Fed up of the pressure.

[JalapenoDave]

Long time poster. Changed name due to possible outing reasons. Really unfortunate as I preferred my other name!

Anyway. I am 29. 30 at beginning of December. I am married (1 year in November).

I am not ready for children. Simple as that. The idea of it terrifies me. The lack of sleep, the giving up of your identity. I'm shit scared of being a mum. I'm shit scared of how my life would change

I'm under so much pressure from my MIL and SIL. Saying I need to "hurry up as it might take years" and my "time is running out".

I do not want children yet. I have a plan in my head on how I want life to go. A baby isn't in those plans yet.

AIBU to feel pressured; should I have a baby sooner than I want, to please family? Or should I wait? My head is everywhere. Do other women feel this pressure?

We had to tell them we couldn't have kids to get family to back off. Five years later we had DD and they couldn't care less, never visit etc so the badgering was simply a method of making us feel inadequate.

Completely agree - you do you.

I had DS to please everyone but I wasn’t ready and don’t feel like I did everything I wanted to do before having him. Now everybody is asking when I’m having a second. I’m never falling for that one again! DS is wonderful and we adore him but honestly you can have a wonderful fulfilling life without having a child. Do not cave in to the pressure like I did!

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your comments and thoughts.
I do definitely want children, just not within the next year or so. There are things I want to do before the commitment of children. My DH is in the same mindset as me, we are very much on the same wavelength.
I will politely but firmly tell them next time they start questioning that we will have one when we are ready, not when everyone else is ready! Families eh.

At least you and dh agree - that's the most important thing.