Making conversation with other parents is really hard while watching DC?

[ConfusedPanda]

We moved to a new area recently. No problem I thought, I have two DC so will easily make friends by arranging play dates/park trips/soft play visits etc. No worries.

Went on a walk to the woods with some mums today who I met through a local FB group. I have a preschool age DS and a DD who is a baby.

They were all totally lovely but oh my god it was stressful. I find it hard enough taking the kids out on my own anyway but making conversation at the same time was a whole new ball game. I did it and hopefully gave vaguely appropriate responses but honestly half the time I'm not even sure I knew what we were meant to be talking about.

It took forever to persuade DS to stop clinging to me saying "mum....mum...mummy...muuuuuuuum" but when I finally got him to go off and play with the other girl his age I was then worrying constantly that he would run off too far/fall in a pond. Meanwhile DD is crying because she's tired so I'm having to rock her to sleep in the pram whilst trying to make conversation, then DS tells me he needs a wee....

Am I being unreasonable in finding this hard? What am I doing wrong? Is there a way to make it easier?

Is it just me then?

It is hard. I've had play dates before and didn't feel like I caught up with my friend at all, we were both running around after our 2 year olds!!
Could you meet in a park where they're contained in the play area, and you can sit on the bench? Or have a play date at home?

I hate it. I much prefer going to someone's house/garden or having them to mine, although that can still be stressful and is trickier when you are just getting to know them. Your attention is split in 3 (child, baby, conversation) and you never get to finish the conversation. Hang in there and get to know them well enough you can do other things, like an evening drink 😁 or a coffee once your eldest is at nursery.

Yanbu it’s impossible ! I never think I finish a conversation or even a train of thought !!

Yep! This is me when catching up with friends who have kids. I find that we end up chatting more on WhatsApp then when we actually see eachother!

I’m moving to a new village soon and will be in the same situation but I only have one little one. I think you just have to take it for what it is! Keep arranging play dates and hope that it’s a friendship that slowly blossoms once you actually get to chat. I do think going to other people’s houses or hosting tends to be better. Then once you get to know them more you could arrange a child free lunch or glass of wine one evening.

YANBU. It’s only started to get easier recently and mine are 5 and 3, and still now I sometimes leave feeling like we haven’t actually chatted much at all, depending on what mood the DC are in! No advice, but you’re not alone.

Thank you for the solidarity! Glad it's not just me.

DH asked me what I spoke about with them and if anyone said anything interesting, and I'm sat here trying really hard to remember anything from the conversation! I was just so distracted. It's like trying to remember what was said on a drunken night out.