OLD annoyance. Ghosting after enthusiastic date

[Chairlove]

Been OLD for a while in and off. I never take down my profile unless I have been on a few dates and the chemistry is there. This is the first time I have been ghosted after the guy showed lots of interest. In contents I did delete my profile and restart it again for new matches. Not too sure he has noticed this, and this is the problem?

I meet a guy and went in a few dates. He was shy in person, not too sure I 100% fancied him, but nice guy, so let’s meet again and see. He was really keen on text between dates. He even arranged the next date on the last date.

When I got home we arranged Tuesday. Next day he suggested weekend instead, as he was working at 6am all week and I don’t finish till 7pm. Fair dues. He was enthusiastic over text.

So I suggested booking food and a pub. His reply don’t worry got all week to plan. I joked this virus has spoiled any spontaneous drinking and eating. City I live in you need to book in advance as it gets busy. But let me know what places you fancy and I can book it during the week.

No reply and not read message till 24 hrs later. I then sent a hey how’s your day. Not read it. I know I have been ghosted by someone I am not overly fussed about. I will not text him. But it’s the enthusiasm, him suggesting the date and then ignoring me that’s annoying. Immature.

I really want to send a message telling him it’s rude and grow a pair and tell me you have lost interest. I appreciate a text saying not wanting to see me again - I have politely sent it to guys. It fair as you both know where you stand. Not ignoring them.

I don’t do OLD as married, but what does deleting your profile and then restarting it for new matches men and why is that something that could have upset or noted him?

I wouldn’t send the grow up text to him btw.

It shows on your match profile the user is deleted. No idea - bern dumped after 1 date before as I still had an active profile.

I am not going to send the text. Just really annoyed. Wish I could, but it’s childish

I do OLD and its honestly brutal I'm afraid. He may have been on a date with someone who really fancied him and decided they seemed more keen than you so putting their focus on them instead. Most men I've spoken to just ghost rather than actually go through all the effort of an adult conversation 🙄 you get used to it

I bloody hate OLD. I’m attempting it at the moment and it’s awful. On the app I use I tend to tell people my number after I’ve been messaging them via the app for a few days. Then I just block them on the app so they can’t see whether I still have a profile or not. I don’t know what the standard procedure is.

Ghosting is fucking brutal. Even when it’s someone you’re not particularly interested in it’s just horrible. I don’t think sending a text will help though, as tempting as it is. Onwards and upwards.

It sounds like you might have come across a bit too keen by trying to lock in the next date when he was being casual about it. That plus it would seem to him like you have taken down your profile. Maybe he thinks you are moving things too fast.

It was him suggesting the next date. I suggested a day and then he suggested a day. Don’t think I was keen. Just wanted to book something as where I live, if you don’t book in advance you can’t get in.

He even paid saying you get it next time. I offered a few times to go halves.

Annoying. Well dodged a bulletin if ye can’t have a conversation

I’ve had exactly the same and it so bloody annoying! I had (or so I thought) a really good date with a guy last weekend and since then I’ve heard nothing from him. I’d rather a text saying thanks but no thanks than be left wondering what I did wrong.

@Bigyellowsunshine don’t think like that. You did nothing wrong. You win some, lose some. Normally you can tell if it’s mutual. I have not texted someone back after a date, as we both know it’s not there. Send him a text.

I am annoyed as he suggested meeting up
again. I wouldn’t of chased him up
Again for another date unless he suggested it. Was in the fence. Now he suggested and ignored me, that’s what’s more annoying.

Depending on how long it's been you could always give him a chance. I had an ex boyfriend, who was lovely but was pretty rubbish at messaging etc. He worked hard...often leaving the house at 6.30/7 and getting back 12 hours later (builder). By the time he got back it was shower, dinner and bed pretty much. Yes it was bloody annoying but not why we broke up.
Just message him... say you know restaurant x and y have spaces on whatever day, does he fancy either?

I had this recently, exactly how you describe, the enthusiasm and the fact we had a good time on our dates. Then nothing! I initiated contact via when I hadn't heard from him by text and then he stopped replying mid conversation.

I'd have been fine if he had just said he wasn't looking to take things further but the ghosting annoyed me so much. I actually wish I'd just sent a final text to let him know he was rude and then blocked. I wouldn't have lost anything. Unfortunately this happens when OLD.

@catsoup completely agree. Be adult. I was on the fence so not that bothered about seeing him. It’s the ghosting. Well at least I got a free accidental meal and found out he is childish Upsides