loads of fillings that I'm gradually having replaced for white ones each time they need.

I didn't gofor over a decade and it was only down to the DC that I started.

My dentist is very gentle and patient with nervous patients. It's definitely worth going OP. You deserve to have teeth that don't hurt, see it as self care.

Maybe ask around your friends or on social media for a nice dentist locally.

If anyone needs one in Northants I can recommend ours - they take on new NHS patients.

You can do this x

Vitamin K2 supplements might help repair the enamel.

YABU to not get it sorted out; it's a risk factor for heart disease (which K2 also helps prevent).

Please take a look at Dental Fear Central - I don't know if it's acceptable to include the link, but google it and the website will come up. They are lovely and very supportive, plus they have a list of dentists who are experienced in helping the terrified.