To want to quit breastfeeding for these reasons and tips pls?

[Mummyofmay2020]

1. Baby is nearly 8 months
2. She's using me as a human dummy at night. Wont settle back to sleep without boob. I'll find this harder esp when i go back to work soon
3. I have a hospital procedure coming up and i dont know much much pain I'll be in after- i would feel less pressure if she didn't rely so much on me for feeds
4. I've been told by mum friends that after after 6 months the longer you bf the harder it can get to stop as baby becomes more clingy and assertive - what are your experiences?

I feel quite sad at thought of stopping as she loves it so much, but i think i need to start reducing somewhere at least. I'm thinking of swapping one mid day feed for a formula bottle , hoping she will accept both formula and bottle - can imagine her going ew - what is this rubber teat lol. Is this the best way to begin the journey? All tips gratefully received.

Will she take a dummy? Might help her settle at night though it’s normal for an 8 month old to want to feed a lot including during the night. A dummy is a pretend boob so she’s not using you as a dummy, she’s just used to and enjoying that contact with you.

Do you cosleep? I feed my DD and barely wake up while doing so.

Will she take a bottle of expressed milk or formula, have you tried it before? There are so many different types of bottles and teats, you could start trying some now. Have you told your medical team you’re breastfeeding and asked what to expect following your procedure?

Clingy and assertive can equally be seen as well attached, having a good secure bond to their mum and more efficient at feeding!

Hi OP

I night weaned both of mine at this age - one of them woke and fed to sleep every 90 min max and it was exhausting so we got a sleep trainer. It wasn't cry it out but did involve some crying- pm me if you want some more info

My DD was the same, she fed to sleep and used boob as a comforter. I the same worries as she started nursery at 9 months, she refused a bottle or dummy ever. I stressed a lot about trying to cut her down ut actually she just naturally did it herself. Once she started nursery the day time feeds dwindled, I carried on feeding her at night until 15 months, decided one day that I was done, took her in the car to get her to sleep first couple of nights and that was it, she never even asked!

Both of mine weaned themselves at 9 months because they found the bottle more convenient (they could look around, crawl with it etc), but they both had pacifiers so meant they would self settle rather than rely on me.

The key is definitely getting her to take both pacifier and bottle, although she may not. If you don't think she'll take to formula, you could always try expressing some bm and then mixing with formula so she gets used to it. Bit of a massive faff though.

I introduced a bottle at 2 weeks with both my kids so they were used to it, but formula around 6 months - neither of them batted an eyelash at the change!

Sorry that you’re feeling sad and a bit of a crossroads. I always think breastfeeding has these moments of loving it and hating it, and then feeling sad / guilt at wanting to stop. It’s all normal, and if I can recommend anything, it is to acknowledge and accept the feeling(s) and go with your instinct 24 hours later.

I do also agree with @OoohTheStatsDontLie that night weaning maybe a half way house to ease it for you a little.

We followed a gentle method from a blog (which was recommended to me) to get a bit more structure during the night so baby wasn’t so reliant on me www.drjaygordon.com/blog-detail/sleep-changing-patterns-in-the-family-bed Many people have talked about this method on MN and in real life, and it does work and you can alter it for you (we didn’t follow it to the letter but made use of the info in the blog)

Just in response to point 4, I do call a bit of BS. Bottle or breastfed, babies’ generally attach to one care giver (normally the mum as they take time off work). Baby will be prefer one parent over another and in turn maybe clingy, but no different to a bottle fed baby. I would certainly recommend starting early with your partner being involved in bath time, bed time routine etc with you on ‘standby’ to feed, but importantly, to leave and allow baby to be used to someone else. It’ll help (it may not solve) the concern about your baby being clingy if you continued to feed.

My experience is that DH was fully involved in bedtime, and certainly at that 8-9 month mark, I made DH step up and stop using the excuse that baby needing feeding! I printed the above blog out and gave it to him, and we set a little routine of milk downstairs from me, him taking dd for a bath, stories, maybe more milk, and then patted to sleep by DH. Didn’t always go that way, but it helped (for us)